ext_2393 ([identity profile] kormantic.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] ds_flashfiction2003-06-21 11:34 pm

Documentation Challenge: The Dotted Line

It's about 1200 words. What's 200 words or so between friends?




The Dotted Line
by Pares




"Bullshit."

"I beg your pardon?" Fraser's voice only hinted that he was pissed; Ray had learned to listen for it.

"You don't mean a word you just said. 'I feel the time is right to move on', 'I'm looking forward to new challenges'," Ray mimicked, and crossed his arms against his chest. "That's bullshit. I call shenanigans, Fraser."

Maybe the flush that skated over Fraser's face was anger, but Ray had his money on shame.

"I didn't expect to find you so... combative, Ray."

"Well, I didn't expect my best friend to stand in my kitchen and lie to me, either, so I guess we're even Stephen."

Fraser blinked twice and pulled absently at his stiff collar.

"I'm not lying, Ray," he said, but he kept his eyes on Ray's floor like the linoleum was sticky enough to cement them there until the next ice age.

"Prove it, then."

Fraser's eyebrows were giving it all away; Ray hadn't seen a perp this rattled since he'd picked up Little Jerry Tattletale on the Lower East Side.

"I'm sure I'd be offended, Ray, if I had any idea why you believe I'm lying about being glad to get home, to once again--"

"Save it for the confession."

"Confession?"

"Yep. If you're telling the truth, then I want it in writing." Ray drew out a chair at the kitchen table, and patted the Formica tabletop. "Have a seat there, Fraser." He flipped open the little square notepad he kept by the phone and ripped out a single sheet. Even from three feet away, Ray could feel Fraser dying to neaten up the dangling raggedy bits that hung from the side of the page, but he kept his grin to himself and slapped the blue-ruled paper down in front of the still-empty chair. "Lemme get you a pen."

By the time he got back with the Bic ballpoint, Fraser was seated and staring at the paper as if he could see through it with X-Ray vision, right down to the neighbor's below, where they must have had a roomful of caribou to keep Fraser that interested.

Dief barked and Fraser shot him a dirty look. It never failed to crack him up: Fraser treated Dief the way Ray's older brother David had treated Ray. But with less punching.

Ray set the pen down with a crisp little click, and leaned both hands on the table. Fraser looked up at him, all imploring, the Big Mountie Eyes set on stun... but Ray was a hard guy, and he didn't flinch.

"Tick tock, my friend." He tapped the paper twice. "Write it down just like you told me."

The kitchen florescents were pitiless, and Ray could see a single bead of sweat form at Fraser's hairline.

"But Ray--"

"I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what to write. Make it easy on you. Maybe not word for word or nothin', but the basics, right? Write this down: I, Benton Fraser, being of sound mind--"

Fraser spread his hands on the table and glanced up, clearly annoyed.

"Now, really, Ray, this isn't my Last Will and Testament, and you've taken confessions dozens of times. This isn't even close to regulation--"

Waving his hands, Ray drowned out Fraser's complaining. "Blah blah blah, you're stallin' and that's all I hear. Fine, I'll write it, and then you can read it over and sign on the dotted line." And he tugged the lined paper out from under Fraser's hands and began to write, sheltering the paper with his hand when he caught Fraser trying to read it upside down.

A few chews of the pen cap later, the confession was done. He handed it to the Mountie with a flourish.

"Read it over. Out loud," he specified.

Fraser was trying not to frown and doing a shitty job of it, but he cleared his throat and began to read it.

"I, Benton Fraser--"

"Hey, what's your middle name, anyhow?"

Fraser pursed his lips for a second and started over.

"I, Benton Fraser, being of sound mind when I'm not licking electrical sockets--" He set the page down again and took a deep breath, clearly intending to argue long and loud and Ray held up a hand and commanded, "Just read it."

You could practically see the little black cloud over Fraser's head.

"I, Benton Fraser, being of sound mind when I'm not licking electrical sockets, and of excellent Mountie physique-- 'Physique' is spelled Q-U-E, Ray, do solemnly swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth in this signed confession.

"'I feel the time is right to move on, and so I am leaving the 'groovy' urban land of Chicago for the frozen tundra. I'm looking forward to new challenges in the Northwest Areas, such as polar bear wrestling--" Here, Fraser paused to compose himself before soldiering on. "Polar bear wrestling, 'sticking the rowdies in the drunk tank every Saturday night' and making snow angels. I will in no way, shape or form miss hot showers, driving around in a 'cool' car, or the ability to 'catch a flick ' and order a deepdish with my ex-partner, Ray." Ray got hit with another Big Eyed Mountie look and pretended to ignore it.

"I will not miss my ex-partner while I am in the 'arctic wasteland' I call home. I am not 'skipping town' in order to avoid my feelings for him. I do not--" He stumbled here, and cleared his throat carefully. Twice. "Love him even a little, and I think a nice postcard will cheer him up when I am back in the 'stupid', 'frosty' country of Canada."

Ray held out the pen, his own face flaming, but Fraser wouldn't take it.

"Go on, sign it."

"I can't, Ray."

"How come?" Ray told himself to chill, and he was rock steady, he was solid, he was almost home-free.

Fraser stood up and swiped the confession off the table. He hesitated a moment and then his chin firmed up, and he looked resolute.

"Because it isn't true, Ray. You know it's not."

"So if it's not true, why are you leaving?"

Fraser sat down again, his mouth soft and miserable.

"I don't know. I do miss it, and yet, when I think of leaving--"

Ray edged his way around the table, and hunkered down next to Fraser's chair, one hand on Fraser's knee for balance.

"So don't go. If it's not true, then stay here. 'Cause you gotta know..." And Ray couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't some combination of needy and psycho, so instead he just looked up at Fraser, beaming his own version of the Big Eyed Mountie look right back at the man himself.

"I would miss you," Fraser said softly, finally. "I would miss you terribly. At this point, I can't imagine a day without you-- Ray." And that was Fraser's big warm hand, right there, right on top of his, and Fraser was looking right at him, his eyes doing all the talking now, and Ray took a moment to think, "Shake, bad guys, shake!" with a certain smug satisfaction, right before Fraser bent to kiss him.

END

[identity profile] resonant8.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Aww! This was gorgeous!

I can't believe I've never seen Ray use his interrogation expertise on Fraser before.

I'd cave.

[identity profile] ajinamoto.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
You should be pleased. This is really something. I agree with Resonant, I'd cave under Ray's interrogation technique too. I like the postcard bit, and Ray's version of the Big Eyed Mountie look.
ext_3579: I'm still not watching supernatural. (evidently gay)

[identity profile] the-star-fish.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh! Oh!

::melts into a little puddle::

So glad I refreshed my friends-page before calling it a night... thank you!

[identity profile] tinriddick.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow! This ... This is GOOD!!! Love it all, sorry too many spots to point out only a few. Just do it again sometime O.K?!?

[identity profile] cesperanza.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy god. I'm so glad you're writing DS. My god. SO much to love, it's note perfect, but if I had to choose a line for a sig--and I do!!--it's this:

"I do not--" He stumbled here, and cleared his throat carefully. Twice. "Love him even a little, and I think a nice postcard will cheer him up when I am back in the 'stupid', 'frosty' country of Canada."

Stupid. Frosty. Country. Ces falls at your feet!

[identity profile] shyday.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
heehee... ray called shenanigans? thems fightin' words.

this was hilarious. thanks.

[identity profile] dirty-diana.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
"Shake, bad guys, shake!"

I'm on the floor laughing. I love Ray. Excellent.
(deleted comment)
ext_3548: (not shy)

[identity profile] shayheyred.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm on the floor, too, and it's not because this is funny --which it is-- but because it's so deeply wonderful. Fraser spelling "physique" mid-note, Ray being both bad cop and good cop and basically manhandling Fraser's brain so he can't waffle, Fraser's inevitable confession.

All of it. Great. Beautiful.

[identity profile] ozsaur.livejournal.com 2003-06-21 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I love how Ray writes the confession in his own words and doesn't even try to make it sound like Fraser. "Groovy urban land of Chicago" made me laugh out loud. Wonderful!

[identity profile] amadyce.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. There was nothing I didn't love about this story. It just didn't falter at all. Fraser having to speak with Ray's words was priceless. And how he balked at the polar bear wrestling. Wonderful! And the end was perfect. Just their actions and words speaking for themselves. Oh, you got it just right.

[identity profile] marycrawford.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
...and I think a nice postcard will cheer him up...

Ha. Ray knows how to twist the knife, doesn't he?

And how to interrogate. Oh. My.

Mary, lovin' this challenge
ext_12411: (Default)

[identity profile] theodosia.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
All that they said, plus the use of "quotes" to emphasize words, I bet Fraser pronounced them, too. A lovely read.
ext_12460: acquired from fanpop.com (Default)

[identity profile] akite.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
Yep, yep, what they all said, and a wonderful story comment from me. I'd elaborate but I just woke up.

[identity profile] bethbethbeth.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
'I'm looking forward to new challenges'," Ray mimicked, and crossed his arms against his chest. "That's bullshit. I call shenanigans, Fraser."

You go, my tough guy, Ray!

I love this, hon. Really love this. Perfect voices (well, except for the fact that the letter is all Ray's voice of course, and no more Fraser's than Ray's undercover-Vecchio is anything like RayV *g*).

Shake, bad guys, shake! indeed. :)
ext_12411: (Default)

[identity profile] theodosia.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
Reading this over again, I love it a whole lot, with like, extra '!!!!!'!
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] tobyfan.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice. I do so love Snarky-Aggressive Ray. *g*
ext_8892: (Cal smoke)

[identity profile] beledibabe.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
Taggging along with everyone else in the 'fantastic,' 'excellent' praise department! Vivid images, perfect for the characters, and you make wonderful use of little bits of business: the pen clicks, Fraser trying not to straighten the edge of the paper, all that made this such a rich story.

My fav line?

Fraser treated Dief the way Ray's older brother David had treated Ray. But with less punching.

LOL!
ext_11908: (Default)

Too good.....

[identity profile] daughtershade.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
This was excellent. I agree about all the nice detail touches. It's wonderful that you can add such strong detail in a short piece without slowing down the pace at all. Well done.

Oh, and my favorite bit?

By the time he got back with the Bic ballpoint, Fraser was seated and staring at the paper as if he could see through it with X-Ray vision, right down to the neighbor's below, where they must have had a roomful of caribou to keep Fraser that interested.

Fraser and his caribou! LOL! That was great.

[identity profile] imkalena.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
Waving his hands, Ray drowned out Fraser's complaining. "Blah blah blah, you're stallin' and that's all I hear.

This is priceless! *giggle* Thanks for the pick-me-up.:-)

[identity profile] maubast.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 08:17 am (UTC)(link)
Just totally brilliant. Way too much that I loved to point them all out!

Whew!

[identity profile] dementia-12.livejournal.com 2003-06-22 01:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Whew, I love hard-ass Ray!! ^_^ Spectacular job!

[identity profile] rowanfairchild.livejournal.com 2003-06-23 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, this was super. Great idea, perfect tone. And I can *so* see Ray resorting to procedural technique to get answers from his man. :-)

[identity profile] brooklinegirl.livejournal.com 2003-06-24 07:40 am (UTC)(link)
Mmm, so very sweet! I love this, love Ray pinning Fraser down (um, figuratively, that is) and getting him to admit the *whole* truth. This was my favorite:

"I will not miss my ex-partner while I am in the 'arctic wasteland' I call home. I am not 'skipping town' in order to avoid my feelings for him. I do not--" He stumbled here, and cleared his throat carefully. Twice. "Love him even a little, and I think a nice postcard will cheer him up when I am back in the 'stupid', 'frosty' country of Canada."

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