Undercover Challenge by Aingeal
Jun. 8th, 2006 08:44 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
aingeal8c.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Camouflage
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: R/NC-17 depending on how you define graphic
Word Count: 1897
Summary: Ray Vecchio muses about differnt forms of being undercover.
Notes: Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
leda_speaks for betaing this one for me.
Camouflage
I can do undercover; it’s the one thing I’m good at. I’ve spent a lifetime perfecting it, the clothes, the attitude. It means no-one gets close and I don’t get hurt. They think I’m just a loud mouthed Detective with enough attitude to fill up the whole of Illinois and that’s okay with me. It’s better they see that than the kid who was beaten up by his father and still wonders if he’s worth anything.
No-one gets close to getting under my cover, well nobody except Fraser. That damn Mountie sees past the clothes and the attitude. I tried but from the moment he told me the dead Mountie was his father I knew I was doomed. I let my cover slip for a moment and that was enough. After that I didn’t have a hope in hell.
Fraser knows my cover, he’s able to get me to do all these weird and wacky things for him and the thing is, I enjoy it. I like being able to be myself with him. Yeah, I whine but, you know, life is never dull with Benny and I don’t need to use my cover so much any more. Just a few months after meeting him I lose the bright shirts, start dressing more like I want with the darker stuff. It’s not much and my cover is still there, it’s just less obvious.
I mean, the Ray Vecchio before he met Fraser would never even think of ending up on his butt trying to play ice hockey. That doesn’t the fit the cover at all. That’s the Ray Vecchio who would do anything for Fraser, because there’s no point keeping the cover up with him. He knows what I’m like inside. There’s not a cover I could make that he couldn’t see past. I swear it’s spooky sometimes how well he knows me.
You know, Fraser’s good at being undercover too. I’m not talking about that time we went undercover at that car dealership. I mean, that was me trying to be the old Ray Vecchio again, and you know what? I didn’t like him as much. I like being able to be myself again. Fraser acted all dumb about it but he can do undercover when he wants too. Only, he’s not pretending to be anybody. He just buries the real him right down, sometimes so far down you never see it. It’s like someone who goes undercover as a statue or something.
He says I’m good at being undercover. I’m not as good as him. He was my best friend for a year, I thought I knew him but then he runs after that train. I can still see it and it’s as if it’s not Benny running after train, it’s another guy pretending to be him. But it wasn’t, it was Fraser. It was then I knew how good Benny really was. Part of me hoped he was, pretending to run after the train but he wasn’t. That was the real Benny throwing his life away.
In the hospital he still had his cover up, only this time it was different. He’d dropped it before, he’d let me in. After Victoria, he shut me out. Ironic really, here was me as open as I had ever been and Fraser as closed up as ever. I knew it was a cover and he knew that too but neither of us was going to say that.
I always felt after that I had never really seen Benny. I had seen glimpses but Fraser had been undercover all his life, as long if not longer than me and he was damn good at it. You know the sad thing is I don’t think he even realised how undercover he was. He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t.
After Victoria I was angry at him. I was angry at myself and I wanted to make sure this time I stayed undercover but I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t be undercover when I was in love with Benny. Yeah the man who’d spent years after his divorce making sure no-one got too close, not even a woman, had fallen in love with the most annoying man on the planet, a guy who kept his feelings so far undercover I’d never know how he felt.
At least that was what I thought until he went undercover himself, as a woman. Suddenly it made sense, he might have been wearing a dress but he was still Benny, he was still the guy I was in love with, he was still my best friend. Fraser had hidden his feelings, that was him undercover, he buried his hate and lust and love, and he kept it right down because he didn’t want to get hurt. He’d been doing just what I did.
I figured it wasn’t hopeless then. I mean I’d already seen more of Fraser’s dark side than most people had. I’d seen him make a fool of himself over Victoria, I’d seen him with that morning after glow and I’d shot the guy when he was prepared to throw away his life for a woman who’d tried to destroy him.
I tried to encourage him, get him to open up more. For a long while it didn’t work. It didn’t work until we confronted the issue head on. It wasn’t until we were strapped to a bomb that the last wall finally fell and Fraser stopped being undercover. He said he’d envied me for my honesty, silly really I mean he’s the most honest guy I’ve ever met and he thinks I’m honest in my heart. I hadn’t realised how deep he’d got but he had seen past all the covers I had put up, from the attitude to the clothes to the anger.
I listened to him saying those words and I realised that this was the Benny I loved. He envied me because he could never do what I did, fully break out of that cover but in saying that he had. I knew now the reason he had seen past my cover.
Then when he realised how to defuse the bomb and his face lit up. I’d never seen that before. In the space of two minutes I'd seen Benton Fraser RCMP could envy people as much as the next human being, then show the real beauty of himself when he smiled with sheer joy.
That was when I made up my mind to tell him. Of course you can’t make a declaration of love with bullets but I could have sworn Benny was trying. I told him to stop being mushy but part of me was relieved he had been. I just wanted to wait until the time was right.
It turned out the time was right at his apartment a few hours later. I finally let go of every barrier, I told him my deepest secret and suddenly I felt like a suspect with a light shining on me, waiting for the response. Every second went so slowly. I didn’t know how slowly the time passed but one minute I was hoping that laying myself bare wasn’t the biggest mistake I had ever made and the next I knew Fraser really did feel lust, the way he was kissing me was living proof.
He was possessive and loving and perfect all at the same time. For a split second I wondered if this how he had been with Victoria, physically unguarded like this, but then I felt his erection and I realised it was just me and him, no cover, everything emotion, lust all out there for us to feast on. I pulled Benny closer, I couldn’t get close enough, and I wanted more.
It was him who started undressing me first. I could barely remember where I was, never mind what I was wearing. For now all that existed was me and him, that was my world. The feel of Benny against me and the depth of his kiss. This was us, just two men, together at last.
We stumbled to the bed, still mostly clothed. That didn’t last ling. I just ripped at my clothing, I wanted to feel Benny against me. I could feel his skin and I realised he was naked. I had been so wrapped up in everything I hadn’t noticed. I touched him and I heard him moan. I dragged his mouth to mine and we kissed again.
Every movement was mutual. I touched him and kissed him and he did the same. I realised I hadn’t actually seen his body. I broke the kiss and started into his eyes. I didn’t need to see him naked then. I’d seen all I needed to right there in those blue eyes. I had drowned and gone to heaven.
I wanted Benny to feel that so I rolled on top of him and kissed him and licked him and did thing I never thought I’d get the chance to do. We were hot and sweaty and naked and it was anything but romantic like I had planned. There was a definite smell in the air. We just two guys whose love was deep and didn’t need candles or dinner. For now all we needed was each other.
We just pushed against each other desperate to see that final part, knowing that would just shatter everything we had seen before now. There were moans and groans and Benny pulled me against him whisperings words I can’t remember now, they weren’t important, we feeling, that was all, feeling each other, feeling one.
I was straining now and so was he. We were in the last few seconds before blissful release and they seemed to last forever. I wouldn’t have minded living in them for the rest of my life. I wanted to feel this over and over and over. I was me; I was the man Benny loved.
Finally I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stay in those moments. I locked my gaze with Benny's. His eyes never left mine. I came first and then he followed. I saw the face of an angel when he came. His features were soft, so human, so unguarded. He was a mile away form that statue standing outside the consulate. He had dropped all his defences just for me and I dropped mine for him.
We slowly kissed as we came down from the high we'd experienced. I was tired, not so much physically as emotionally. Benny was too. We got up the energy to clean ourselves up a bit but then just tumbled in bed together. We pressed up right against each other and just lay there slowly drifting to sleep, legs and arms tangled together, my head on Benny’s shoulder. Perfect.
I don’t need a cover anymore, at least not when we’re together. A lot of people won’t even realise I’m Ray Vecchio, Benton Fraser’s lover. That’s the plain truth now. You might not think to look at me but that’s who I am and I don’t hide it. It’s clear for anyone to see. My other half is Benny, not the attitude nor the clothes, nor the anger. The true part of me lies in our, bed naked with my lover in the morning sun, staring into blue eyes, feeling loved and loving in return.
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: R/NC-17 depending on how you define graphic
Word Count: 1897
Summary: Ray Vecchio muses about differnt forms of being undercover.
Notes: Many thanks to
leda_speaks for betaing this one for me.Camouflage
I can do undercover; it’s the one thing I’m good at. I’ve spent a lifetime perfecting it, the clothes, the attitude. It means no-one gets close and I don’t get hurt. They think I’m just a loud mouthed Detective with enough attitude to fill up the whole of Illinois and that’s okay with me. It’s better they see that than the kid who was beaten up by his father and still wonders if he’s worth anything.
No-one gets close to getting under my cover, well nobody except Fraser. That damn Mountie sees past the clothes and the attitude. I tried but from the moment he told me the dead Mountie was his father I knew I was doomed. I let my cover slip for a moment and that was enough. After that I didn’t have a hope in hell.
Fraser knows my cover, he’s able to get me to do all these weird and wacky things for him and the thing is, I enjoy it. I like being able to be myself with him. Yeah, I whine but, you know, life is never dull with Benny and I don’t need to use my cover so much any more. Just a few months after meeting him I lose the bright shirts, start dressing more like I want with the darker stuff. It’s not much and my cover is still there, it’s just less obvious.
I mean, the Ray Vecchio before he met Fraser would never even think of ending up on his butt trying to play ice hockey. That doesn’t the fit the cover at all. That’s the Ray Vecchio who would do anything for Fraser, because there’s no point keeping the cover up with him. He knows what I’m like inside. There’s not a cover I could make that he couldn’t see past. I swear it’s spooky sometimes how well he knows me.
You know, Fraser’s good at being undercover too. I’m not talking about that time we went undercover at that car dealership. I mean, that was me trying to be the old Ray Vecchio again, and you know what? I didn’t like him as much. I like being able to be myself again. Fraser acted all dumb about it but he can do undercover when he wants too. Only, he’s not pretending to be anybody. He just buries the real him right down, sometimes so far down you never see it. It’s like someone who goes undercover as a statue or something.
He says I’m good at being undercover. I’m not as good as him. He was my best friend for a year, I thought I knew him but then he runs after that train. I can still see it and it’s as if it’s not Benny running after train, it’s another guy pretending to be him. But it wasn’t, it was Fraser. It was then I knew how good Benny really was. Part of me hoped he was, pretending to run after the train but he wasn’t. That was the real Benny throwing his life away.
In the hospital he still had his cover up, only this time it was different. He’d dropped it before, he’d let me in. After Victoria, he shut me out. Ironic really, here was me as open as I had ever been and Fraser as closed up as ever. I knew it was a cover and he knew that too but neither of us was going to say that.
I always felt after that I had never really seen Benny. I had seen glimpses but Fraser had been undercover all his life, as long if not longer than me and he was damn good at it. You know the sad thing is I don’t think he even realised how undercover he was. He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t.
After Victoria I was angry at him. I was angry at myself and I wanted to make sure this time I stayed undercover but I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t be undercover when I was in love with Benny. Yeah the man who’d spent years after his divorce making sure no-one got too close, not even a woman, had fallen in love with the most annoying man on the planet, a guy who kept his feelings so far undercover I’d never know how he felt.
At least that was what I thought until he went undercover himself, as a woman. Suddenly it made sense, he might have been wearing a dress but he was still Benny, he was still the guy I was in love with, he was still my best friend. Fraser had hidden his feelings, that was him undercover, he buried his hate and lust and love, and he kept it right down because he didn’t want to get hurt. He’d been doing just what I did.
I figured it wasn’t hopeless then. I mean I’d already seen more of Fraser’s dark side than most people had. I’d seen him make a fool of himself over Victoria, I’d seen him with that morning after glow and I’d shot the guy when he was prepared to throw away his life for a woman who’d tried to destroy him.
I tried to encourage him, get him to open up more. For a long while it didn’t work. It didn’t work until we confronted the issue head on. It wasn’t until we were strapped to a bomb that the last wall finally fell and Fraser stopped being undercover. He said he’d envied me for my honesty, silly really I mean he’s the most honest guy I’ve ever met and he thinks I’m honest in my heart. I hadn’t realised how deep he’d got but he had seen past all the covers I had put up, from the attitude to the clothes to the anger.
I listened to him saying those words and I realised that this was the Benny I loved. He envied me because he could never do what I did, fully break out of that cover but in saying that he had. I knew now the reason he had seen past my cover.
Then when he realised how to defuse the bomb and his face lit up. I’d never seen that before. In the space of two minutes I'd seen Benton Fraser RCMP could envy people as much as the next human being, then show the real beauty of himself when he smiled with sheer joy.
That was when I made up my mind to tell him. Of course you can’t make a declaration of love with bullets but I could have sworn Benny was trying. I told him to stop being mushy but part of me was relieved he had been. I just wanted to wait until the time was right.
It turned out the time was right at his apartment a few hours later. I finally let go of every barrier, I told him my deepest secret and suddenly I felt like a suspect with a light shining on me, waiting for the response. Every second went so slowly. I didn’t know how slowly the time passed but one minute I was hoping that laying myself bare wasn’t the biggest mistake I had ever made and the next I knew Fraser really did feel lust, the way he was kissing me was living proof.
He was possessive and loving and perfect all at the same time. For a split second I wondered if this how he had been with Victoria, physically unguarded like this, but then I felt his erection and I realised it was just me and him, no cover, everything emotion, lust all out there for us to feast on. I pulled Benny closer, I couldn’t get close enough, and I wanted more.
It was him who started undressing me first. I could barely remember where I was, never mind what I was wearing. For now all that existed was me and him, that was my world. The feel of Benny against me and the depth of his kiss. This was us, just two men, together at last.
We stumbled to the bed, still mostly clothed. That didn’t last ling. I just ripped at my clothing, I wanted to feel Benny against me. I could feel his skin and I realised he was naked. I had been so wrapped up in everything I hadn’t noticed. I touched him and I heard him moan. I dragged his mouth to mine and we kissed again.
Every movement was mutual. I touched him and kissed him and he did the same. I realised I hadn’t actually seen his body. I broke the kiss and started into his eyes. I didn’t need to see him naked then. I’d seen all I needed to right there in those blue eyes. I had drowned and gone to heaven.
I wanted Benny to feel that so I rolled on top of him and kissed him and licked him and did thing I never thought I’d get the chance to do. We were hot and sweaty and naked and it was anything but romantic like I had planned. There was a definite smell in the air. We just two guys whose love was deep and didn’t need candles or dinner. For now all we needed was each other.
We just pushed against each other desperate to see that final part, knowing that would just shatter everything we had seen before now. There were moans and groans and Benny pulled me against him whisperings words I can’t remember now, they weren’t important, we feeling, that was all, feeling each other, feeling one.
I was straining now and so was he. We were in the last few seconds before blissful release and they seemed to last forever. I wouldn’t have minded living in them for the rest of my life. I wanted to feel this over and over and over. I was me; I was the man Benny loved.
Finally I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stay in those moments. I locked my gaze with Benny's. His eyes never left mine. I came first and then he followed. I saw the face of an angel when he came. His features were soft, so human, so unguarded. He was a mile away form that statue standing outside the consulate. He had dropped all his defences just for me and I dropped mine for him.
We slowly kissed as we came down from the high we'd experienced. I was tired, not so much physically as emotionally. Benny was too. We got up the energy to clean ourselves up a bit but then just tumbled in bed together. We pressed up right against each other and just lay there slowly drifting to sleep, legs and arms tangled together, my head on Benny’s shoulder. Perfect.
I don’t need a cover anymore, at least not when we’re together. A lot of people won’t even realise I’m Ray Vecchio, Benton Fraser’s lover. That’s the plain truth now. You might not think to look at me but that’s who I am and I don’t hide it. It’s clear for anyone to see. My other half is Benny, not the attitude nor the clothes, nor the anger. The true part of me lies in our, bed naked with my lover in the morning sun, staring into blue eyes, feeling loved and loving in return.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 08:14 am (UTC)Rather different from a lot of yours insofar as it's completely sans dialogue (and I know how you like dialogue *g*). But it doesn't need dialogue, as you express everything so wonderfully - as always.
I could really hear Ray's voice and as I read it I was sitting here nodding in full agreement with everything you said about undercover and having a cover, etc. I love how you dealt with the brightly coloured shirts, etc.
I tried but from the moment he told me the dead Mountie was his father I knew I was doomed. I let my cover slip for a moment and that was enough. After that I didn’t have a hope in hell.
Yep. This pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it? And is so very true. He was indeed 'doomed'.
A great offering.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 05:30 pm (UTC)Thank you very much.
Rather different from a lot of yours insofar as it's completely sans dialogue (and I know how you like dialogue *g*). But it doesn't need dialogue, as you express everything so wonderfully - as always.
Yeah bit of a departure for me in terms of no dialogue. A successful experiment though, which is good.
I could really hear Ray's voice and as I read it I was sitting here nodding in full agreement with everything you said about undercover and having a cover, etc. I love how you dealt with the brightly coloured shirts, etc.
Thank you I'm glad I got the voice right. I always thought there was a reason for those shirts ;-)
Yep. This pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it? And is so very true. He was indeed 'doomed'.
Yep he was but doomed in a good way of course ;-)
A great offering.
Thank you and thanks for commenting.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-09 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-09 03:27 pm (UTC)Thank you.
You "got" RayV's voice perfectly. Reading your story makes me want to watch RWoB again. Thanks so much for writing and posting!
Thank you. Glad you found it inspiring. I'm also glad I pulled off Ray's voice. :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-10 02:42 am (UTC)Besides I like very romantic nc-17 F/V story;)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-10 05:08 pm (UTC)Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
Besides I like very romantic nc-17 F/V story;)
Me too :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-10 05:11 pm (UTC)Thank you. It seemed to fit the challenge.
It's perfect, because the two of them really are hiding so much of themselves from everyone. And together they're finally safe. Lovely.
:-) I do love that about them, trying to figure them out.
Thanks for beta-ing this.