Cheating Challenge by Aingeal
Aug. 11th, 2006 08:16 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
aingeal8c.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Simple Question, Complicated Answer
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Word Count: 1717
Rating: PG
Summary: Following Red, White or Blue Fraser and Ray come to some realisations.
Author's Notes: Sadly not betaed to get it in under the deadline so all mistakes are my own fault. ETA: Huge, huge thanks to the lovely![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lozenger8 who went ahead and did a quick beta for me without me asking/pestering. *showers Loz with pizza and doughnuts*
Simple Question, Complicated Answer
Ray Vecchio felt all was right with the world. Here he was sitting in Fraser’s apartment, having a coffee and chatting like the old friends they were. The latest Bolt incident had made both men realise how important their friendship was.
“You know, Benny, that whole thing helped us out,” Ray said, smiling at his friend.
“As it helped us understand the je ne sais quoi of our friendship?”
“Yeah that’s it.”
“It was satisfying to work together like that.”
“We work well together, Fraser.”
“We do, Ray. Perhaps I should tell you that more often.” Fraser got up to take their mugs over to the sink.
“As long as you don’t start waving your arms around at me.”
“Ray?”
“Come on Benny, we’re having a talk, man to man, and since you avoided the question earlier, what was that semaphore thing about? You got a thing for the dragon lady?”
Fraser paused in his washing up. “Well, I did kiss her, Ray.”
“You kissed her?!” Ray finally said when he could speak again, not being used to such personal revelations coming in such an offhand way from the Mountie. Of course, earlier he’d accused the Mountie of being mushy, perhaps Fraser felt more open with him since their argument.
“Yes, Ray, I kissed her.”
“More than once?”
“No, the earlier incident with Bolt on the train was the only time,” Fraser’s tone was somewhat wistful.
“You kissed her in the middle of a crisis?” Ray wondered if Fraser did anything by halves.
“It wasn’t ideal, Ray that’s true.”
“Your stetson…” The pieces seemed to fit now.
“It did erm…suffer slightly, Ray.”
“Do you want to do it again?”
“I’m not hostile to the idea, no, Ray.”
“You cheating on me again, Benny?” Ray joked. It was just a joke, the kind best friends shared.
Fraser’s reply, however, was nothing but sincere, “I would never cheat on you, Ray.”
Ray felt thrown off a bit. “What?”
Fraser cleared his throat and busied himself drying the mugs. “I said; I would never cheat on you, Ray.”
“What do you mean, Fraser? If we were… together… you wouldn’t cheat on me?”
“No, Ray.”
Ray frowned. “No, you would?”
“I wouldn’t, Ray.”
“What about Victoria? I mean, before she came along we were...” Ray trailed off for a moment. “Getting close.” Ray’s mind was filled with images of the couple of occasions where they had crossed the line of friendship.
“I suppose in that sense, I did cheat on you, but at the time I couldn’t even entertain the thought you were in love with me.”
“What, you think it was all about the sex?” It had been good sex, Ray admitted. It had been wonderful sex but neither man had said, ‘I love you’, and Ray had always left fairly quickly, sneaking off in the dark.
“Ray, I saw you nearly throw your career away over a woman who had hit you with her car. You were ready to declare her innocent in the name of love. You never intimated to me that I meant that much to you.” Fraser sat back down opposite his friend.
“I never told you, ‘I love you’,” Ray murmured wondering how they had got to this point. Perhaps it had been that argument; perhaps it had been the catalyst.
“No, Ray,” Fraser had glanced down at the table.
“Was that why you? Victoria…?”
“Perhaps, Ray,” Fraser met his eyes. “For ten years I created an image of her, an image of a woman I fell in love with. When Victoria appeared, I had convinced myself she was that image, and that love was there for me. I knew deep down you loved me, Ray, but I didn’t think it was enough, that you loved me out of sympathy or you agreed to the slightly romantic and sexual aspects that developed between us out of pity.”
“It wasn’t pity, Benny.” Though Ray had to admit he wondered sometimes if the Mountie hadn’t been pitying him. They refused to acknowledge the truth.
“I know, Ray. I suppose I knew when you mortgaged your house, but by then it was too late and I was so caught up with what Victoria made me feel…” Fraser kept as tight a face as possible, but there was a storm behind those blue sky coloured eyes. “She loved me, Ray. She hated me, but she loved me. I wanted that love.”
“But not mine?” Ray asked, even though he wondered if he would ever have said the words.
“I felt I didn’t deserve yours, Ray. After all I put you through, I didn’t feel I had the right to ask that of you.”
Ray swallowed hard. “I would have given it to you in a heartbeat.” If Fraser wanted it he would have given it.
“That’s what scared me, Ray; unconditional love. Afterwards, in the hospital, I could never tell you what I wanted to, that I loved you.”
“I didn’t tell you either,” Ray said his words weighted with regret.
Fraser smiled slightly. “I already knew your feelings, Ray. I knew.”
“So you let me chase after anything in a skirt?”
“I thought it would make you happy, Ray. You said you wanted a woman who baked muffins and wore shortie pyjamas.”
Fraser was right. That had been why Ray had been pleased for his friend with Victoria, at first. “I wanted you to be happy too.”
“I know, but Victoria wasn’t happiness. She was love and she was guilt and I felt I needed her but she was never happiness.”
“Awww, Benny, when it comes to women, we both got it wrong. You think Louise would bake muffins?”
“Well…”
“Or Anita Cortez? Or Suzanne? Or even Irene?” Ray threw the names out as if they simply dreams, which they were. Not even chances long gone anymore, but dreams that never really existed.
“I don’t know.”
Ray smiled slightly now. “The answer is no, Benny. I have this image in my head and it never matches up with what I go for. I like the women who challenge me, Benny, I like the spirit because I’m so busy arguing with them, it means I don’t have to notice you.”
“You notice me?” A slight blush crept into those pale cheeks.
“Benny, we slept together, of course I do. After Victoria I tried not to,” Ray had tried and failed on that score. “I shot you for goodness sake and I knew that I could love you until judgement day but you’d never love me back, not after her.”
“I was cheating on you.”
Ray shrugged. “You said it yourself, we weren’t in a relationship. It was just the odd time that was all, two friends comforting each other.”
“We were in one, Ray. We just weren’t aware of it.”
“Maybe we didn’t want to be.”
“How do you mean, Ray?”
Ray held his hands out. “Ah, come on, we’re two guys, two cops, and complete opposites.”
“We’re not opposites, Ray; we have a lot in common, it might not be obvious but we both have similar values, we both feel loyalty is important and duty…”
“Okay, to some people we’re complete opposites. The point is, Benny, maybe we were just too scared of what people would think.”
“Or maybe we were scared of love.”
“Love scared you?”
“Very much.”
“And you think I’m scared of love?” Ray asked even though he knew the answer. An ache had appeared in his heart now and he knew why.
“Why else do you go after those women, Ray?” Fraser asked. “It wasn’t just not to notice me. There’s sparring between you, there’s an edge that stops you getting too close. We both pick unattainable women, Ray. I picked Victoria and Inspector Thatcher and neither has meant happiness. You picked Miss St Laurent because your careers would not allow a relationship, you picked Agent Chapin because you knew you’d never see her again, you picked Agent Cortez because she was going back to Mexico.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m afraid of love with you,” Ray mumbled.
“You know, Ray, my father used to say that of all the emotions in life it’s love that hurts the most but it also gives a great amount of joy. It’s a risk, Ray.”
“Yeah, it’s a risk we screw up our friendship, it’s a risk people find out, it’s a risk finding out we can’t be together,” Ray took a deep breath and plunged in. “But you know what? It’s risky being a cop, it’s risky working with you, that’s for sure, it’s a risk to get into a car, it’s a risk to taste Francesca’s cooking…”
“Ray!”
Ray sobered up and spoke from his heart. “I would risk my life for you, Benny.”
“I know, Ray, the feeling’s mutual.”
Ray squirmed in his seat slightly. “So maybe… maybe we should risk our love because I know nothing bad would happen when we risked our lives for each other.
“We seem to beat the odds quite often.”
“So what do you think?”
“I say we take the risk, Ray.”
Ray smiled, a steady, shaky smile. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t kissed Fraser before, but this was different. As he touched his lips to his best friend’s he knew this time what line he was crossing. They weren’t just friends anymore. When Fraser deepened the kiss and Ray struggled to keep his balance, Ray knew things had changed. They had been kissing with love before but not with the knowledge of love. He grasped Fraser’s shoulders to steady himself.
Eventually though, even that was enough, and Ray had to end the kiss before he fell and dragged Fraser with him. He moved around the table so he was standing next to Fraser. As if on cue, Fraser stood up and the two shared a gentle embrace.
“So, Benny, you gonna kiss the dragon lady again?”
Fraser placed a finger on Ray’s lips. “I told you, Ray. I will never cheat on you.”
Ray smiled and Fraser took his finger away. Ray took the opportunity to bring their lips close together once more. “I’ll never cheat on you, either, Benny. Never again,” he whispered, and they shared a kiss of love and commitment.
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Word Count: 1717
Rating: PG
Summary: Following Red, White or Blue Fraser and Ray come to some realisations.
Author's Notes: Sadly not betaed to get it in under the deadline so all mistakes are my own fault. ETA: Huge, huge thanks to the lovely
lozenger8 who went ahead and did a quick beta for me without me asking/pestering. *showers Loz with pizza and doughnuts*Simple Question, Complicated Answer
Ray Vecchio felt all was right with the world. Here he was sitting in Fraser’s apartment, having a coffee and chatting like the old friends they were. The latest Bolt incident had made both men realise how important their friendship was.
“You know, Benny, that whole thing helped us out,” Ray said, smiling at his friend.
“As it helped us understand the je ne sais quoi of our friendship?”
“Yeah that’s it.”
“It was satisfying to work together like that.”
“We work well together, Fraser.”
“We do, Ray. Perhaps I should tell you that more often.” Fraser got up to take their mugs over to the sink.
“As long as you don’t start waving your arms around at me.”
“Ray?”
“Come on Benny, we’re having a talk, man to man, and since you avoided the question earlier, what was that semaphore thing about? You got a thing for the dragon lady?”
Fraser paused in his washing up. “Well, I did kiss her, Ray.”
“You kissed her?!” Ray finally said when he could speak again, not being used to such personal revelations coming in such an offhand way from the Mountie. Of course, earlier he’d accused the Mountie of being mushy, perhaps Fraser felt more open with him since their argument.
“Yes, Ray, I kissed her.”
“More than once?”
“No, the earlier incident with Bolt on the train was the only time,” Fraser’s tone was somewhat wistful.
“You kissed her in the middle of a crisis?” Ray wondered if Fraser did anything by halves.
“It wasn’t ideal, Ray that’s true.”
“Your stetson…” The pieces seemed to fit now.
“It did erm…suffer slightly, Ray.”
“Do you want to do it again?”
“I’m not hostile to the idea, no, Ray.”
“You cheating on me again, Benny?” Ray joked. It was just a joke, the kind best friends shared.
Fraser’s reply, however, was nothing but sincere, “I would never cheat on you, Ray.”
Ray felt thrown off a bit. “What?”
Fraser cleared his throat and busied himself drying the mugs. “I said; I would never cheat on you, Ray.”
“What do you mean, Fraser? If we were… together… you wouldn’t cheat on me?”
“No, Ray.”
Ray frowned. “No, you would?”
“I wouldn’t, Ray.”
“What about Victoria? I mean, before she came along we were...” Ray trailed off for a moment. “Getting close.” Ray’s mind was filled with images of the couple of occasions where they had crossed the line of friendship.
“I suppose in that sense, I did cheat on you, but at the time I couldn’t even entertain the thought you were in love with me.”
“What, you think it was all about the sex?” It had been good sex, Ray admitted. It had been wonderful sex but neither man had said, ‘I love you’, and Ray had always left fairly quickly, sneaking off in the dark.
“Ray, I saw you nearly throw your career away over a woman who had hit you with her car. You were ready to declare her innocent in the name of love. You never intimated to me that I meant that much to you.” Fraser sat back down opposite his friend.
“I never told you, ‘I love you’,” Ray murmured wondering how they had got to this point. Perhaps it had been that argument; perhaps it had been the catalyst.
“No, Ray,” Fraser had glanced down at the table.
“Was that why you? Victoria…?”
“Perhaps, Ray,” Fraser met his eyes. “For ten years I created an image of her, an image of a woman I fell in love with. When Victoria appeared, I had convinced myself she was that image, and that love was there for me. I knew deep down you loved me, Ray, but I didn’t think it was enough, that you loved me out of sympathy or you agreed to the slightly romantic and sexual aspects that developed between us out of pity.”
“It wasn’t pity, Benny.” Though Ray had to admit he wondered sometimes if the Mountie hadn’t been pitying him. They refused to acknowledge the truth.
“I know, Ray. I suppose I knew when you mortgaged your house, but by then it was too late and I was so caught up with what Victoria made me feel…” Fraser kept as tight a face as possible, but there was a storm behind those blue sky coloured eyes. “She loved me, Ray. She hated me, but she loved me. I wanted that love.”
“But not mine?” Ray asked, even though he wondered if he would ever have said the words.
“I felt I didn’t deserve yours, Ray. After all I put you through, I didn’t feel I had the right to ask that of you.”
Ray swallowed hard. “I would have given it to you in a heartbeat.” If Fraser wanted it he would have given it.
“That’s what scared me, Ray; unconditional love. Afterwards, in the hospital, I could never tell you what I wanted to, that I loved you.”
“I didn’t tell you either,” Ray said his words weighted with regret.
Fraser smiled slightly. “I already knew your feelings, Ray. I knew.”
“So you let me chase after anything in a skirt?”
“I thought it would make you happy, Ray. You said you wanted a woman who baked muffins and wore shortie pyjamas.”
Fraser was right. That had been why Ray had been pleased for his friend with Victoria, at first. “I wanted you to be happy too.”
“I know, but Victoria wasn’t happiness. She was love and she was guilt and I felt I needed her but she was never happiness.”
“Awww, Benny, when it comes to women, we both got it wrong. You think Louise would bake muffins?”
“Well…”
“Or Anita Cortez? Or Suzanne? Or even Irene?” Ray threw the names out as if they simply dreams, which they were. Not even chances long gone anymore, but dreams that never really existed.
“I don’t know.”
Ray smiled slightly now. “The answer is no, Benny. I have this image in my head and it never matches up with what I go for. I like the women who challenge me, Benny, I like the spirit because I’m so busy arguing with them, it means I don’t have to notice you.”
“You notice me?” A slight blush crept into those pale cheeks.
“Benny, we slept together, of course I do. After Victoria I tried not to,” Ray had tried and failed on that score. “I shot you for goodness sake and I knew that I could love you until judgement day but you’d never love me back, not after her.”
“I was cheating on you.”
Ray shrugged. “You said it yourself, we weren’t in a relationship. It was just the odd time that was all, two friends comforting each other.”
“We were in one, Ray. We just weren’t aware of it.”
“Maybe we didn’t want to be.”
“How do you mean, Ray?”
Ray held his hands out. “Ah, come on, we’re two guys, two cops, and complete opposites.”
“We’re not opposites, Ray; we have a lot in common, it might not be obvious but we both have similar values, we both feel loyalty is important and duty…”
“Okay, to some people we’re complete opposites. The point is, Benny, maybe we were just too scared of what people would think.”
“Or maybe we were scared of love.”
“Love scared you?”
“Very much.”
“And you think I’m scared of love?” Ray asked even though he knew the answer. An ache had appeared in his heart now and he knew why.
“Why else do you go after those women, Ray?” Fraser asked. “It wasn’t just not to notice me. There’s sparring between you, there’s an edge that stops you getting too close. We both pick unattainable women, Ray. I picked Victoria and Inspector Thatcher and neither has meant happiness. You picked Miss St Laurent because your careers would not allow a relationship, you picked Agent Chapin because you knew you’d never see her again, you picked Agent Cortez because she was going back to Mexico.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m afraid of love with you,” Ray mumbled.
“You know, Ray, my father used to say that of all the emotions in life it’s love that hurts the most but it also gives a great amount of joy. It’s a risk, Ray.”
“Yeah, it’s a risk we screw up our friendship, it’s a risk people find out, it’s a risk finding out we can’t be together,” Ray took a deep breath and plunged in. “But you know what? It’s risky being a cop, it’s risky working with you, that’s for sure, it’s a risk to get into a car, it’s a risk to taste Francesca’s cooking…”
“Ray!”
Ray sobered up and spoke from his heart. “I would risk my life for you, Benny.”
“I know, Ray, the feeling’s mutual.”
Ray squirmed in his seat slightly. “So maybe… maybe we should risk our love because I know nothing bad would happen when we risked our lives for each other.
“We seem to beat the odds quite often.”
“So what do you think?”
“I say we take the risk, Ray.”
Ray smiled, a steady, shaky smile. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t kissed Fraser before, but this was different. As he touched his lips to his best friend’s he knew this time what line he was crossing. They weren’t just friends anymore. When Fraser deepened the kiss and Ray struggled to keep his balance, Ray knew things had changed. They had been kissing with love before but not with the knowledge of love. He grasped Fraser’s shoulders to steady himself.
Eventually though, even that was enough, and Ray had to end the kiss before he fell and dragged Fraser with him. He moved around the table so he was standing next to Fraser. As if on cue, Fraser stood up and the two shared a gentle embrace.
“So, Benny, you gonna kiss the dragon lady again?”
Fraser placed a finger on Ray’s lips. “I told you, Ray. I will never cheat on you.”
Ray smiled and Fraser took his finger away. Ray took the opportunity to bring their lips close together once more. “I’ll never cheat on you, either, Benny. Never again,” he whispered, and they shared a kiss of love and commitment.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}