ds_flashfiction | where's the lie? where'd the lie go? uh-oh ... the lie's gone! ... oh, there you are.

Teeny, tiny little lie in this one ... bonus points if you're actually able to find it. This was written in about half an hour, I don't usually write from Fraser's POV, and I didn't edit it at all, so blame the weirdness on all those factors.

Weighing in at 365 words:

Frostbite

"I just ... I get nervous sometimes, y'know?"

He's curled around Ray in the darkness, warm sheets tangled between his legs, listening to Ray's husky voice, soft in the stillness. He can feel Ray's heart beating beneath his hand.

"I mean, we're doin' so good here with everything ... we're ok, the job's ok ... nothing's going wrong. We're great, we're amazingly great ... It's weird, I just feel like it's ... like it's too good to be true or something."

Yes. He glances out the window at a patch of white on the roof across the street. He can't tell what it is from here, but if he squints, it almost looks like snow.

"You're gonna tell me I'm paranoid. I probably am ... but I just can't help feeling like it's all gonna fall apart eventually."

The summer heat is making him sluggish. It weighs down on him when he's outside. Wearing the uniform now makes about as much logical sense as sitting in a sweatlodge wrapped in cling film, but he wears it anyway. It's his duty, after all.

"I know you don't like it here too much."

He craves cold now, as he would imagine an addict craving a hit.

"I don't want to keep you here if you don't want to be here ... but I don't want you to leave, neither."

All his dreams are cloaked in white, soft blue shadows.

"I dunno. I might miss you or something, if you go off without me ... Am I just talking bullshit here, Fraser? You getting what I'm saying?"

He wants to see his breath hanging frozen in the air again. "Not a bit of it, Ray."

"You're lying to me, Fraser."

"Yes, Ray."

There is silence for a small eternity. Ray sighs, a small, tired-sounding exhalation. He welcomes it, tightens his embrace.

"We'll leave soon, ok? Don't know for how long. I want to go with you."

"Thank you."

"'S'ok, Fraser. Go to sleep."

He kisses the back of Ray's neck, clean salt sweat and clean light taste of Ray on his lips. "Yes, Ray."

Ray's breathing slows, evens. Fraser imagines him on snowshoes and smiles in the darkness.

-end-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, delicate as a snowflake, and as ephemeral. Lovely.

Thank you kindly. :-)

This is sheer poetry. Lovely, the way you punctuate Ray's speech with Fraser's images of cold. And the ending was perfect.

Aw, you flatter me. Glad you liked it.

sihayeb said it perfectly.

(What's the lie? The duty to wear the uniform, because he doesn't have to wear the serge?)

I suppose that since so many people found different lies, this story is pretty much a "Pick-Your-Own" experience. Thanks for reading and for the pretty compliments. :-)

This left me content and nicely tingly.

Hee, I made someone tingly. :-) Glad you enjoyed it.

Loved it -- teeny and perfect.

Thank you kindly, ma'am. ::doffs hat::

Perfect and beautiful.

Thank you very kindly. Love the icon. :-)

What weirdness? =) This is very nice!

I'm glad you didn't find any weirdness. Thanks for reading. :-)

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Thanks. :-)

Beautiful. Captured both voices perfectly. I'm glad Ray is going with him :)

Of course Ray is going with him. I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings to have it any other way. :-) Glad you liked it.

::sigh:: Yes, lovely.

I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. :-)

Lovely like gossamer. More complicated than it looks at first glance. Wonderful!

What lovely compliments! Thank you!

Jeez, if you wrote this a half hour, I can but wonder what fantastic result you'd get with a free afternoon. But maybe that's the joy of flashfic, eh?

The fascinating thing to me is how intimate this seems, and yet how distracted Fraser actually is. He's there, but he's not. I don't mean he doesn't want to be there, but I don't really think he's paying attention to what Ray says until "I want to go with you." So perhaps the lie is not that he is lying to Ray, but that he's not:

"You getting what I'm saying?"
"Not a bit of it, Ray."
"You're lying to me, Fraser."
"Yes, Ray."

:shrug:: Or maybe I just have worms.

:shrug:: Or maybe I just have worms.

BWAHAHAHA!

::tries very hard not to snicker:: No, I don't think you have worms. You actually pointed out something that I had no idea was there, which I love. Thanks muchness. And yes, unfortunately, it is the joy of flashfic, since my longer stuff takes forever and never seems very good. Perhaps I just need a good beta to beat my brain with sticks until it actually works. ::sigh::

Glad you liked it!

This was so lovely. I'm really glad it had a happy ending- I wasn't expecting that.

I love happy endings! Nothing but! Very happy to surprise you. :-)

my thesaurus can't come up w an appropriate substitute for lovely, either, so i'll add mine to the list. it was lovely - tender without a hint of smarminess to it. congrats.

So many wonderful adjectives ... ::happy sigh:: Thank you kindly.

"We'll leave soon, ok? Don't know for how long. I want to go with you."

In my head, Ray is dying and Fraser is comforting him with this lie.

(I'm reading today Armistead Maupin's _The Night Listener_ -- not a Tales of the City book, but has real references to them-- which is all about health & sickness and lies, so it's very likely this has colored my perceptions.)

Julia

Whoa....::shiver:: That's a grim concept.
When I read "Don't know for how long" I thought, nope, Ray knows for how long. Forever.

That's the lie I was thinking of, too. Do I win a tiny chocolate Ray-and-Fraser, appropriately half-melted?

Nice work!

Whoa....::shiver:: That's a grim concept.

Indeedy. No death here - the boys have been through enough, I think. And besides, I need my happy drabbles once in a while. However, if one wishes to interpret it that way, one would hardly need my permission. ::does the proper authorial thing and hastily backs off::

When I read "Don't know for how long" I thought, nope, Ray knows for how long. Forever.

Yes! Forever! Happily ever after after all!

Do I win a tiny chocolate Ray-and-Fraser, appropriately half-melted?

You would win them just for that icon. Yummy. And, hmm, there's an idea ... custom-made Mountie chocolate molds, with bonus spiky-headed cop shapes. :-) I have a new business!

Very happy you all enjoyed it. Thanks!

First of all, your subject line made me grin (as any reference to HCL usually does). So, yay.

The story: gorgeously woven. I love the mood, the picture, the feeling you create. I love Fraser's thoughts, so keenly off-set by Ray's words, Ray's gentle worries.

So many wonderful lines, but this one stuck with me:

All his dreams are cloaked in white, soft blue shadows.

Beautiful.

I honestly think that that was one of the only scenes in HCL in which I actually liked Joe Dick, unfortunately. He's such a ... well, a dick, for the rest of the movie.

Thank you kindly for the lovely compliments. I'm glad you liked it.

where's the lie? where'd the lie go? uh-oh ... the lie's gone! ... oh, there you are.

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I found -- I think-- a different lie

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