Clichee challenge...

[lmondegreen.livejournal.com]

Well, this one's been sort of stagnating on my hard drive for ages, and I thought it might fit the 'cliche' topic. It's certainly silly and mindless... and involves closet sex...

Any misrepresentations about the lifestyle portrayed herein are due entirely to my lack of knowledge about such things.



Ray Kowalski stared in horror at his boss, hoping that he'd misheard the man's orders. The amused glint in Lt. Welsh's eyes let him know otherwise. He also knew there was no way he could get himself out of this particular situation, short of gross insubordination. Which, at the moment, was beginning to look more and more appealing.

He made one last attempt at salvation: "C'mon, Lieu, I just solved that haunted house case over on Mill street. It's the duck brothers' turn to get the weird one."

Welsh, of course, would not be moved. "Don't make me say this again, Vecchio. This case is gonna take a lot of undercover work. You're our undercover expert. Besides, I don't want to even think about Jack or Dewey in a place like that." A shudder passed through the older man.

Ray thought about it. "You know, if you sent Dewey in there we could make a fortune. Just think how much he'd pay for just the negatives?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Detective. But you hear this: you get your butt over there right now, or you lose your badge. Your choice."

Ray glowered at him. "Not like I'll have any place to put it anyway," he muttered as he turned away. When he got to the door, though, a sudden thought struck him. "Nobody's gotta know about this, right?"

"Out, Vecchio."

"Lieutenant?"

Welsh sighed. "I'll be your outside contact. No one else has to know anything. Now, scram!"

Ray felt a wave of relief wash over him as he scrammed.

*****************

Constable Benton Fraser hung up the phone with a frown. He heard a low whine from behind him, and turned to look at his wolf.

"Yes, that was Lieutenant Welsh. And no, he still hasn't received any word from Ray."

It had been three days since he had last seen his partner, and one day since Welsh had first voiced his concerns to the Mountie. Apparently, Ray had been delinquent in reporting back to his superior, and enough time had elapsed that Welsh had begun to worry for his detective's safety. He'd called Fraser in the hopes that Ray might have been in touch with him. He hadn't, though, and now Fraser was as worried as the Lieutenant. Worried enough to...

Well, he would do whatever it took to help Ray.

"And you can wipe that smirk off your face," he told Dief firmly. "You're coming with me."

*****************

Fraser walked into the main lobby of the resort lodge with as much dignity and poise as he could muster. Given the fact that neither he - nor anyone else - in the room was wearing any clothing, that was woefully little dignity and poise indeed. Keeping his eyes front and centre, he made his way across the room to the information desk, from behind which a young woman was eyeing him rather too speculatively.

Her tone, though, was blessedly businesslike as she asked, "May I help you?"

"Ah, yes, thank you. I'm... Well, I'm looking for a... Actually, what I mean to say is... I'd like a breast." He winced. "That is - I mean, I like to keep *abreast* of current events in the n... in the naturalist community that you... well that I, too, of course, being one myself - it's a very free and open part of one's daily life - though, of course, I don't - I couldn't at work - the Sam Browne would chafe terribly - that is..." He trailed off helplessly, aware of nothing but his discomfort at being surrounded by a room full of naked people, and his sudden peevish resentment of Lieutenant Welsh for having sent Ray undercover at - of all places - a nudist resort, without proper backup. Backup that did *not* include Fraser without clothes in a public place.

He took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts into some semblance of coherence, when he felt a firm hand take hold of his right bicep. "S'okay, Mary. He's with me."

Fraser turned in shock to face Ray's puzzled but grim face. Without a word, his partner tugged him through a nearby doorway, down a - thankfully - deserted hall, until Fraser found himself being propelled into what could only be described as a broom closet.

As the door slid shut behind them, Ray turned Fraser to face him, still gripping his arm. "What the *hell* are you doing here, Fraser?"

Fraser tried his best not to dwell on the fact that he was naked in a dark closet with an equally nude Ray Kowalski. A very fetching, nude Ray Kowalski. A very angry, nude Ray Kowalski.

"I was looking for you, Ray," he explained, after banishing some very brief but intense images from his mind. "When you failed to report, the Lieutenant became worried."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been able to get a message out - the phones are all tapped, and if you think I got anyplace to hide a cell on me..."

Fraser was glad that the darkness hid his blush. "I think I understand," he said. "Though you might-" A sudden bark from the corridor caught their attention. "Someone's coming!"

"Shit!"

Fraser suddenly found himself with an armful of... nude Ray Kowalski. "Ray!" he began, but Ray's lips covered his, muffling his (half-hearted) protest and giving him much more important things to focus on than the possibility of being discovered. Like the way Ray's tongue was tangling with his own; the spiky softness of Ray's hair between Fraser's fingers; the slightly furry thigh that was inching its way between his own. Fraser was vaguely aware of the footsteps in the hall, which paused for a moment as a voice said, "nice doggy," then continued on their way. Then he returned his full attention to rubbing against Ray in much the same manner as Ray was rubbing against him. Then there was a long moment filled with much rubbing and some thrusting and quite a bit of moaning and, at last, sighing.

With a last kiss, Ray pulled away from Fraser, managing somehow to find some sort of cloth in the dark closet, which he then used to clean himself and Fraser. "Um, sorry about that, Fraser. Got a bit carried away."

"Not at all, Ray," Fraser assured him. Pressing his ear to the door, Fraser verified that the corridor was now empty of everyone except Dief, who gave them a sharp look as they exited the closet. Fraser ignored him, turning instead to Ray and asking for more details about his mission.

This was promising to be a very interesting case indeed...