ext_2127 (
resonant8.livejournal.com) wrote in
ds_flashfiction2005-03-11 10:34 pm
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Lie challenge: Campfire Tales by Resonant
I think I started this the last time there was a Lie challenge.
Fraser/Kowalski, NC-17, 3100 words.
Thanks to
cesperanza and
kaneko for beta.
Campfire Tales
Fraser/Kowalski, NC-17, 3100 words.
Thanks to
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Campfire Tales
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"Fraser," he whispered, so close he could feel Fraser's breath against his cheek. "You can lie to me if you need to. If that's what you need."
Fraser opened his mouth, probably to say, Thank you, Ray. Ray interrupted him with a finger on his lips. He heard Fraser's sudden intake of breath.
"Or," he said, "you and me can lie to the whole goddamned world and tell the truth to each other."
. . . because it is dialogue so pitch-perfect I can't imagine Ray saying anything else.
(Also, I happened upon "Mortification" earlier today and grinned the whole way through. Turnbull! How can I help loving him?)
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I copied the same quote as the person above while I was reading it, because -- yes, yes, yes. The story is building slowly and quietly along, growing and growing, and this is the perfect point it's been building to; it's immensely satisfying.
"Fraser," he whispered, so close he could feel Fraser's breath against his cheek. "You can lie to me if you need to. If that's what you need."
Fraser opened his mouth, probably to say, Thank you, Ray. Ray interrupted him with a finger on his lips. He heard Fraser's sudden intake of breath.
"Or," he said, "you and me can lie to the whole goddamned world and tell the truth to each other."
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::weeping with joy at the utter wonderfulness of this story::
This is such an amazing juxtaposition of the noise of of lying and the stillness of perfect honesty. Loved it.
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And I adore your icon.
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And I love Ray's honesty. It's really very believable.
Thank you so much for sharing!
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And this line right here? "Or," he said, "you and me can lie to the whole goddamned world and tell the truth to each other." Just perfect.
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Do you know, my LJ notification apparently has some objection to you in particular, because I never get an e-mail notification of your comments? It baffles me.
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Brava!
Bravissima!!
Beautiful and scary and perfect.
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That just made me want to curl up and listen to a great tale. Really enjoyed this so much.
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I'm glad you liked it.
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And that first desperate kiss? Just whoa
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That part told him that Fraser's arguments were all in the word part of his brain. And that wasn't the lonesome part.
How does your brain come up with these spectacular things? Love this so much.
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Love the lines everyone else is quoting, and a whole bunch more besides. Great work!
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And your icon is mesmerizing.
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"I ever tell you the story about the boy that got in a wizard's way and got thrown into a whirlwind for seven years?"
Snerk.
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Something about this made my stomach clench; there's beauty in that kind of terror, reckless and vulnerable and foolhardy.
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I remember this one from the "Summarize your WIPs" meme, and I'm so glad that you finished it :) The story is absolutely wonderful, I loved all the fireside tales, and the perfect balance of passion, angst, and humour woven throughout the fic!
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Shit, shit, shit. He never should have said anything, because now he could see that he'd had hopes for this conversation, how stupid was that, he'd had motives he hadn't even known about, and now he'd fucked up everything.
This is just so perfectly Ray, right here. Outing himself without even consciously knowing he's doing it. Ray is a lot smarter than he thinks *g*
All of this is wonderful - thank you so much for it!
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I think Ray's smart with the non-thinking part of his brain. The thinking part (and the talking part) tends to get him in trouble.