Cliche Challenge - Slash
Jul. 29th, 2003 08:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ds_flashfictionMy contribution to this week’s challenge is entitled Slash, a dialog of 851 words.
I’ve been trying to write a dialog-only story from day one, just to see if I could do it. I have not read any of the other stories submitted for the challenge - knowing that we had a set number of cliches to work with, I didn’t want to talk myself out of submitting this because someone else had already done a story based on the same cliche.
And a final note from the management. Ray’s views on a certain subject do not necessarily reflect those of the management. ::grin::
Slash
by chesamus
********
Ray, why are we locked in a closet?
As much time as you spend in closets, I figured you’d be right at home. Seriously though, this is Reyno’s idea of a secure location. He’s right, cause I’ve been trying to kick the door out for hours, and it ain’t budging.
The hinges are hung to swing in, Ray. You are otherwise unharmed?
Yeah, barely bruised. Cold though, I’m not dressed for this. I’m still in my ‘I am one high quality lay, buy me’ clothes.
Would you like my jacket?
Thanks - I can think better when I’m not freezing my -um- toes off.
Understood, Ray. You’d best sit down and wrap yourself with it - conserve your body heat.
What are ya doing here, Frase?
I ascertained your location and thought to come and extricate you from your present situation.
And that’s how you ended up here with me.
Yes, Ray.
And by any chance did you call for backup before they got the drop on you?
No, not as such, although I did send Diefenbaker for help.
Will Turnbull be at the embassy this late?
Possibly but I didn’t send him to Turnbull--
Why not?
Turnbull has a tendency to interpret most of Dief’s requests as pleas for food. Dief encourages this. I sent him instead to the 27th with orders to deliver a note to either Lt. Welsh or Detective Huey.
Great, my life now depends on a wolf with a Lassie complex. How long will it take him to get to the precinct?
Approximately 1.2 hours, assuming nothing untoward occurs to him along the way.
And Reyno’s bomb is due to go off in two, at which time we’re gonna get wasted if Dief sees a donut truck.
That is my understanding of the situation. However I have faith in the Leftenant. I also promised Dief his choice of dinner if he was successful.
I hope so - I’ve had a lot of time to think about the situation, and figured my only hope of getting out was for Mulder to show up with his alien buddies and beam me up.
I don’t consider that possibility very likely, Ray. Agent Mulder is a fictional character.
Know that, Frase, but that’s what I was thinking anyway. I get in a tight spot, and I start thinking, what would Mulder do?
I did not realize you were a fan of the X-Files.
Oh, yeah. The show is great, the writing is great, and Mulder is sex on two legs. What’s not to like? Of course, it’s a bummer it’s not on anymore, but fan fiction will keep it alive forever.
I don’t - I’m afraid I don’t know what fan fiction is.
Fan fiction is God’s gift to mankind - or at least that part of mankind who don’t have lives. Some of it sucks, yeah, but slash is better than porn.
--?
Slash, you know like the punctual mark. It’s code for hooking two characters up together, like Mulder-slash-Scully or Scully-slash-Skinner. Personally, I like Mulder-slash-Skinner best, although there is something to be said for Mulder and the Rat Bastard, cuz you know, Krycek is also sex on legs.”
I - am astonished that you find it interesting.
Interesting? I find it hot is what I find it. Like I said, some of it sucks, especially when they get too ridiculous. I mean the whole idea of aliens kidnapping Mulder and sending him back with his DNA rearranged to make him a woman - that’s just too much.
That’s also impossible, Ray. Why would they use such a plot device?
You want my theory? It’s because they know Mulder and Skinner should be together, but they are so freaked at the idea of two men loving each other they have to make Mulder a woman to make it fit.
Why that’s just - that’s just wrong! And it demonstrates a narrowness of thought I find appalling!
Um, you lost me there, Frase.
Well, think about it, Ray. If two souls are truly meant for each other, why should their outward physical manifestation determine their suitability for each other?
Again - and in English?
It shouldn’t matter what one’s gender is, if you truly love them. I must say I have never understood homophobia. It is completely counterproductive.
I agree with you on that one.
I mean really, when one considers how rare and precious love is, how can anyone claim that anything two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home to consummate that love is wrong?
So - if someone, say some guy, thought you were - well, if some guy asked you out, you might be open to that kinda thing?
Yes, if I thought the attraction was genuine and mutual.
I’ve always thought of myself as a genuine kind of guy.
Stand up, Ray.
You’re not going to take your jacket back are you? Because I’m really cold here.
You may keep the jacket as long as you wish. There simply isn’t enough room on the floor to kiss you properly.
Frase? Ben? Ben! Jesus, Ben!
Dear God, Ray!
Later...
Ben?
Yes, Ray?
You’re better than slash.
I’ve been trying to write a dialog-only story from day one, just to see if I could do it. I have not read any of the other stories submitted for the challenge - knowing that we had a set number of cliches to work with, I didn’t want to talk myself out of submitting this because someone else had already done a story based on the same cliche.
And a final note from the management. Ray’s views on a certain subject do not necessarily reflect those of the management. ::grin::
Slash
by chesamus
********
Ray, why are we locked in a closet?
As much time as you spend in closets, I figured you’d be right at home. Seriously though, this is Reyno’s idea of a secure location. He’s right, cause I’ve been trying to kick the door out for hours, and it ain’t budging.
The hinges are hung to swing in, Ray. You are otherwise unharmed?
Yeah, barely bruised. Cold though, I’m not dressed for this. I’m still in my ‘I am one high quality lay, buy me’ clothes.
Would you like my jacket?
Thanks - I can think better when I’m not freezing my -um- toes off.
Understood, Ray. You’d best sit down and wrap yourself with it - conserve your body heat.
What are ya doing here, Frase?
I ascertained your location and thought to come and extricate you from your present situation.
And that’s how you ended up here with me.
Yes, Ray.
And by any chance did you call for backup before they got the drop on you?
No, not as such, although I did send Diefenbaker for help.
Will Turnbull be at the embassy this late?
Possibly but I didn’t send him to Turnbull--
Why not?
Turnbull has a tendency to interpret most of Dief’s requests as pleas for food. Dief encourages this. I sent him instead to the 27th with orders to deliver a note to either Lt. Welsh or Detective Huey.
Great, my life now depends on a wolf with a Lassie complex. How long will it take him to get to the precinct?
Approximately 1.2 hours, assuming nothing untoward occurs to him along the way.
And Reyno’s bomb is due to go off in two, at which time we’re gonna get wasted if Dief sees a donut truck.
That is my understanding of the situation. However I have faith in the Leftenant. I also promised Dief his choice of dinner if he was successful.
I hope so - I’ve had a lot of time to think about the situation, and figured my only hope of getting out was for Mulder to show up with his alien buddies and beam me up.
I don’t consider that possibility very likely, Ray. Agent Mulder is a fictional character.
Know that, Frase, but that’s what I was thinking anyway. I get in a tight spot, and I start thinking, what would Mulder do?
I did not realize you were a fan of the X-Files.
Oh, yeah. The show is great, the writing is great, and Mulder is sex on two legs. What’s not to like? Of course, it’s a bummer it’s not on anymore, but fan fiction will keep it alive forever.
I don’t - I’m afraid I don’t know what fan fiction is.
Fan fiction is God’s gift to mankind - or at least that part of mankind who don’t have lives. Some of it sucks, yeah, but slash is better than porn.
--?
Slash, you know like the punctual mark. It’s code for hooking two characters up together, like Mulder-slash-Scully or Scully-slash-Skinner. Personally, I like Mulder-slash-Skinner best, although there is something to be said for Mulder and the Rat Bastard, cuz you know, Krycek is also sex on legs.”
I - am astonished that you find it interesting.
Interesting? I find it hot is what I find it. Like I said, some of it sucks, especially when they get too ridiculous. I mean the whole idea of aliens kidnapping Mulder and sending him back with his DNA rearranged to make him a woman - that’s just too much.
That’s also impossible, Ray. Why would they use such a plot device?
You want my theory? It’s because they know Mulder and Skinner should be together, but they are so freaked at the idea of two men loving each other they have to make Mulder a woman to make it fit.
Why that’s just - that’s just wrong! And it demonstrates a narrowness of thought I find appalling!
Um, you lost me there, Frase.
Well, think about it, Ray. If two souls are truly meant for each other, why should their outward physical manifestation determine their suitability for each other?
Again - and in English?
It shouldn’t matter what one’s gender is, if you truly love them. I must say I have never understood homophobia. It is completely counterproductive.
I agree with you on that one.
I mean really, when one considers how rare and precious love is, how can anyone claim that anything two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home to consummate that love is wrong?
So - if someone, say some guy, thought you were - well, if some guy asked you out, you might be open to that kinda thing?
Yes, if I thought the attraction was genuine and mutual.
I’ve always thought of myself as a genuine kind of guy.
Stand up, Ray.
You’re not going to take your jacket back are you? Because I’m really cold here.
You may keep the jacket as long as you wish. There simply isn’t enough room on the floor to kiss you properly.
Frase? Ben? Ben! Jesus, Ben!
Dear God, Ray!
Later...
Ben?
Yes, Ray?
You’re better than slash.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 05:34 am (UTC)Turnbull has a tendency to interpret most of Dief’s requests as pleas for food. Dief encourages this.
loved that.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 10:53 am (UTC)Bwahaha! Love that line. (Echo? What echo?)
And I don't think there can be too many closet stories, esp. in DS, where it's canon. Why, it's practically mandatory.
Mary, grinning.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 01:17 pm (UTC)Yes, Ray?
You’re better than slash.
I'd have to agree with that. The one thing better than reading about it is actually doing it. ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 03:33 pm (UTC)Loved this!
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 08:54 pm (UTC)I'm back... Excellent. I prefer dialogue myself. Well done.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 10:41 pm (UTC)I had actually thought to get the X-Files drinking game in there somewhere, but it didn't move the right way. Now that the challenge is extended, I can get to work on a story for that one.