Time challenge, by omphale
Jun. 9th, 2007 02:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omphale posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Lights Out
Author: omphale
Pairing: F/K
Rating: R for language
Length: 700ish
Notes: You know what still works, even when the power goes out in a thunderstorm? My laptop battery. The usual thanks to [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], whose ability to mock seems strangely broken. I feel like I should write some bad!fic to fix it for her.
9:12
“Dammit. And there’s a game on tonight. This sucks.”
“I should probably return to the Consulate.”
“Nah. Stick around for a few minutes. Maybe it'll be a quick one.”
9:28
“Hey, Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Think the power’s going to be back on anytime soon?”
“Chicago is surprisingly efficient at such things.”
“Okay.”
9:47
“That's the night that they hung an innocent man—”
“Ray.”
“Don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer—”
“Ray.”
“Cause the judge in the town's got—”
“Ray!”
“What?”
“Is something wrong?”
“I’m fine, Fraser.”
“You don’t sound as if you’re fine.”
‘Well, I am. I’ve got, you know, inner resources. Stuff like that.”
“You’re making the coffee table vibrate rather alarmingly.”
“So? My inner resources involve twitching and singing. You mocking my resources?”
“Oh, no, of course not.”
10:04
“Ray!”
“I can’t help it. I’m bored.”
“You can’t rearrange the living room furniture in the dark.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, you’ve just balanced a lamp on Diefenbaker.”
“Sorry, Dief.”
10:31
“This sucks.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t start with the Canadian noises. This sucks. You know it sucks, I know it sucks, Dief the wonder-lampstand knows it sucks. S-U-X. Sucks.”
“If you say so.”
11:06
“What on earth are you doing?”
“Looking for candles.”
“Do you own candles?”
“I don’t remember buying any. But maybe some crawled in when I wasn’t looking.”
“That seems unlikely. Candles are the sort of thing one finds as part of—”
“Fraser, if you say the words ‘proper preparation’ I will not be responsible for my actions.”
“Understood.”
11:52
“How can you just sit there?”
“Should I be doing something else?”
“Yes! I mean, no, there’s nothing else to do. That’s my point. How can you just sit there and do nothing? There’s no light, there’s no noise, it’s like being in the middle of nowhere!”
“...”
“Oh.”
12:09
“Ray, is there a reason you’re sitting on…well, practically on my lap?”
“It’s too quiet.”
“And this helps you cope with the quiet?”
“I can hear you breathing from here.”
“I see.”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can hear Dief breathing, too. But his breath is not the sort of thing I find comforting. He’s got some serious digestive issues going on in there. Wolf needs a tic-tac the size of a moose. Not a good experience, Dief’s breath.”
“And mine is?”
“Yeah.”
“I see.”
“I mean, relatively speaking. You’re better than Dief, is all.”
“That’s very flattering.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
12:41
“You sure you don’t have a flashlight stuck in a pouch somewhere? Maybe under the hat?”
“Ordinarily, yes. But a combination of lake water and dry cleaning solvents have rendered it inoperable.”
“Came back as a paperweight?”
“Yes. And as replacements need to be ordered from Ottawa, I find myself without a substitute.”
“You don't have a spare?”
“Eaten by an oomingmak. A hungry one. I don't want to talk about it.”
“No need to get snotty. I was just asking.”
“I apologize. It’s just that, well, my leg’s gone to sleep.”
“Dammit. Sorry, yeah, um, I’ll just get off you…Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow.”
“Ray? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I didn’t need that shin.”
12:44
“I can't hear you from way over here.”
“Would you like me to move?”
“Either that or breathe louder.”
1:17
“Perhaps you should try a nap. I’m sure that by the time you wake, the power will be restored.”
“Not tired.”
“Or meditation. There are some exercises that are done by Tibetan monks to release—”
“I don’t need anything released. I just need—I just need something to do. It’s been, what, four goddamned hours and there’s no light and that’s driving me a little—”
“...”
“Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Did you just kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.”
“Is that…is this all right?”
“...”
“I’ll take that to mean you approve.”
“Damn straight. Got any other bright ideas?”
“I think I might have a few notions that would help to distract you, yes.”
4:51
“Ray. Ray, wake up. The power’s returned.”
“Mmph.”
“I’d better go make sure the lights are all turned off. And then Diefenbaker and I should go home to—”
“Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Get the lights, and then get your ass back in bed. It is not time to be awake yet.”
“If you say so, Ray.”
Author: omphale
Pairing: F/K
Rating: R for language
Length: 700ish
Notes: You know what still works, even when the power goes out in a thunderstorm? My laptop battery. The usual thanks to [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], whose ability to mock seems strangely broken. I feel like I should write some bad!fic to fix it for her.
9:12
“Dammit. And there’s a game on tonight. This sucks.”
“I should probably return to the Consulate.”
“Nah. Stick around for a few minutes. Maybe it'll be a quick one.”
9:28
“Hey, Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Think the power’s going to be back on anytime soon?”
“Chicago is surprisingly efficient at such things.”
“Okay.”
9:47
“That's the night that they hung an innocent man—”
“Ray.”
“Don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer—”
“Ray.”
“Cause the judge in the town's got—”
“Ray!”
“What?”
“Is something wrong?”
“I’m fine, Fraser.”
“You don’t sound as if you’re fine.”
‘Well, I am. I’ve got, you know, inner resources. Stuff like that.”
“You’re making the coffee table vibrate rather alarmingly.”
“So? My inner resources involve twitching and singing. You mocking my resources?”
“Oh, no, of course not.”
10:04
“Ray!”
“I can’t help it. I’m bored.”
“You can’t rearrange the living room furniture in the dark.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, you’ve just balanced a lamp on Diefenbaker.”
“Sorry, Dief.”
10:31
“This sucks.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t start with the Canadian noises. This sucks. You know it sucks, I know it sucks, Dief the wonder-lampstand knows it sucks. S-U-X. Sucks.”
“If you say so.”
11:06
“What on earth are you doing?”
“Looking for candles.”
“Do you own candles?”
“I don’t remember buying any. But maybe some crawled in when I wasn’t looking.”
“That seems unlikely. Candles are the sort of thing one finds as part of—”
“Fraser, if you say the words ‘proper preparation’ I will not be responsible for my actions.”
“Understood.”
11:52
“How can you just sit there?”
“Should I be doing something else?”
“Yes! I mean, no, there’s nothing else to do. That’s my point. How can you just sit there and do nothing? There’s no light, there’s no noise, it’s like being in the middle of nowhere!”
“...”
“Oh.”
12:09
“Ray, is there a reason you’re sitting on…well, practically on my lap?”
“It’s too quiet.”
“And this helps you cope with the quiet?”
“I can hear you breathing from here.”
“I see.”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can hear Dief breathing, too. But his breath is not the sort of thing I find comforting. He’s got some serious digestive issues going on in there. Wolf needs a tic-tac the size of a moose. Not a good experience, Dief’s breath.”
“And mine is?”
“Yeah.”
“I see.”
“I mean, relatively speaking. You’re better than Dief, is all.”
“That’s very flattering.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
12:41
“You sure you don’t have a flashlight stuck in a pouch somewhere? Maybe under the hat?”
“Ordinarily, yes. But a combination of lake water and dry cleaning solvents have rendered it inoperable.”
“Came back as a paperweight?”
“Yes. And as replacements need to be ordered from Ottawa, I find myself without a substitute.”
“You don't have a spare?”
“Eaten by an oomingmak. A hungry one. I don't want to talk about it.”
“No need to get snotty. I was just asking.”
“I apologize. It’s just that, well, my leg’s gone to sleep.”
“Dammit. Sorry, yeah, um, I’ll just get off you…Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow.”
“Ray? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I didn’t need that shin.”
12:44
“I can't hear you from way over here.”
“Would you like me to move?”
“Either that or breathe louder.”
1:17
“Perhaps you should try a nap. I’m sure that by the time you wake, the power will be restored.”
“Not tired.”
“Or meditation. There are some exercises that are done by Tibetan monks to release—”
“I don’t need anything released. I just need—I just need something to do. It’s been, what, four goddamned hours and there’s no light and that’s driving me a little—”
“...”
“Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Did you just kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.”
“Is that…is this all right?”
“...”
“I’ll take that to mean you approve.”
“Damn straight. Got any other bright ideas?”
“I think I might have a few notions that would help to distract you, yes.”
4:51
“Ray. Ray, wake up. The power’s returned.”
“Mmph.”
“I’d better go make sure the lights are all turned off. And then Diefenbaker and I should go home to—”
“Fraser?”
“Yes?”
“Get the lights, and then get your ass back in bed. It is not time to be awake yet.”
“If you say so, Ray.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 06:50 pm (UTC)“[...]There’s no light, there’s no noise, it’s like being in the middle of nowhere!”
“...”
“Oh.”
Hee hee hee! Oh, Ray.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 10:15 pm (UTC)Also, much love for Dief the wonder-lampstand!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 10:32 pm (UTC)“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, you’ve just balanced a lamp on Diefenbaker.”
HEEEEE! This is hilarious! :-D
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:02 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:03 am (UTC)I am multifacted, I am. *nods*
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:05 am (UTC)Glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:07 am (UTC)(Also, it's quite difficult to work Dief into a dialogue-only fic. I had no idea. *g*)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 03:26 am (UTC)(lots of gleeful laughter)
“So? My inner resources involve twitching and singing. They do, at that! That's our Ray!
“You can’t rearrange the living room furniture in the dark.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, you’ve just balanced a lamp on Diefenbaker.”
Bwahahahaha! *spits decaf on screen* *mops up*
“Don’t start with the Canadian noises. This sucks. You know it sucks, I know it sucks, Dief the wonder-lampstand knows it sucks. S-U-X. Sucks.”
So Ray! And yay for Dief the wonder-lampstand and for Fraser's creative solution to Ray's boredom. Three cheers!
“What on earth are you doing?”
“Looking for candles.”
“Do you own candles?”
“I don’t remember buying any. But maybe some crawled in when I wasn’t looking.”
Yay! Ray gets his wish for them to be like two of the three stooges; they're a perfect comedy duet. *is still laughing*
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 07:06 am (UTC)“That’s very flattering.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
the way you nailed their voices.. if i didn't know better, i'd suspect you of kidnapping the guys straight from canon or bugging Ray's apartment..
wheee! thanks for sharing this :D
see, his little sister don't miss when she aims her gun
Date: 2007-06-10 07:12 am (UTC)RAY IS SINGING A VICKI LAWRENCE SONG. THIS SO SHOULD HAVE BEEN PART OF CANON. YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
and y'know, that song could be vidded so well by a talented vidding person
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 12:45 pm (UTC)