ds_flashfiction | Broken challenge by slidellra

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Broken challenge by slidellra

Of the "somebody had to do it" variety. <100 words in which, um, seven or eight things are broken. F/K, PG.

omphale23 looked at an earlier version of this for me.

A kiss, utterly unexpected, overwhelmingly soft and rough and real and now and...

"Shit, oh shit. Sorry--I didn't mean--I won't. I swear, Fraser."

Fraser's previous record from desk to office door was 2.3 seconds, and that time a child's life had been at stake.

The sound Ray made when Fraser caught him, and, happier, those he made later.

Fraser's left bootlace wouldn't give, wouldn't.

The vase blocked the window, and the window was Dief's exit.

The cot was on its last legs anyway. The desk chair was something of a surprise.

*

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The desk chair was something of a surprise.

I'll bet it was. *g*

Chairs can be very surprising. *happy thoughts about broken chairs*

Dude. Distilled essence. It's like poetry. :-)

I second this. BRILLIANT!

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slidellra.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 13:41 (UTC) - Expand

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slidellra.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 13:40 (UTC) - Expand

Hee! :)

Wonderful icon!

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slidellra.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 13:42 (UTC) - Expand

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slidellra.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 13:42 (UTC) - Expand

and that time a child's life had been at stake.

Don't beat yourself up about it, Fraser! We'd all beat a land-speed record in that situation!

Love this. &hearts

OH YES. Good point. *beats Fraser to the door*

Thank you!

The vase blocked the window, and the window was Dief's exit.
Heh, poor vase.

I love how much this conveys with very few words.
*glomps you*

Hee! Yay! I'm glad it worked for you. *glomps back*

Oh, that's wonderful! As

malnpudl said, it's like poetry. Or like a series of really vivid photographs. Ahem. I particularly love the way Fraser breaks his own record.

I LIKE really vivid photographs of these two. *wants*

Thanks, hon! Am thrilled it worked for you.

I've had a hellish day and this made me feel quite significantly better. Thank you! :)

Oh, man. This comment made my day. Thank you!

*kicks hellish days*

*ogles Ray and Fraser*

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rosiespark.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 17:23 (UTC) - Expand

I still like it, and I'm happy about the way that the pov is clear in this version.

Fraser's left bootlace wouldn't give, wouldn't.

I love this line to distraction. *g*

Awesome. Thanks for the beta type action.

Poor, frustrated Fraser and his unbridled lust. *licks*

Brilliant!

Thank you! *dances*

This is great! :) So much in so few words.

I'm so happy it worked for you! *is happy*

The cot was on its last legs anyway. The desk chair was something of a surprise.

Ha! *loves muchly*

Hooray! Happy thoughts, right? *ponders other furniture these two could break*

♥

The desk chair was something of a surprise.

*flails* LOVE. I feel so much love for this. :D

YAY! Thanks, hon. That makes me so very happy.

Fraser's previous record from desk to office door was 2.3 seconds,

I can so see him lunging over the top of the desk and tackling Ray before he can get the door open.

And Dief fleeing the scene. *snort*

Wry and funny, and oddly - but definitely - romantic. Fabulous! ;D

Greased lightening, he is. Fraser Goes After His Man, in supersonic speed.

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slidellra.livejournal.com - 2007-09-05 13:54 (UTC) - Expand

This is so much distilled excellence. Like you've taken a whole story and boiled it down to the essential points. Much, much love. <3

*g* Kind of like Cliff's notes fic. Glad you enjoyed!

Hee! Your icon. I love that manip. ♥

Snickers. The chair line made me spew my Dr. Pepper on my screen. Very wonderfully done!

Mmmm...Dr. Pepper. Yum.

Thank you!

Word perfect.

*hearts you*

*dances a graceful yet enthusiastic dance of glee*

Thank you, darling!

Excellent

I'm so happy you liked it! *beams*

I. Really, really, really love this.

*wins*

Thank you!

MARVELOUS.

::marvels::

*curtseys*

*molests your icon*

I really like the way you made me WORK for this one. I had to picture each thing, freeze frame, and then break it. Very cool. Like a Chinese action film.

Oh, what a fantastic description. I was kind of scared of veering into cynical, "yeah, yeah, yeah," they break stuff and have sex, writing-by-rote territory? So it was fun to mix it up and play with the moments. Glad it worked for you!

♥

Yay! Very cleverly constructed framework. Lots of lovely space for our imaginations to play with.

*beams* I like our my! my! my! imaginations to have room to play. Am thrilled you like it!

i don't know HOW you do it, but i see EACH of these things crystal-clearly as if they were described in massive detail. way to distill the characters down and use what we know about them to convey SO MUCH. cuteness!

\o/

I kind of thought people would think this was either tired/done or incomprehensible. YAY for it working!

*twirls you 'round and 'round*

and the window was Dief's exit.

*snort* The vase never stood a chance.

Nope, it really didn't. And now I'm thinking that's a terribly weak point, because why on Earth would a vase be in Dief's window route? Madness. I blame Turnbull.

Awesome. Made of win. At first I didn't get it, and then I read it again and things fell into place - to perfectly simple. Kissing fics are my favourite...

*will never not be hopelessly distracted by that icon*

Yay! Glad it fell into place, and you enjoyed it. Thanks!

You are utterly brilliant :)

Don't be silly. I'm just gorgeous and talented and smarter than average. Not brilliant for goodness sakes.

Hi!

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