How did I miss this when you posted it? Darn! It's very insightful. I love your speculation about Ray's issue with filling spaces.

This, especially, was so beautiful and so on target:

He got why Fraser hadn’t sent him home to get on with his life and he realised Fraser wouldn’t ever send Ray away - there was a Ray-Kowalski-sized space in Fraser’s life just as there was a Benton-Fraser-sized one in Ray's.

*melts*