Door Challenge

[akite.livejournal.com]

Thanks to heuradys for looking this over for me and for giving me permission to play with Kiki. ::g:: Warning: This might squick some of you. I hope not, but please look behind the tag with your sense of humor in place.

Tall Ships, Iron Men

"It started when I was at the 27th District station house on the occasion when you and Constable Fraser were missing. You remember, don't you? The gold, the pirates, tall ships...anyway, I took a well-deserved break from dialing the telephone to visit the men's room. I opened the door to the lavatory to find Lieutenant Welsh at the urinals.

"I confess I've always been something of a - I believe the vernacular term is - size queen. Only the strictest discipline kept me from squealing in a manner most unbecoming to a member of the RCMP. I've been told that my squeal is rather like 'a fangirl at an N'Sync concert'. However, that's neither here nor there. The point I'm trying to make is that I was delightfully surprised at the formidable size of the weapon that Lt. Welsh wielded.

"The lieutenant didn't seem alarmed at my reaction. In fact, he smiled at me rather knowingly and motioned me over to a stall. I stood there for just moment trying to gather myself and think of my mantra: What would Fraser do? It didn't work. While my brain was trying to process that, my body moved forward. I joined the lieutenant, closing the door behind me and sliding the latch.

"I was on my knees in a trice. All thoughts of Constable Fraser and decorum were far, far away. As I fellated the lieutenant to the best of my, may I say, considerable abilities, I became very excited. So excited that I nearly ejaculated in my jodhpurs. Only the very quick action of my free hand opening the closures and a judicious grab for my handkerchief prevented me from desecrating the uniform.

"I stand before you today, a shamed man. I have a further confession to make. That was only the first time. Since the incident in the men's room, I've had several encounters with Hardy - that's what he invited me to call him, by the way. On the Bounty after the capture of Gilbert Wallace and his crew and again at the precinct Christmas party. And this bruise on my forehead? I tripped after getting out from under his desk today and hit my head on the coat rack. What is your punishment, sir?"

He pushes himself up from the chair at my very own desk in the consulate foyer and says, "Oh, I think that can wait for later, Kiki, don't you?" As he unzips his pants.