This was excellent. I agree about all the nice detail touches. It's wonderful that you can add such strong detail in a short piece without slowing down the pace at all. Well done.

Oh, and my favorite bit?

By the time he got back with the Bic ballpoint, Fraser was seated and staring at the paper as if he could see through it with X-Ray vision, right down to the neighbor's below, where they must have had a roomful of caribou to keep Fraser that interested.

Fraser and his caribou! LOL! That was great.