ext_12440 ([identity profile] brooklinegirl.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] ds_flashfiction 2003-12-29 03:02 pm (UTC)

"Good." Fraser Sr. turned to leave, then turned back. "Because I've put a lot of effort into coming here."

"GET OUT!" Ray yelled.

"I'll wait for you to finish, then," the old guy said, and left.


Did I mention how much I adore well-written Bob Fraser? God, this was perfect! And how amazing a writer are you, because I can see this:
shot the dead guy a look that said, I will punch you, on his way to his bedroom

So very perfectly Ray! And I thought this was heart-breaking:
Ray's heart tripped over itself in its race to escape from his chest.

"Dial the number, son," Fraser Sr. said gently.


I love the balance you get here, between humor and true caring. I just really adored this part, mostly because of Ray just moving forward, finally, zoned, lost in finally getting it, getting there, making the right decision, finally. Beautifully done.

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