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ds_flashfictionSo I had to write this because it was the first cliche on the list that stuck with me. I don't think it's much, but it amuses me so... 947 words (Oh, and I couldn't help the other fandom joke... hee)
It's In the Eyes
Ray was sipping a beer and watching the Discovery channel with a frown. Apparently, his partner was a worse influence than he thought. That train of thought was interrupted by someone pounding on the door. Ray got up and opened it, expecting the Mountie. After all, no one else ever came to visit him anymore. He was surprised by the tall brunette with killer blue eyes.
"Yes?" Ray asked.
The woman stared at him for a moment before speaking.
"No, I guess you wouldn’t recognize me. It was foolish of me to think so," she said matter of factly.
"I’m pretty sure I would have remembered you," Ray said giving her the once over.
She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and considering she was the exact opposite of Stella in almost every way, that was saying something. She was wearing a baggy red flannel shirt and too large jeans that were rolled up at the bottoms. Her feet were bare, and she gave the over all impression of a little girl wearing her daddy’s clothes. It was as he was looking at her feet that he noticed Diefenbaker waiting to be let in at her side.
"Dief?" he asked.
"Ray, may we come in?"
"Uh, sure," he said stepping back. Dief immediately went to his usual spot like he did every time Fraser brought him over. "Did Fraser send you here? Are you in some kind of trouble?"
Ray wondered why his partner hadn’t called. It wasn’t like Frase. He spared a moment of worry for the Canadian as he watched the woman step into the middle of the room. She seemed uncomfortable.
"And you are?" Ray asked when she still hadn’t answered his questions.
The woman turned abruptly to look him in the eyes.
"Ray, it’s me."
He gave her his patented ‘still don’t have a clue’ look.
"It’s me, Fraser," she said.
"Did Dewey put you up to this?"
"Ray, Ray, Ray, I know how this must sound, but I assure you that I am Benton Fraser."
"Uh huh."
"Don’t patronize me. If you don’t believe me, ask Diefenbaker. He saw the whole thing."
"See that’s the part I don’t get. Dewey coming up with this, sure, but talking Frase into letting Dief in on it..."
"Stanley Raymond Kowalski. You were married to Stella Kowalski, the Assistant State’s Attorney, until your divorce. Your parents, Damian and Barbara Kowalski, have recently moved back here from Arizona. They brought back the GTO which you helped your father rebuild. You have a pet turtle that you think Diefenbaker wants to eat. You..."
"Hey, hey, hey. You could have gotten any of that from Dewey."
"The first day I met you, I measured your nose, took your fingerprints, and fed you a window putty sandwich."
"Fraser could have told you that."
She sighed prettily and stood in a parade rest with her hands clasped behind her back. It was a standard Fraser pose, and Ray’s opinion of her acting went up a notch.
She took a breath and said, "After the Beth Botrelle case, when you returned to the car from talking with her, you cried. I’d hardly tell anyone that."
It wasn’t what she said, but the look in those clear blue eyes that convinced him. The body was different, but no amount of acting would make her eyes look like his.
"Frase?" he asked in a small voice.
"Yes, Ray, it’s me."
Ray marched up to her and looked down at the red shirt that reminded him of the uniform. He reached out quickly and grabbed her right breast giving it a little squeeze. He vaguely registered the lack of a bra. Fraser made a strangled noise.
"Ray! Do you mind!"
"Holy shit, Frase! You’ve got tits!"
"Most women do."
Oh, that snarky voice was definitely Fraser. Ray glanced down at the jeans.
"You mean... I mean... the boys are, um... gone?"
"Yes, Ray."
"Wow."
"Hardly the sentiment I would have chosen."
"How?"
"I was in the kitchen of the Consulate when I blacked out. I woke up like this. Diefenbaker witnessed the change and is still somewhat distraught..."
"He’s distraught! Fraser, you’re a woman! How can you be fine with this?"
"Well I don’t have much choice, Ray!" she snapped before closing her eyes and breathing deeply.
Ray put an arm around her shoulders, holding her against his side.
"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s okay," he said softly.
Fraser’s eyes opened and he gave Ray a look. At first, Ray didn’t get it until he looked down at himself comforting his partner. He quickly let go and stepped back.
"Sorry, guy reflex," he said and went over to fetch his beer. "So any reason for this that you know?"
"Well, I do have a suspicion, but you’ll think it’s silly."
"My best friend suddenly has a vagina and he thinks I’ll find it silly," Ray muttered and took a very long pull from his beer.
"There was this gypsy in the park. I assure you, I was only trying to help."
"Of course you were," Ray said finishing his beer quickly and marching towards the fridge for another.
"Well," she-Fraser continued, "there was some misunderstanding and she said something about a ‘soul curse’ not working so she’d have to make do..."
Ray drained another beer and let Fraser drone on. Part of him tried to remember what it was like to be a normal cop. The rest of him was trying to figure out what it meant when you got the hots for your suddenly transgendered partner. Mostly, he just hoped that there weren’t any pirates involved in this one.
It's In the Eyes
Ray was sipping a beer and watching the Discovery channel with a frown. Apparently, his partner was a worse influence than he thought. That train of thought was interrupted by someone pounding on the door. Ray got up and opened it, expecting the Mountie. After all, no one else ever came to visit him anymore. He was surprised by the tall brunette with killer blue eyes.
"Yes?" Ray asked.
The woman stared at him for a moment before speaking.
"No, I guess you wouldn’t recognize me. It was foolish of me to think so," she said matter of factly.
"I’m pretty sure I would have remembered you," Ray said giving her the once over.
She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and considering she was the exact opposite of Stella in almost every way, that was saying something. She was wearing a baggy red flannel shirt and too large jeans that were rolled up at the bottoms. Her feet were bare, and she gave the over all impression of a little girl wearing her daddy’s clothes. It was as he was looking at her feet that he noticed Diefenbaker waiting to be let in at her side.
"Dief?" he asked.
"Ray, may we come in?"
"Uh, sure," he said stepping back. Dief immediately went to his usual spot like he did every time Fraser brought him over. "Did Fraser send you here? Are you in some kind of trouble?"
Ray wondered why his partner hadn’t called. It wasn’t like Frase. He spared a moment of worry for the Canadian as he watched the woman step into the middle of the room. She seemed uncomfortable.
"And you are?" Ray asked when she still hadn’t answered his questions.
The woman turned abruptly to look him in the eyes.
"Ray, it’s me."
He gave her his patented ‘still don’t have a clue’ look.
"It’s me, Fraser," she said.
"Did Dewey put you up to this?"
"Ray, Ray, Ray, I know how this must sound, but I assure you that I am Benton Fraser."
"Uh huh."
"Don’t patronize me. If you don’t believe me, ask Diefenbaker. He saw the whole thing."
"See that’s the part I don’t get. Dewey coming up with this, sure, but talking Frase into letting Dief in on it..."
"Stanley Raymond Kowalski. You were married to Stella Kowalski, the Assistant State’s Attorney, until your divorce. Your parents, Damian and Barbara Kowalski, have recently moved back here from Arizona. They brought back the GTO which you helped your father rebuild. You have a pet turtle that you think Diefenbaker wants to eat. You..."
"Hey, hey, hey. You could have gotten any of that from Dewey."
"The first day I met you, I measured your nose, took your fingerprints, and fed you a window putty sandwich."
"Fraser could have told you that."
She sighed prettily and stood in a parade rest with her hands clasped behind her back. It was a standard Fraser pose, and Ray’s opinion of her acting went up a notch.
She took a breath and said, "After the Beth Botrelle case, when you returned to the car from talking with her, you cried. I’d hardly tell anyone that."
It wasn’t what she said, but the look in those clear blue eyes that convinced him. The body was different, but no amount of acting would make her eyes look like his.
"Frase?" he asked in a small voice.
"Yes, Ray, it’s me."
Ray marched up to her and looked down at the red shirt that reminded him of the uniform. He reached out quickly and grabbed her right breast giving it a little squeeze. He vaguely registered the lack of a bra. Fraser made a strangled noise.
"Ray! Do you mind!"
"Holy shit, Frase! You’ve got tits!"
"Most women do."
Oh, that snarky voice was definitely Fraser. Ray glanced down at the jeans.
"You mean... I mean... the boys are, um... gone?"
"Yes, Ray."
"Wow."
"Hardly the sentiment I would have chosen."
"How?"
"I was in the kitchen of the Consulate when I blacked out. I woke up like this. Diefenbaker witnessed the change and is still somewhat distraught..."
"He’s distraught! Fraser, you’re a woman! How can you be fine with this?"
"Well I don’t have much choice, Ray!" she snapped before closing her eyes and breathing deeply.
Ray put an arm around her shoulders, holding her against his side.
"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s okay," he said softly.
Fraser’s eyes opened and he gave Ray a look. At first, Ray didn’t get it until he looked down at himself comforting his partner. He quickly let go and stepped back.
"Sorry, guy reflex," he said and went over to fetch his beer. "So any reason for this that you know?"
"Well, I do have a suspicion, but you’ll think it’s silly."
"My best friend suddenly has a vagina and he thinks I’ll find it silly," Ray muttered and took a very long pull from his beer.
"There was this gypsy in the park. I assure you, I was only trying to help."
"Of course you were," Ray said finishing his beer quickly and marching towards the fridge for another.
"Well," she-Fraser continued, "there was some misunderstanding and she said something about a ‘soul curse’ not working so she’d have to make do..."
Ray drained another beer and let Fraser drone on. Part of him tried to remember what it was like to be a normal cop. The rest of him was trying to figure out what it meant when you got the hots for your suddenly transgendered partner. Mostly, he just hoped that there weren’t any pirates involved in this one.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 10:01 pm (UTC)Very cool! And this...
"You mean... I mean... the boys are, um... gone?"
...made me laugh, for some reason.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:51 pm (UTC)Very cool! And this...
"You mean... I mean... the boys are, um... gone?"
...made me laugh, for some reason.
Yeah, cracked myself up with that.... heh. Instant male kneejerk reaction.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:12 pm (UTC)And then, of course, the cliche of when Frase turns back, Ray runs scared and then discovers he's attracted to Frase as male...
no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:53 pm (UTC)Oh and Canadian funds will be fine. The funny colored money makes me smile.
TG Fraser
Date: 2003-07-29 10:42 pm (UTC)Re: TG Fraser
Date: 2003-07-29 11:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:57 pm (UTC)I can just see Vecchio's response when he gets back...
Vecchio: What the hell did you do to my partner Stanley?!?!
Fraser: But Ray, we made you a godfather!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:55 pm (UTC)Aww ... can't there be pirates in the sequel?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-29 11:57 pm (UTC)Hehe
Date: 2003-07-30 12:38 am (UTC)Sequel please! ^_^
Re: Hehe
Date: 2003-07-30 07:28 pm (UTC)Re: Hehe
Date: 2003-07-30 11:55 pm (UTC)Re: Hehe
Date: 2003-07-30 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 01:35 am (UTC)Where do I Paypal the money to keep you writing this? :-)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 08:45 pm (UTC)I'm feeling generous and having too much fun, keep the money. ;D
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 03:37 am (UTC)Hysterical, absolutely hysterical. Now I'm really happy I didn't read any of these before I posted, because I wouldn't have dared!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 03:39 am (UTC)Bwahaha! Oh, that's Fraser, all right!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 04:20 am (UTC)There SO should be a sequel. With pirates, even!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:28 pm (UTC)"I was in the kitchen of the Consulate when I blacked out. I woke up like this. Diefenbaker witnessed the change and is still somewhat distraught..."
More! More!