He hadn't even finished turning before he turned again, making it a complete circle.
Okay, that... I can see Ray doing that.
When you see a gun come into play, it's not play. It's as if it is the first gun ever drawn and could be the last one fired.
Mmmm, what a gorgeous description.
The icy fingers of hypothermia . . . ah, that's better.
Heeeee! Great last line, too.
Also, I read this earlier and had to go out before I could comment, so I saw the formatting both ways, and I wasn't confused at all by the earlier version, for what that's worth. It didn't throw me out of the story at all. I like it this way too, though. It's good; it's all good.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-31 07:51 am (UTC)He hadn't even finished turning before he turned again, making it a complete circle.
Okay, that... I can see Ray doing that.
When you see a gun come into play, it's not play. It's as if it is the first gun ever drawn and could be the last one fired.
Mmmm, what a gorgeous description.
The icy fingers of hypothermia . . . ah, that's better.
Heeeee! Great last line, too.
Also, I read this earlier and had to go out before I could comment, so I saw the formatting both ways, and I wasn't confused at all by the earlier version, for what that's worth. It didn't throw me out of the story at all. I like it this way too, though. It's good; it's all good.