Necking Challenge by Belladonna
Jan. 31st, 2005 07:12 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
abelladonna.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionFor the Necking Challenge.
Title: Untitled
Rating: PG
Word Count: 796, I think.
Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kimberlyfdr for beta.
---
Ben always knew that he couldn't keep up the perfect Mountie front forever, but he had thought that surely it would take something enormous to bring him down this time. But no. In the end, all it had taken to bring Benton Fraser, RCMP down this time was the back of Ray Kowalski's neck.
It was the dogsled that did it. Long hours spent behind Ray, looking down at the only skin bared to the elements; the pale base of Ray’s neck, a sliver of his face. Just he and Ray out on the expanse of ice.
Ben had grown up in these harsh conditions; he found them lovely, if dangerous. But now he was growing to hate the cold, the snow, and the ice. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that perhaps Ray's bare skin wouldn't hold such thrall over him, if he could only see just a little more of it. Ben didn't remember these feelings being so… compulsive in Chicago. He didn't remember his fingers itching under thick woolen gloves, wishing to reach out and trace the clean line of Ray's neck. Maybe that was because in Chicago, Ben had seen more of Ray's skin. Hands, throat, arms, face. Here, bundled tight, all he got a glimpse of was Ray's face, and that maddening bit of skin at the back of his neck; where the hair was cropped short and close to the skin, looking silken.
And every night, in their single tent, Ben turned away from Ray and listened to the dogs outside, pretending that he was alone. It was only way to keep himself from crawling over and wrenching Ray's sleeping bag open to see more than the top of his head.
Some mornings Ben didn't know how he resisted, didn't know how he could maintain the front for Ray. Buddies, like Ray said, that's what they were. Nothing more, and nothing less.
But that got harder and harder to remember as the days turned into weeks, time that Ben spent staring down at the back of Ray's neck. If he closed his eyes, Ben could clearly see himself leaning over and pressing his lips right there… to the prominent knob at the top of Ray's spine. Not kissing exactly, just resting his lips there, feeling the warmth of Ray's skin.
Some days Ben thought that it was a very good thing that his father hadn't shown up since the mineshaft. He didn't want his father to know this about him. To know how weak he was, how close to the breaking point a few inches of skin had brought him. He was a Mountie, and he could control himself.
And he did. Until the day he looked down, and found Ray hunched forward, looking down at his hands. His parka had dipped a little in the back, baring another inch of pale skin, and another knobby joint of his spine.
With a pained gasp, Ben broke, leaning down, and pressing his lips to Ray's warm skin.
"Frase?" Ray's voice was hoarse, and for a moment Ben froze, turning the word over in his mind, searching for any hint of rebuke. Ben knew that he could lose everything, and it would be everything. Somehow, Ray had become not the center of his world, but the thing that kept him moving. The person who kept Ben together.
Ben had always sworn to himself that he would never do this, never make another person the center of his life. He could still remember his mother and the look on her face when his father left on patrol. She'd spent nights alone in front of the fire, alternately crying and cursing Robert Fraser's name. It had terrified Ben when he realized that that was how he felt about Ray. He didn't want to be like that; subjugating himself for Ray, into Ray. And Ray was so overwhelming, so… intense, that Ben knew it was a very real fear.
But now, with the warmth of Ray's skin under his lips, and his heart trembling… Ben knew that he had to do this. He had to try.
"Fraser? What…" Now Ray sounded confused, and his hand came up, closing around Ben's elbow.
Ben pressed his lips to Ray's skin in a soft kiss, giving into his desire and sliding his tongue tip down the line of his spine to where the knobs of bone disappeared into the heavy parka.
Ray shivered, his hand unsteady as he pulled Ben around the sled until their eyes met.
"Took you long enough." Ray whispered softly, a smile curving his lips.
Ben smiled, and as Ray leaned forward to kiss him, he knew that he didn't have to pretend to be a perfect anything for Ray. Ray was happy with Ben Fraser the man.
END
Title: Untitled
Rating: PG
Word Count: 796, I think.
Thanks to
kimberlyfdr for beta.---
Ben always knew that he couldn't keep up the perfect Mountie front forever, but he had thought that surely it would take something enormous to bring him down this time. But no. In the end, all it had taken to bring Benton Fraser, RCMP down this time was the back of Ray Kowalski's neck.
It was the dogsled that did it. Long hours spent behind Ray, looking down at the only skin bared to the elements; the pale base of Ray’s neck, a sliver of his face. Just he and Ray out on the expanse of ice.
Ben had grown up in these harsh conditions; he found them lovely, if dangerous. But now he was growing to hate the cold, the snow, and the ice. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that perhaps Ray's bare skin wouldn't hold such thrall over him, if he could only see just a little more of it. Ben didn't remember these feelings being so… compulsive in Chicago. He didn't remember his fingers itching under thick woolen gloves, wishing to reach out and trace the clean line of Ray's neck. Maybe that was because in Chicago, Ben had seen more of Ray's skin. Hands, throat, arms, face. Here, bundled tight, all he got a glimpse of was Ray's face, and that maddening bit of skin at the back of his neck; where the hair was cropped short and close to the skin, looking silken.
And every night, in their single tent, Ben turned away from Ray and listened to the dogs outside, pretending that he was alone. It was only way to keep himself from crawling over and wrenching Ray's sleeping bag open to see more than the top of his head.
Some mornings Ben didn't know how he resisted, didn't know how he could maintain the front for Ray. Buddies, like Ray said, that's what they were. Nothing more, and nothing less.
But that got harder and harder to remember as the days turned into weeks, time that Ben spent staring down at the back of Ray's neck. If he closed his eyes, Ben could clearly see himself leaning over and pressing his lips right there… to the prominent knob at the top of Ray's spine. Not kissing exactly, just resting his lips there, feeling the warmth of Ray's skin.
Some days Ben thought that it was a very good thing that his father hadn't shown up since the mineshaft. He didn't want his father to know this about him. To know how weak he was, how close to the breaking point a few inches of skin had brought him. He was a Mountie, and he could control himself.
And he did. Until the day he looked down, and found Ray hunched forward, looking down at his hands. His parka had dipped a little in the back, baring another inch of pale skin, and another knobby joint of his spine.
With a pained gasp, Ben broke, leaning down, and pressing his lips to Ray's warm skin.
"Frase?" Ray's voice was hoarse, and for a moment Ben froze, turning the word over in his mind, searching for any hint of rebuke. Ben knew that he could lose everything, and it would be everything. Somehow, Ray had become not the center of his world, but the thing that kept him moving. The person who kept Ben together.
Ben had always sworn to himself that he would never do this, never make another person the center of his life. He could still remember his mother and the look on her face when his father left on patrol. She'd spent nights alone in front of the fire, alternately crying and cursing Robert Fraser's name. It had terrified Ben when he realized that that was how he felt about Ray. He didn't want to be like that; subjugating himself for Ray, into Ray. And Ray was so overwhelming, so… intense, that Ben knew it was a very real fear.
But now, with the warmth of Ray's skin under his lips, and his heart trembling… Ben knew that he had to do this. He had to try.
"Fraser? What…" Now Ray sounded confused, and his hand came up, closing around Ben's elbow.
Ben pressed his lips to Ray's skin in a soft kiss, giving into his desire and sliding his tongue tip down the line of his spine to where the knobs of bone disappeared into the heavy parka.
Ray shivered, his hand unsteady as he pulled Ben around the sled until their eyes met.
"Took you long enough." Ray whispered softly, a smile curving his lips.
Ben smiled, and as Ray leaned forward to kiss him, he knew that he didn't have to pretend to be a perfect anything for Ray. Ray was happy with Ben Fraser the man.
END
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