ds_flashfiction | For the Dating Challenge by Shayheyred

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For the Dating Challenge by Shayheyred

Possibly the shortest story, save a drabble, I've ever written. Also the first DS flashfic I've done in some time. Go figure.

August 18

…is their anniversary.

Not the one when they said "I do," but the one when they finally said "I don't."

Ray celebrates the date by getting laid-out-blotto-drunk at whichever bar he's chosen for that particular year. It's always a different bar, always well away from his apartment or the station, because he doesn't want pitying or disgusted looks from any bartender who might remember a hollow-eyed aging punk who rambles on about what might have been, before vomiting onto the sawdust floor and taking a header off the bar stool.

This year will be the fifth anniversary of that anniversary.

Happy fucking anniversary, Stella.

September 10

…is his birthday.

Not Raymond Anthony Vecchio's birthday or even Langoustini's, but rather the day he was reborn as the Bookman. As a natal day it's actually far more like Halloween, what with the on-going disguise and bags of nose candy the Bookman keeps around. But then every day is Halloween in Vegas. Nothing's real here. Everybody wears a mask.

Ray just wonders if he'll be able to take his off when it's over.

July 1

…is the date they reached the end of their quest and looked northward over the ocean.

…is the date Benton turned to his right and stopped in the middle of a sentence.

…is the date he saw the sun rise behind Ray Kowalski.

…is the date Benton declared independence from his past.

August 18

…is their anniversary.

They celebrate with pemmican pizza, and some good Canadian beer ("All Canadian beer is good, Ray"), and read the annual "We don't get it, but happy anniversary anyway" card from Stella and the Style Pig.

And then they say "I do" all over again.

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Yay! I was contemplating writing something along these lines, but you did it better. (And, honestly? GMTA.)

I doubt I wrote anything better than you could, dear, but I appreciate the sweet comments.

(Of course, being internet-luddite-istic, I don't know what "GMTA" means!)

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beledibabe.livejournal.com - 2006-09-26 20:22 (UTC) - Expand

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shayheyred.livejournal.com - 2006-09-26 20:49 (UTC) - Expand

Shay, this rocks. It's a really neat interpretation of the whole dating caboodle and it hits right here.

Thanks! I feel like there's something missing, but I can't figure out what. But I"m glad it hit you right there.

This is a wonderful take on the challenge. :D

Thanks so much (ooh, pretty pilot!Fraser icon)!

…is the date Benton declared independence from his past.

::squeak!:: Oh, I love this. The whole thing is wonderful -- cool take on the challenge.

Thank you so much! I love that I made you squeak~

So few words to say so much. Wonderful.

*seconds the motion for ...is the date Benton declared independence from his past being the most awesome line ever*

Thanks so much. It was the line that came to me first, actually.

I am going to tie you up and make you write more flashic, damn it, because this is made of awesome and you need to write more often.

My eyes got a little teary at the lovely full-circle structure.

Mmm, the promise of bondage...

...I mean -- thanks so much!

Full circle for RayK. I like the poetry in that.

Thanks so much!

Wonderful take on the challenge. I love that Ray now has something good to celebrate on August 18.

Me, too! I guess I'm sekritly schmoopy at heart.

ooh - little goosebumps! That was very nice.

Hooray for goosebumps! Thanks for writing.

Oh very nice! I like these lots :)

Thanks so much -- and oh, what a hot icon!

shay, shay, shay, you have won my heart AGAIN. I love this, god, it hurts alll through the first two, ached so bad, but oh, oh, oh -

…is the date he saw the sun rise behind Ray Kowalski.

…is the date Benton declared independence from his past.

*flails with joy*

(what about Vecchio? Does he get to be happy? Can I make the last section a threesome in my head? IS it a threesome, and I am just too pretty for words? It is, right? *paul gross pretty*)

See, that's what's wrong with this story. It needs another section, probably between the last two. I realized that after the fact, because Ray V needs closure. I plan to rewrite it a bit.

But thank you so much, shweetie, for the cheer!

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shayheyred.livejournal.com - 2006-09-27 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

…is the date Benton turned to his right and stopped in the middle of a sentence.

…is the date he saw the sun rise behind Ray Kowalski.

…is the date Benton declared independence from his past.

Oh, beautiful! The sun rising behind Ray!! I'm surprised Benton didn't see it before, but better late than never, and what a lovely and memorable image.

I don't think anything's missing, but the big paragraph under Sept. 10 could be clarified. I wasn't sure which Ray you meant, because it all seemed to be about Vecchio, and "nothing's real here" seems like you mean Vegas. If you are, I don't get why. If you're not, why is it "here" (since Ray K was never there in canon), and the only antecedent for here (grammatically, that is) is Vegas. So that could use clarity, but all the rest is just perfect, and the language, oh...the language is just gorgeous.

Thank you! Those are great comments, and very astute suggestions. As I said above to

brooklinegirl, I'm writing another section, to give Ray V closure.

YaY!

*runs off to circle them on the calendar*

Yes, let's all have a DS anniversary celebration, with Canadian beer and pemmican pizzs!

Thanks so much.

Yes, exactly!!! Loved your take on this and the result is brilliant.

You're very sweet. Thanks, dearie!~

"We don't get it, but happy anniversary anyway"

Nice touch!

Thanks -- I just edited that in. As some pointed out, Ray V needed closure. Thanks for the nice comment.

This is lovely. ♥

Also, the dates - very clever.

Thank you kindly, as someone we know likes to say.

sweet! i love the closed circle.

So do I! Thanks so much.

Aww, YAY.

Short, yes, but sharp!

Apparently I can write in any fandom as long as I can write and post the story within one hour.
Thanks, my dear.

Yeah, Shay fic and a lovely one, of course! YEAH!!!

…is the date Benton declared independence from his past.

Thanks so much.

That is fantabulous!

So few words, but they say so much.

I was amazed it was so short. When I tallied it up, I was expecting it to be a thousand words -- it's closer to 400.
Thanks for commenting!

Aw, yay! *loves*

*preens*
Yay, China Shop loves it!

This is lovely.

I'm delighted you enjoyed it.

This rocks more than my socks do.

Seriously fabulous! YAY! Now i have an excuse to have a drink on every August 18th from now on!

Great story, just what i needed to cheer me up. :)

Let's make it a national holiday -- national Drink a Toast to Slash Day!

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taroly1888.livejournal.com - 2006-09-28 11:41 (UTC) - Expand

Really lovely. You manage to say so much in so few words. Tell you what, I'll just leave it at that before I start rambling and ruin the effect...

Praise can NEVER ruin the effect! Thank you!

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