Mendacity Challenge & Flashfic debut

[askye.livejournal.com]

So this is my flashfiction and DS debut. Actually I have a drabble I wrote for something else out there, I'm saving it in case the right theme ever comes up. Thanks to the_star_fish and rainbow_goddess for betaing this.

Clocking in at 283 words and untitled

Frannie hates running into old friends. She hates the small talk, the questions. She hates talking about her brother. They always say the same thing:

We haven’t seen you. We haven’t seen Ray. We heard he moved out, was there trouble? Is he seeing someone?

She hates their questions and she gives her answers quick and to the point. She’s started being rude.

He’s busy with work. There’s no trouble. No, no, he’s not seeing anyone. Look, he’s an adult. Adults live on their own. Okay?

Now she has a reputation for being rude, people have started asking Ma or Maria:

What happened to Frannie, she used to be such a nice girl.

Frannie accepts it, she’s not a nice girl anymore. How can she be a nice girl? She lives in the middle of a web of lies.

Which she hates.

Sometimes she gets so mad because no one seems to take the undercover business seriously. Ray chases after his ex-wife---Stella, not Angie. Ray’s parents come to the station—-his Dad, not Ma. She hates that everyone at the station seems to know that Ray Kowalski is playing at being her brother. Frannie worries that one day the men out where ever Ray is--because no one has told her where he is--will figure out that her brother is playing at being someone else.

She hates worrying about what she’ll do if Lt. Welsh calls her in his office, not to complain about her clothes or filing but, to tell her Ray is dead.

All of the lying and worrying and she knows that she would never be able to look at Ray Kowalski and say, “I don’t blame you.”

Comments

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Oh! This is terrific. So much in so few words, and so many truths hidden behind the lies. You rule.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Oh wow! Thanks!

[axiom_of_stripe]

oooh! hard-hitting and to the point! what a great way to see frannie.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly! I'm glad you liked it!

Very good!

[dementia-12.livejournal.com]

Great POV story! :) It seems like something that she would really think about because we've probably thought that ourselves.

Re: Very good!

[askye.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's something that nagged at me.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[dirty-diana.livejournal.com]

Oh nice take. You put us right in Frannie's head, it almost hurt.

[askye.livejournal.com]

That's a wonderful compliment! Glad you liked the story.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

i love reading stories that show characters in a new way - particularly when my first reaction is "of course she'd feel that way. why didn't i think of that?" welcome!

[askye.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly. DS fandom has been a great one, very welcoming.

[byob-kenobi.livejournal.com]

What chesamus said, exactly! Awesome debut!

[askye.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you!

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

(See! I told you!)

I still love it, doll. Glad you made it in under the wire!

[askye.livejournal.com]

You did! Thanks again for the help.

[countess7.livejournal.com]

This is fierce! Wow - you *know* Frannie. And the last sentence, whoa. Blow my mind, baby!

[askye.livejournal.com]

I blew your mind---cool! You don't know how thrilled I am to hear that.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Beautiful idea. The woman I adore and her hidden rage. Go you.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

Frannie

[themoo37.livejournal.com]

Exactly. You have to wonder just how hard K is really working to protect V. You nailed this. Your first DS fic, you say? To quote Tom Lehrer (no, I doubt you kids have ever heard of him, snicker) "More, more, I'm still not satisfied!"

Yay!

[daughtershade.livejournal.com]

I was wondering when you would write something. Yay! It's great too. Nice job.

[duesouthficrecs.livejournal.com]

It was with trepidation that I clicked on the link for this story because, nine times out of ten, I loathe Frannie stories.

This was one of those 'one time out of ten I like Frannie stories' story.

You articulated in a few words the biggest problem with seasons 3-4.

Beautiful. Take a bow.