First Leg

[umbo.livejournal.com]

Disclaimers: They're none of 'em mine. Just having fun.

Notes: A cross-over of sorts. F/K implied. Beta thanks to the_star_fish and byob_kenobi. 532 words.


First Leg

"We are so dead. Fraser, we're gonna get eliminated in the first leg--do you realize how much that sucks?"

"We're not going to be eliminated, Ray. At least, not yet."

"We are. It's gonna say, 'Ray and Fraser--'"

"Ray--"

"Or worse yet, 'Ray and Benton--'"

"Ray--"

"'Partners, last place,' on everyone's TV--"

"Ray--"

"And then Phil's going to tell us we're the last team--"

"Ray--"

"And that's it, finito, donesky, go home now--"

"Ray!"

"What?"

"I don't know why you're so concerned. Just because we didn't make the same flight as everyone else doesn't mean we won't be able to catch up now that we've landed. After all, I'm quite familiar with the city."

"Familiar? Have you ever been to Brasilia before, Fraser? Because I know I haven't."

"Well, no, not as such, but I have read about it extensively. Besides, the flight attendant was quite helpful while you were sleeping."

"I bet she was."

"Really, Ray, I don't know why you're so irritable. We're traveling around the world for free--even if we were to be eliminated, we'd still have this unique experience to enjoy and remember for the remainder of our lives. Just look around you at this beautiful city, at the sun setting over the cathedral--it's magnificent."

"Okay, yeah, it's pretty, all right? Can we please drive faster? I'd like to get to the next route marker before it's completely dark. I knew I should do the driving--didn't I say I should do all the driving?"

"Well, actually, Ray, if you read the clue, you'll see that the Teatro Nacional closed at 5. We'll have to wait until they open again at 8."

"We're camping out?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, Fraser, okay. Okay?"

"I'm just surprised."

"Well, get over it and let's find this Teatro place."

"You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?"

"I just thought--"

"Fraser, it's camping. Furthermore, it's not camping in the northwest areas, it's camping in Brazil. Why would I have a problem with that?"

"It's just--never mind."

"Fraser."

"I just thought you might be a bit bothered by some of the fauna."

"Fauna?"

"Well, we are in a tropical zone, as you observed, and, as such, the local denizens, well, I thought they might possibly disturb you."

"Local denizens? Is that Canadian for gangs?"

"Not as such, although sometimes--no, this close to the city center I shouldn't think there would be any problem--"

"Fraser, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Moths, and ants, and other insectivores, and, well, snakes."

"Snakes? Did you just say snakes?"

"We are in Brazil, Ray."

"That's it. We're finding a hotel. I don't care if it takes all of our money, we are not sleeping where some snake can drop down out of a tree and eat me."

"Ray, there is no such thing as a man-eating snake."

"Yeah, right--wasn't 'Anaconda' set in Brazil? Come on, Benton, let's find a cheap hotel and have some hot monkey sex in the jungle."

"Ray…"

"Uh, sorry, forgot about the cameraman, there. That, uh, that won't be in the broadcast, right? Right?"

END