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Shay (
shayheyred.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
ds_flashfiction
2006-02-10 02:43 am (UTC)
no subject
I have to agree with
brooklinegirl
's comments about you showing, and not telling. And the last line, among so many fine lines, is absolutely so Ray and so on-target, it made me whimper.
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