Bravo. Fantastic. I could count on one hand the fanfiction stories that have made me cry over the years, but this one had me sobbing loudly by the end. The eyes to the ceiling trick was never going to cut it.
Little things I especially liked included the kindergarten-quality map and the way the memory had shifted until he'd become this little willowy thing.
Big things were "This place has my blood in it," Kowalski said again. "Not to mention a whole lot of sweat and maybe some tears." (I think that was the part that first made me cry) and Ray V finally breaking down with Fraser in their final conversation and giving him a kiss on the forehead.
The topic of how people face death is immensely interesting to me and I really can't think of a story I'd rather read. I deeply appreciated that you didn't bring in any of the canon life-after-death stuff. I wish I knew what Fraser meant by this line: "I once imagined I knew something about death. Now, though ... well, I think that was just imagination."
There's some punctuation missing after gathering up the kindling and And—just—I'm sorry". I hope you can fix them some time, because this story is way too good to have any typographical errors!
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Little things I especially liked included the kindergarten-quality map and the way the memory had shifted until he'd become this little willowy thing.
Big things were "This place has my blood in it," Kowalski said again. "Not to mention a whole lot of sweat and maybe some tears." (I think that was the part that first made me cry) and Ray V finally breaking down with Fraser in their final conversation and giving him a kiss on the forehead.
The topic of how people face death is immensely interesting to me and I really can't think of a story I'd rather read. I deeply appreciated that you didn't bring in any of the canon life-after-death stuff. I wish I knew what Fraser meant by this line: "I once imagined I knew something about death. Now, though ... well, I think that was just imagination."
There's some punctuation missing after gathering up the kindling and And—just—I'm sorry". I hope you can fix them some time, because this story is way too good to have any typographical errors!