Mmmm, this is good. Love concussed, yet focused, Ray. I think this is a hell of a sentence: He looked around, squinting the world back to single.
And this: Soft furry voice, pretty blurry face, warm worried eyes. It was almost enough to make his head stop hurting.
I love the understatedness of this story. Hell, we all know they love each other; I think the challenge is to put it in as subtext (something that I just cannot do!). And the ending, oh, the ending: Pure. Fucking. Genius. Made me laugh out loud, and I could hear Ray's voice saying it. Lovely.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2003-09-13 02:54 pm (UTC)And this: Soft furry voice, pretty blurry face, warm worried eyes. It was almost enough to make his head stop hurting.
I love the understatedness of this story. Hell, we all know they love each other; I think the challenge is to put it in as subtext (something that I just cannot do!). And the ending, oh, the ending: Pure. Fucking. Genius. Made me laugh out loud, and I could hear Ray's voice saying it. Lovely.