Date: 2008-06-23 11:32 pm (UTC)
Aww, I love this!! Wonderful, and just heartwarming. Plus you've woven in such creative turns of phrase.

“Oh, I think your turtle is very loyal, Ray.”

Hee! I love how Ray doesn't even blink at this, just keeps the conversation moving along.

Perhaps a great deal of what he’d taken for existential angst was merely low blood sugar.

Heh. It could well be. Good thing Ray was looking out for him.

Exactly what it was that Turnbull had fled from his mind as Ray licked at a stray drop of pizza sauce that had become stuck to his lip. Failing to dislodge the sauce with his tongue, he swiped at it with his thumb, then licked at his thumb. Time seemed to dilate as he stared at Ray’s mouth, and certain thoughts fell into place with the inevitability of the tumblers of a picked lock.

See, I love that moment of epiphany in a first time fic, and this one is just perfect. The brain freeze, the sensual image of Ray, time dilating, the inevitability of it, the tumblers of the picked lock. Wonderful.
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