You've found me out--really I just want people to read the original ;)

Seriously, I'm very flattered that it made you look up the original! In that particular stanza I was looking at those lines as being hesitation...being stuck, and the self-doubt and self-hate that goes with that hesitation. For RayK I wanted it to ring with homophobia, but I wouldn't presume to say that's what Eliot had in mind :)