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ds_flashfiction2003-11-17 07:01 pm
chesamus.livejournal.com) wrote in ds_flashfiction2003-11-17 07:01 pm
Entry tags:
Recipe Challenge - You Say Cannolis, I Say Foreplay
606 words. They should have been jelly-filled Krispy Kremes, but I couldn’t find a recipe for them.
“Cannolis? You’re making cannolis?”
“Why not? I love cannolis, and I love watching you watch me eat cannolis. You do that thing with your tongue...”
“Ray! You promised--”
“I know but that don’t mean I still don’t get hard every time I think about it. The way you sucked all that cream out...”
“I - it was shameful.”
“It was hot. I’ve never been ravaged in an alley before. That was easily the best blow job--”
"Ray! Please!”
“All right I won’t bring it up again for awhile. But I’m still making cannolis.”
“You are making cannolis?”
“You don’t have to sound so surprised, Frase. I can cook, you know.”
“I did not know. You’ve never demonstrated any culinary skill in the kitchen except for sorting through take-out menus.”
“That is so not true! I can cook, I just choose not to.”
“May one ask why?”
“One may.”
“--”
“--”
“Very well. Why do you choose not to cook?”
“Cuz Stella took all the cooking stuff and all I have are my cow plates, three mugs, and some silverware I got from the breakroom. I just never got around to buying new.”
“So without a mixer, measuring cups, cannoli forms, or any of the other necessary accouterments, you are baking cannolis for the pot luck Monday.”
“Don’t have a recipe either.”
“Ray, you’re not purchasing them and passing them off as homemade?!”
“Fraser! I don’t cheat except when I have to. No, Ma Vecchio is going to lend us her kitchen.”
“Us?”
“What, you got some pemmican standing by?”
“Well, actually, Ray...”
“No. Absolutely no way are you bringing pemmican to a pot luck. Besides, I could probably use the help.”
“Probably. Have you ever made cannolis before?”
“Actually, yeah. When I found out I was going undercover as Vecchio, I figured I better learn some Italian cooking.”
“I hadn’t realized that was part of the assignment, Ray.”
“Wasn’t. But I don’t look anything like Vecchio - hell I don’t look like any Italian I’ve ever seen. Figured if I couldn’t look Italian, or sound Italian, I could at least maybe cook Italian.”
“That’s an interesting theory--”
“Yeah, but Italian cooking is hard on a kitchen, you know? I didn’t have all that stuff even when I had all that stuff. You can’t believe the mess I made at class.”
“Having seen your housekeeping skills first hand, I can imagine.”
“Hey! Clutter does not mean dirty - and why are you being so mean? Making fun of my cooking and my cleaning. I never make fun of you.”
“And I suppose your comment this afternoon about dead caribou stories wasn’t an insult.”
“No, it was a statement of fact. I mean, let’s face it Frase. As much as I like your dead caribou stories, I don’t think the Duck Boys do. I was just trying to protect you.”
“So if I express my skepticism about your ability to make cannolis, and suggest a dish slightly less complex, you should not see it as an insult but rather my sincere concern for your safety and the well-being of Mrs. Vecchio’s kitchen.”
“--”
“--”
“You think I’m maybe overreaching a bit?”
“I think you should consider a nice tray of brownies or perhaps some cupcakes. Box mixes are actually quite flavorful, Ray, and it would only necessitate the purchase of a few items.”
“Instead of us spending a Sunday scouring down Ma’s kitchen. But you’ll still help me, right?”
“Of course, Ray. I shall look forward to it.”
“Cool, and if you’re nice to the chef, I may just let you lick off my spoon.”
NOTE: Seriously good cannolis. Because of copyright, I’m not posting the recipe here but rather a link to the one I used from the Food Network.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_5543,00.html
“Cannolis? You’re making cannolis?”
“Why not? I love cannolis, and I love watching you watch me eat cannolis. You do that thing with your tongue...”
“Ray! You promised--”
“I know but that don’t mean I still don’t get hard every time I think about it. The way you sucked all that cream out...”
“I - it was shameful.”
“It was hot. I’ve never been ravaged in an alley before. That was easily the best blow job--”
"Ray! Please!”
“All right I won’t bring it up again for awhile. But I’m still making cannolis.”
“You are making cannolis?”
“You don’t have to sound so surprised, Frase. I can cook, you know.”
“I did not know. You’ve never demonstrated any culinary skill in the kitchen except for sorting through take-out menus.”
“That is so not true! I can cook, I just choose not to.”
“May one ask why?”
“One may.”
“--”
“--”
“Very well. Why do you choose not to cook?”
“Cuz Stella took all the cooking stuff and all I have are my cow plates, three mugs, and some silverware I got from the breakroom. I just never got around to buying new.”
“So without a mixer, measuring cups, cannoli forms, or any of the other necessary accouterments, you are baking cannolis for the pot luck Monday.”
“Don’t have a recipe either.”
“Ray, you’re not purchasing them and passing them off as homemade?!”
“Fraser! I don’t cheat except when I have to. No, Ma Vecchio is going to lend us her kitchen.”
“Us?”
“What, you got some pemmican standing by?”
“Well, actually, Ray...”
“No. Absolutely no way are you bringing pemmican to a pot luck. Besides, I could probably use the help.”
“Probably. Have you ever made cannolis before?”
“Actually, yeah. When I found out I was going undercover as Vecchio, I figured I better learn some Italian cooking.”
“I hadn’t realized that was part of the assignment, Ray.”
“Wasn’t. But I don’t look anything like Vecchio - hell I don’t look like any Italian I’ve ever seen. Figured if I couldn’t look Italian, or sound Italian, I could at least maybe cook Italian.”
“That’s an interesting theory--”
“Yeah, but Italian cooking is hard on a kitchen, you know? I didn’t have all that stuff even when I had all that stuff. You can’t believe the mess I made at class.”
“Having seen your housekeeping skills first hand, I can imagine.”
“Hey! Clutter does not mean dirty - and why are you being so mean? Making fun of my cooking and my cleaning. I never make fun of you.”
“And I suppose your comment this afternoon about dead caribou stories wasn’t an insult.”
“No, it was a statement of fact. I mean, let’s face it Frase. As much as I like your dead caribou stories, I don’t think the Duck Boys do. I was just trying to protect you.”
“So if I express my skepticism about your ability to make cannolis, and suggest a dish slightly less complex, you should not see it as an insult but rather my sincere concern for your safety and the well-being of Mrs. Vecchio’s kitchen.”
“--”
“--”
“You think I’m maybe overreaching a bit?”
“I think you should consider a nice tray of brownies or perhaps some cupcakes. Box mixes are actually quite flavorful, Ray, and it would only necessitate the purchase of a few items.”
“Instead of us spending a Sunday scouring down Ma’s kitchen. But you’ll still help me, right?”
“Of course, Ray. I shall look forward to it.”
“Cool, and if you’re nice to the chef, I may just let you lick off my spoon.”
NOTE: Seriously good cannolis. Because of copyright, I’m not posting the recipe here but rather a link to the one I used from the Food Network.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_5543,00.html