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apetslife.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ds_flashfiction2006-04-17 07:17 pm
apetslife.livejournal.com) wrote in ds_flashfiction2006-04-17 07:17 pm
Entry tags:
Badfic Challenge - by Pet
I am so sorry! I couldn't make it badfic! There was Ray being all sexy, and looking for Fraser, and offering to kick people in the head, and...yeah. *hangs head in shame*
Title: Searching For Benton Fraser
Author: Pet
Prompt by:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lynnmonster (In the course of an investigation, Ray comes across a [wardrobe/portkey/neat-o airplane/big metal circle/etc.] and winds up in [Narnia/Hogwarts/Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters/Stargateverse/etc.]. Watch as he interacts amusingly with the locals! See the different worldviews clash! Will Ray ever get home? Will Fraser come to his rescue? Chapter 2 coming soon.)
Warnings: None. None at all.
"Get that gun out of my face or I will kick you in the head."
As introductions go, this isn't actually the strangest that John Sheppard's ever heard, but it's close. The alarms had gone off, unauthorized entry through the gate. Shutdown the gateroom, yada yada, guns at the ready, yada. And then what had come through...
A skinny guy with...okay, Sheppard thinks, he's got great hair, but still, he looks kind of psycho and he's waving a handgun around and threatening people, and that kind of thing just can't go on.
"Put the 9mm down and I'll get the gun out of your face," he counters, not wavering an inch. Ronon's like a wall behind him, he can hear Rodney ranting somewhere, but all he's watching is this guy's eyes. They're weird. Huge and weird. Maybe he's an alien after all.
Cautiously, slowly, after a quick glance down Sheppard's uniform that lingers on the insignia, the guy thumbs the safety on the gun, and just as slowly raises both hands in the universal sign for "I give up." Sheppard doesn't believe it for a second.
"Now step back two steps," he orders, and the guy gives him the most massively contemptuous eyeroll he's ever seen, while doing it. "What?" he hears himself say. "I don't want any headkicking, thanks."
"There are one, two, five, a *thousand* of you right here," the guy snaps back, and if that isn't some kind of massively Midwestern accent, Sheppard will eat his Johnny Cash poster. Maybe not an alien, then. "And you all have gigantic guns. What kind of idiot would I gotta be to go kicking heads?" He looks around fast, then, and seems to actually forget about the guns. "Wait. Where's Fraser?"
"Who are you," there's Rodney at John's elbow, and he bites back a groan, "and what's a Fraser? How did you get here? What are you doing here? Where are you from? What's the--"
"Okay, you can shut up now," the guy tells him shortly, and Rodney, for a miracle (or maybe it's just shock), actually DOES. "Now show me where you got Fraser or I will take this place apart, piece by piece, inch by inch, down to nuts and bolts and...whatever else it is made out of, and I will--"
"Okay," Elizabeth says brightly. "So I think probably someone should take him to the infirmary!"
***
Over the course of the next few hours, they discover that Stanley Raymond Kowalski is, in fact, a human. He's also a documented cop (he shows his badge to everyone several times) and has apparently come to Atlantis on the trail of the kidnappers of his partner (the now-famous Fraser), who had vanished with him (Fraser) into a warehouse. Ray had followed, seen a great big ring that he thought was a doorway, and bada-bing, bada-boom (Ray's own term) here he was.
"There's a stargate in CHICAGO?" Rodney is horrified. "I HATE Chicago!"
"That's obviously the important thing here," Sheppard tells him, as dry as old toast. "Hello, Rodney, we have a random civilian HERE, on ATLANTIS, and he got here ALL ON HIS OWN."
"I'm not a civilian," Ray protests, and pulls out his badge yet again, only to hastily tuck it back away at Sheppard's Look. "Whatever," he mutters. "I'm sick of all of you already, I gotta get out of here so I can find Fraser."
"You can't just 'get out of here,'" Carson informs him gently, while taking more blood. "This is a secure military installation, floating in the middle of a giant sea--"
"Wait." Ray stares at him, pale. "Did you just say we're in the middle of the ocean?"
"Well, yes," Carson replies, clearly pleased that his patient is finally listening to him.
"Oh my god," Ray says, even paler, if possible, and suddenly looking a little wild around the eyes. "I can't SWIM."
And when the entirety of the city of Atlantis shuts up tighter than a clam with a SLAM that can be felt all the way to the topmost tower, that is when they discover that Ray Kowalski has the gene to a degree not seen since John Sheppard.
"It's the hair, right?" Rodney mutters into the dark. Ray even closed all the windows, apparently. "It has to be the hair."
Watch as he interacts amusingly with the locals! See the different worldviews clash! Will Ray ever get home? Will Fraser come to his rescue? Chapter 2 coming soon.
Title: Searching For Benton Fraser
Author: Pet
Prompt by:
lynnmonster (In the course of an investigation, Ray comes across a [wardrobe/portkey/neat-o airplane/big metal circle/etc.] and winds up in [Narnia/Hogwarts/Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters/Stargateverse/etc.]. Watch as he interacts amusingly with the locals! See the different worldviews clash! Will Ray ever get home? Will Fraser come to his rescue? Chapter 2 coming soon.)Warnings: None. None at all.
"Get that gun out of my face or I will kick you in the head."
As introductions go, this isn't actually the strangest that John Sheppard's ever heard, but it's close. The alarms had gone off, unauthorized entry through the gate. Shutdown the gateroom, yada yada, guns at the ready, yada. And then what had come through...
A skinny guy with...okay, Sheppard thinks, he's got great hair, but still, he looks kind of psycho and he's waving a handgun around and threatening people, and that kind of thing just can't go on.
"Put the 9mm down and I'll get the gun out of your face," he counters, not wavering an inch. Ronon's like a wall behind him, he can hear Rodney ranting somewhere, but all he's watching is this guy's eyes. They're weird. Huge and weird. Maybe he's an alien after all.
Cautiously, slowly, after a quick glance down Sheppard's uniform that lingers on the insignia, the guy thumbs the safety on the gun, and just as slowly raises both hands in the universal sign for "I give up." Sheppard doesn't believe it for a second.
"Now step back two steps," he orders, and the guy gives him the most massively contemptuous eyeroll he's ever seen, while doing it. "What?" he hears himself say. "I don't want any headkicking, thanks."
"There are one, two, five, a *thousand* of you right here," the guy snaps back, and if that isn't some kind of massively Midwestern accent, Sheppard will eat his Johnny Cash poster. Maybe not an alien, then. "And you all have gigantic guns. What kind of idiot would I gotta be to go kicking heads?" He looks around fast, then, and seems to actually forget about the guns. "Wait. Where's Fraser?"
"Who are you," there's Rodney at John's elbow, and he bites back a groan, "and what's a Fraser? How did you get here? What are you doing here? Where are you from? What's the--"
"Okay, you can shut up now," the guy tells him shortly, and Rodney, for a miracle (or maybe it's just shock), actually DOES. "Now show me where you got Fraser or I will take this place apart, piece by piece, inch by inch, down to nuts and bolts and...whatever else it is made out of, and I will--"
"Okay," Elizabeth says brightly. "So I think probably someone should take him to the infirmary!"
***
Over the course of the next few hours, they discover that Stanley Raymond Kowalski is, in fact, a human. He's also a documented cop (he shows his badge to everyone several times) and has apparently come to Atlantis on the trail of the kidnappers of his partner (the now-famous Fraser), who had vanished with him (Fraser) into a warehouse. Ray had followed, seen a great big ring that he thought was a doorway, and bada-bing, bada-boom (Ray's own term) here he was.
"There's a stargate in CHICAGO?" Rodney is horrified. "I HATE Chicago!"
"That's obviously the important thing here," Sheppard tells him, as dry as old toast. "Hello, Rodney, we have a random civilian HERE, on ATLANTIS, and he got here ALL ON HIS OWN."
"I'm not a civilian," Ray protests, and pulls out his badge yet again, only to hastily tuck it back away at Sheppard's Look. "Whatever," he mutters. "I'm sick of all of you already, I gotta get out of here so I can find Fraser."
"You can't just 'get out of here,'" Carson informs him gently, while taking more blood. "This is a secure military installation, floating in the middle of a giant sea--"
"Wait." Ray stares at him, pale. "Did you just say we're in the middle of the ocean?"
"Well, yes," Carson replies, clearly pleased that his patient is finally listening to him.
"Oh my god," Ray says, even paler, if possible, and suddenly looking a little wild around the eyes. "I can't SWIM."
And when the entirety of the city of Atlantis shuts up tighter than a clam with a SLAM that can be felt all the way to the topmost tower, that is when they discover that Ray Kowalski has the gene to a degree not seen since John Sheppard.
"It's the hair, right?" Rodney mutters into the dark. Ray even closed all the windows, apparently. "It has to be the hair."
Watch as he interacts amusingly with the locals! See the different worldviews clash! Will Ray ever get home? Will Fraser come to his rescue? Chapter 2 coming soon.