ext_3554: dream wolf (Default)
ext_3554 ([identity profile] keerawa.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] ds_flashfiction 2008-03-19 05:20 am (UTC)

Gah, LJ ate my first comment.

This is really powerful, brig. Those scattered images at the hospital captured Ray's shocky perceptions.

Here is the point where the entire story fell into place for me: why a father doesn't teach his daughter...

"...how to make a goddamn fist!"
For some reason that transition from past tense, describing, to Ray desperate words was a bit shocking, like a slap across the face, and where I had been protecting myself from it until then, the whole scenario just HIT me.

And the way that Fraser can't give Ray what he needs to start moving forwards, but Karen and Audrey can? Felt real.

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