Finally...

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

I broke the block I was having with this challenge. I had apparently been focusing on the wrong threesome...
Somewhat inspired by murielperun's response to this week's challenge...210 words.


He’s pushing into her, hot and slick, as humid as a summer day on the gulf. He’s got her bent over the sink in the bathroom, taking her from behind, not brave enough to ask for what he really wants. She cut her hair short, and there’s crisp-soft blonde hairs at the nape of her neck.

Stella’s pushing back against him, nose wrinkled momentarily at the smell of the spermicide on the condom, but she quit taking the pill years ago. Right now she doesn’t care. It’s been too long since she’s been treated this rough and she hadn’t realized how much she missed it. Her hands grip the countertop, knuckles turning white under the strain.

They’re not fucking long. They’re both too ready, too needy. Vecchio folds himself over her back, closes his eyes and grabs her shoulders to steady himself while he moves fast and shallow, instinct making him shift his angle to try and hit something he knows isn’t there until he feels her quaking under him. He lets go, shuddering over the thin back and cropped blonde hair as he comes.

“Ray.”

Stella’s head snaps up and she glares at Vecchio in the mirror. Their eyes meet as he pulls out and he knows it’s over.

Comments

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

And he knows it's over

Wheeee! I love all the indications along the way, too, Vecchio shifting his position, the "asking for what he really wants" and the "crisp blonde hairs" et al. Excellent, jen.

[murielperun.livejournal.com]

Vecchio folds himself over her back, closes his eyes and grabs her shoulders to steady himself while he moves fast and shallow, instinct making him shift his angle to try and hit something he knows isn’t there until he feels her quaking under him. He lets go, shuddering over the thin back and cropped blonde hair as he comes.

I like the dynamics of the threesome here, and the irony of Stella glaring at Vecchio in the mirror at the end, which illustrates his detachment through the whole encounter. Very nice!

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Shay!

I had a different ending line, but I ended up cutting it. It alluded to the fact that they were both fucking the other Ray, but then it didn't feel like the end and I couldn't figure out what to do after that.

BTW, I love the 'got lube' icon! It's fantastic.

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

thank you! Vecchio is definitely not there, but he's sort of trying to be there. In my mind, they've been doing this for a while and him finally saying Ray's name during sex was the last straw.

Vecchio is about to head back to Chicago and see if he can get what he really wants. *g* Who knows? That may be another entry in the challenge for me....hmmmm...

[akite.livejournal.com]

Dang, Jen. That was a powerful 210 words. Wow! I really loved that first line too: humid as a summer day on the gulf coast. Whee! I really know how that feels by living in Houston. The story was totally hot and mind blowing. :-)

[(Anonymous)]

Yum! I sure hope you decide to, er . . . flesh out this Ray/Ray pairing.*g*

Karen

[(Anonymous)]

I feel sorry for both of them. It seems like Stella is trying to be someone else and Vecchio can't pretend she isn't someone else any more. Nice way to solve the threesome challenge. --Ozsaur

Re:

[murielperun.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and Stella has been rationalizing it because she's so needy. His saying "Ray" makes it hard to ignore!

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Great stuff!

I want a sequel! :)

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

thanks! I have a friend that lives in Beaumont, so I've heard about those days!

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

LOL! Thank you. I *was* inspired to do more with them. Or is it that they were inspired to do more? *g*

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

TYK! It's strange because I tend to write dialogue and then flesh out a scene, but this visual just popped into my head so clearly.
This is definitely something that I could expand on in a larger format someday.