(no subject)

[duesouthficrecs.livejournal.com]

Fraser found Ray in the laundry room folding sheets. "Can we talk?"
Ray looked up at him. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"
"Not here, let's go upstairs."

In their apartment, Ray sat on the couch, but Fraser paced back and forth. Ray gave him the time he needed, looking curiously at his lover.
"Ray... I..." Fraser took a deep breath then forced out what he had to say. "Ray, this is not working for me any more."
The only thing that told him Ray had heard was a subtle darkening of the man's eyes before he bowed his head.
"I love you, Ray. I'll always love you. But... I'm sorry. I'm not in love with you anymore. I like who I became when I was in love with you. The lessons you taught me were invaluable and you helped me to become a better person. But, somewhere along the way, the more we became ‘Ray and Ben', the less I found myself and... and the more I wanted to be like that, by myself." He realised he was blithering and took a moment to organize his thoughts. "You helped me learn who Ben is, Ray, and I think I need to live with him, alone, for a time. I'm sorry. I know I'm doing this badly but I've never done this before."

Ray looked up, his eyes bright, the tears threatening to spill over. "How long?"
"Long enough to admit to myself that no amount of ‘talking' could fix this."
"Just like that? No warning?"
"I have no experience in the etiquette concerning these matters, Ray. All I know is how I feel. And I respect you enough to tell you how I feel, truthfully."
"Without stringing me along. Yeah. Damn, I love you, Ben. This sucks."
"Yeah, it does. I'll... I'll be out of the apartment by this evening."
"That'd be best. Where're you gonna go?"
Fraser shrugged. "I don't know."
"Will you keep in touch?"
"I'd like to think that we could be friends again, someday."
"I'd like that too. Thanks."
Fraser furrowed his brow. "For what?"
"When... when Stella broke up with me, she broke me up. I feel shitty right now but good about me. Make sense?"
Fraser gave him a sad smile. "Yes. The opposite is true for me."
Ray shook his head. "You did fine. You broke my heart, but you did fine. Only you'd figure out how to breakup nicely. Can I give you a hug?"
"I badly need one."
"Me too."