That way you sort of get, hm, more substance to the story to balance out the extended metaphor. (If that makes ANY sense--forgive me, it's late and I should be in bed.) I think I get what you mean. Like having dialogue and actions to kind of be evidence of the metaphor. I think that's a really good point. Something for me to ponder. :) (Why do I have the feeling I'm going to have about 12 versions of this story floating around?) As for having more tension and everything at the end, I think I had it all in my head and I didn't translate it very well at all. Oh well. That can be for version #38.
You should absolutely do this again! I'm glad you think so because I can't seem to stop! It's a little addicting.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-02-14 06:30 pm (UTC)I think I get what you mean. Like having dialogue and actions to kind of be evidence of the metaphor. I think that's a really good point. Something for me to ponder. :) (Why do I have the feeling I'm going to have about 12 versions of this story floating around?) As for having more tension and everything at the end, I think I had it all in my head and I didn't translate it very well at all. Oh well. That can be for version #38.
I'm glad you think so because I can't seem to stop! It's a little addicting.