photo challenge by wihluta

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Title: Cold
Author: wihluta
Pairing: F/K
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 389
Warnings: mentions major character death!
Notes: Many thanks to caersmane for a quick and fantastic beta!
Written for the second photo.



When Ray wakes, the room is freezing cold. He shivers and gets up, pulling the blanket tight around himself. He can't even see out the window because the glass is frosted over. He stands there for a while and stares blankly at the milky pane, waiting for nothing in particular.

Eventually he slips a hand out from underneath the blanket and presses it against the glass. It's as cold as it looks, but he doesn't pull away. He remembers doing this when he was a kid in the car, drawing faces and writing rude words which he quickly wiped out again before his mother could see them.

He doesn't have anything to write now. There's just his hand pressed against the window, and when he pulls it away the warmth of his body has melted some of the ice and he can see the sky outside. It's cloudy, with patches of blue. The promise of a good day.

He presses his cold hand against his cheek and remembers the last time Fraser touched him. His fingers had been just as cold. It had only been a fleeting touch, the tips of his fingers ghosting over Ray's cheek. Barely noticeable and yet burning Ray's skin like cold fire.

He draws in a deep breath, the cold air almost painful in his lungs. He shouldn't think about this, this isn't moving on. He promised Fraser that he wouldn't dwell. He promised Ben that he'd move on.

Live, Ben had said, and Ray had nodded and swallowed around the lump in his throat. He hadn't replied because all he could think of was I don't know how. Fraser had looked so pale amidst the white of the hospital sheets, like he was slowly fading away. Nothing like the Fraser he remembered from only months ago, radiating warmth and life amidst the white of snow.

Ray leans forward and rests his head against the glass, and the sudden coldness against his forehead pulls him back into the present. He stays like that for a moment, his breath thawing another window into the ice. The sun is rising on the horizon, the beginning of a new day. He takes a deep breath, straightens and drops the blanket onto the bed. It's time to get dressed. Time to move on.

Time to keep living.

Comments

[caersmane.livejournal.com]

I just, let me find a tissue here real quick. Okay. Because Fraser, he's so good and strong, and he makes you think he'll always be there. And then he isn't. And it's a painful blow. You manage to show us Ray's grief, but also his determination, in just a few short paragraphs. I mentioned how much I love this, right? That last line? Yeah. *hugs Ray*

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, very well done, very moving without being sentimental at all. Thanks for sharing!

[akamine_chan]

Live, Ben had said, and Ray had nodded and swallowed around the lump in his throat. He hadn't replied because all he could think of was I don't know how.

Oh, that was lovely, wih. Very nicely done. Thank you.

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

It's touching and sooooo wonderful written and *swallows once more* I like it very much. Thanks a lot for sharing. Very emotionally.

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :-)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

*hands you a tissue*

I swear I had no idea it would turn out like this when I started writing. I was going for something more cheerful and then Fraser just decided to die!

Thanks a lot for making me redo the last paragraph! I like it a lot better this way.

Ray's tough, he'll find a way. *hugs him too*

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thanks, dear! :-)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad it works for you. :-)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly! :-)

[mizface.livejournal.com]

So sad and so wonderfully written. This line just hit me:

He promised Fraser that he wouldn't dwell. He promised Ben that he'd move on.

Because the differentiation between public face vs private face with him using Fraser and Ben there just hit me hard.

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

*sobs*

Lovely.

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad this worked for you. I wasn't sure if it wasn't too vague.

Thank you for commenting! :-)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue*

Thank you!

[waltzforanight.livejournal.com]

Oh god yes, this. That line was gorgeous and heart-twisty and oh boys!

*sniffs*

[plotbunniofdoom]

Oh, that's so sad. :(

Great writing.

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

*cries*

The thing that made it hit so hard was He promised Fraser that he wouldn't dwell. He promised Ben that he'd move on. Both in front of people and when they're alone, Ben wanted this so much, I hear him saying it, asking it, over and over, pleading when in whispers.

And so Ray tries, but it's just so damn hard.

OK, I've got to go cry some more now.

[mizface.livejournal.com]

No, it was subtle, not vague. Which made it all the more powerful.

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Oh, OUCH. This is a wonderful piece of writing, and it's absolutely wrenching. You do a marvelous job setting the scene right from the first line, and I love the imagery at play here. Wonderful work. And god, it hurts!

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :-)

*offers tissue*

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. :-)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

*offers tissues and cookies*

Yeah, Fraser would have kept asking, making sure it really got through to Ray. And Ray will make it. He's on the way!

Thanks so much for commenting!

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm glad it works for you.

When I started I had no idea it would turn out so sad. I swear! Sometimes, writing is scary. :-)

[china_shop]

Owwwwwww! (*loves*)

[wihluta.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :-)