ds_flashfiction | Five challenge by slidellra (Reply)

Five ways Ray Vecchio was disconcerted by Ray Kowalski.

For

catwalksalone, for the prompt "disconcerting."
R, ~800 words, Ray/Ray.

zabira and

isiscolo both came through with quick, thoughtful, critical, immensely helpful beta work. They rock.

It wasn't like Vecchio had never seen a pretty guy before; he'd seen plenty, and plenty prettier than Kowalski. He'd seen tough guys and queer guys and guys who could dance and guys who thought they could box. Kowalski wasn't the only grown man to duck his head like a kid whenever anybody said something halfway nice to him, and he sure as hell wasn't the only one faster with his fists than his brains.

Guys with pretty mouths and ways of sitting with their thighs all spread, one hand tapping a knee, like a billboard saying look at what I got? Seen them, too.

But something about the whole Kowalski package knocked him to the side, knocked the breath right out of him and the feeling back into him. He'd had enough knocks, though, and so had Kowalski. So thanks, but no thanks.

Kowalski knew the word "disconcert," and could use it correctly in a sentence. He wasn't even wearing his glasses at the time, and Ray blinked and thought Fraser, and then felt like shit. Because Kowalski was smart enough and a good cop, and Fraser's shadow was long enough without the other guy in the shade making it bigger.

Kowalski and Fraser talked on the phone every couple of weeks, as far as Ray could tell, and Kowalski's fridge had a photo of them stuck on with tape, and there weren't any hard feelings anywhere. When Dewey and Frannie and Ray and random perps off the street got to missing Fraser and retold the classic Wolf and Mountie and Dumb American Cop stories, Kowalski'd just nod and work his cases and fill in the forgotten bits, like living in memory lane wasn't a big deal for him.

But it was, it had to be, because Fraser was up there and Kowalski was down here. And Kowalski--Kowalski, who growled and snapped his teeth at suspects and partner alike; Kowalski, who would beat himself bloody against a brick wall if he thought it looked at him wrong--just nodded and held the phone with careful fingers and told Fraser in this gentle voice that he was fine, and then he kept his word, being fine. Like being straight with Fraser, taking care of Fraser was more important than anything else, like he never missed the piece of his inside that had gotten scooped out and thrown away, like he'd never needed it in the first place. Like Fraser was welcome to it, and thanks for the memories.

Not only did Kowalski make the first move, which maybe Ray should have seen coming, but the way he played it was almost smooth, which no way in hell did he expect. Kowalski sucked at trying to be seductive, always played it too hot or too cool or said the wrong thing and ended up looking like an ass. But maybe he was learning, because he seduced Ray slow and casual, just the usual recreational arguments bleeding into after-work hours, then more and more nights when he wanted to be with Kowalski more than he wanted to be anywhere else. Until one night when Ray sprawled bone-tired on the couch and put off going home, and Kowalski leaned into his personal space and looked at his cheek down by his jawline and said, like it was nothing, like it didn't cost to be the brave one, like his voice wasn't shaking, that if Ray wanted to...

Ray did.

It wasn't just the sex, though that was part of it. He did get a little disconcerted by just how much he liked a dick other than his own. How much he liked it in his mouth or up his ass, that he would get itchy-horny and think I need to get fucked and it would be true.

That's a lot to adjust to for anybody. But, more than that, it was the whole package again. Kowalski in the morning, Kowalski at night, Kowalski to yell at and lean against and take care of when he got so tense it seemed like he'd crack down the middle. That shook Ray down to the ground and back up again. Because life with Kowalski was easy, it was natural; dick and fighting and love like breathing, and the only thing that shook him more than Kowalski was knowing how hard he'd break if he lost him.

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