Oh, help me...

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

...I attempted my first ever drabble...and tanked! What the hell did you expect from me? *g* 131 words.



What She Doesn't Say
by lamardeuse

It's not completely a lie, but it's still a sin, a sin of omission.

Because while she's saying it, she's also thinking of the news story she saw last week about the two men shot and killed in their own home

--that struck her at the time, their own home--

and she's thinking of the smaller hurts that would be more likely to happen, the stares and whispers and rude phone calls. Ugly words in red spray paint bleeding fresh on their front door.

She's thinking Your father will never accept this. Never.

She's thinking that maybe things are different in Canada, but she's not sure.

But she's also thinking, my boy looks alive again, and so when she says it, it's not completely a lie.

"I'm happy for you, Stanley."

Comments

[rhiannon-jehane.livejournal.com]

Wow. You sure pack a punch in very few words.

Beautifully done!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad to hear it--most of the time I'm pretty dang wordy!

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie, this was lovely!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you!

[umbo.livejournal.com]

Mmm, this was a great response to the challenge. Lovely!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And may I just say "Mmmm" to your icon as well? *g*

[umbo.livejournal.com]

TYK! It was made for me by the lovely and talented rusty76, who is the goddess of icons as far as I'm concerned--she made me this one, too.

[tobyfan.livejournal.com]

Wow. Powerful message in just a few words. very impressive. *g*

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I wanted to see if I could do a short one this time...

[akite.livejournal.com]

Dang! How do you do that? So few word, so much said. Wow!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm glad it worked, because I'm usually a lot more verbose.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

that is so much the opposite of *tanked*

are you fishing for compliments or do you truly not understand just how well you write? : )

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Actually, I meant tanked on the 100-word drabble limit. Though I'm surprised I got that close.

[dirty-diana.livejournal.com]

Heh. By "tanked" I actually thought you meant you wrote it while drunk. But either way, that was excellent. :)

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

LOL! I've written while mildly buzzed, but I don't think I could manage it drunk. Thanks!

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Boy Howdy! A lot of emotion in a few sentences. I like Barbara stories a lot and I hope you do more with her.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I just found that the whole lie theme worked with this particular scenario--the idea that mothers lie to their kids--or rather, keep silent on their own emotions--to spare their feelings.

[unoriginal-liz.livejournal.com]

Very nice! It's such a believable 'mom' reaction.

Liz

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks; I appreciate your feedback.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Oh. Just....oh!
::melting::

(And, lest you think we never read these things: full of snot???!!! You northern types are so delicate.)

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

:P I know, I'm gross. But "sick" didn't cover it. I'd like to trade my sinuses for a newer model...

Thanks for the comment!

[twistedchick]

Simply wonderful.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

As usual, you touched a tender spot.

Go, Mrs. Kowalski!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you. That's Ray--tough but tender. Like veal.

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

Gah! I loved this, even though it twisted my stomach into knots.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, that incident "in the news" actually happened in California a few years back; I thought I'd incorporate it in this.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's a huge compliment, that this resonated in some way with you. Thank you.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

This is quite the week: both of us came in under 1000 words. I know you were aiming for under 100, but you came damn close! This is wonderful stuff. I admire people who can say so much in so little. It makes my heart ache to read, Ma Kowalski wanting her son to have that happiness, and hoping he's strong enough for the hardship that will come with it.

Nicely done, poor sick lamardeuse!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

This is quite the week: both of us came in under 1000 words.

Hey! I came in under 1000...at least one other time! :)

Glad you liked it!

[wildmachinery.livejournal.com]

This story made me ache. Wonderful job. ::hands you tea and tissues:: Feel better!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Aching--ouch! Sorry--hope it was a good ache. :P Thanks for the feedback!

::taking tea and tissues gratefully::

[askye.livejournal.com]

I really like this, and event though you didn't make the 100 word limit you were trying for, there wasn't a word wasted.

I especially liked the image of red paint bleeding, right after the line about men being shot in their own home.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks--glad you thought it came across well! Maybe I'll make the 100 next time. :)

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

I don't think you can call this tanking - it's just, y'know, extra-drabble-y goodness.

Also, meep! Poor Barbara, worrying about her baby!

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I knew it would be tough to keep it to 100 words--at least, for me! :) Glad you thought it worked.