Date: 2003-06-21 03:53 pm (UTC)
The story's really good, but I kept getting distracted by the POV issues--you, my brother, really do need to get yourself some tapes. Benton Fraser wouldn't/doesn't think of himself as "Benny"--the only one who's ever called Fraser "Benny" is Ray Vecchio--but we're in Fraser's point of view, here. The Benny issue also confused me about the Ray issue--I'm assuming from the choice of "Benny" that this is RV and not RK, yes? (Ces tries to remember when Automatic for the People came out, lol! cause that could be a clue! *g*) Maybe drop another hint next timeas to which Ray you're fucking (you'll get plenty of support whichever Ray you choose, believe me! *g*)
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