That's just silly, Ray
Aug. 3rd, 2003 08:01 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
byob-kenobi.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionHere's another cliche, in sequel form. Spot the sci-fi homages...cliches and blatant plagiarism! Woohoo!
Ray heard a thump outside, signaling that the elevator- or whatever the fuck it was- had stopped outside his door.
It had better be the old man. I can’t take another freaking day of this.
The door slid open. Yep, it was the old man, but he was dressed as a – whafuck? A Mountie? He was hallucinating, had to be. The stress must have finally gotten to him. Then, just as improbably, Fraser strode in right behind him. “Benny!”
“Ray!”
“Boy, am I glad to see you here. What the fuck took you so long? I figured you’d have built a rocket out of a tin can and two loafers by now.”
Benny smiled, and damned if that wasn’t the best sight he’d seen in years. He knew what was coming. “Well, technically, Ray…”
“Stow it, Benny. I’m in too good of a mood. So, when do we blow this joint? You met the old man, I see. Talks as much as you do.”
“He is, in fact, my father.”
Ray stopped short. “This fruitbat is your dad? You know, Benny, odd as it may seem, that explains a lot. So that whole ‘trail of your father’s killers’ thing was a big waste of time, huh?”
Fraser looked chagrined. “Apparently so. At any rate, my father has assured me that you will be released in a few hours. In the meantime, I am here to collect a few, ah, supplies.” He blushed, and studied his boots.
“I can tell you, my freedom will not come a moment to soon. Do you see what I am wearing? A silver freakin’ jumpsuit. I can assure you that none of the Vecchio men have ever looked good in silver.”
“It’s quite fetching, Ray.”
The old man interrupted. “Now, I hate to break up this reunion, but we all must be getting back. No need to dawdle.”
“Benny, I will be seeing you again on good old terra firma. I can’t wait to feed that mutt some pastries. “
“Dief has missed you as well. Rest assured that your mother is spoiling him dreadfully in your absence.” He nodded at Ray. “I will see you, as you say, on terra firma.” He turned sharply and headed back down the hallway.
The old man smiled at him. “Well, we should be getting on, then. Are you packed?”
“Are you nuts? Packed? Is there anything I could possibly want from this place? The crappy food? Those probe things? No- never mind, we are not even going to go there. Suffice it to say that I will be wearing a chastity belt for the rest of my natural life.”
“No need to get huffy, I was just being polite.” The old man sniffed. He took out what looked to be a small flashlight. “Besides, you won’t re-“
FLASH
He woke up in a strange room, on a strange floor. There was a tall blond man pacing-dancing-pacing around the room. He looked over, startled “What? Oh. Hey.”
“Who the hell are you? Where am I?”
“I’m you. You know, temporarily.”
“That makes absolutely no sense.” He struggled with his swirling thoughts. “Wait- one more question.”
“Yeah?”
“Who am I, exactly?”
The punk sat on the bed and covered his face in his hands. “Oh, boy.”
Ray heard a thump outside, signaling that the elevator- or whatever the fuck it was- had stopped outside his door.
It had better be the old man. I can’t take another freaking day of this.
The door slid open. Yep, it was the old man, but he was dressed as a – whafuck? A Mountie? He was hallucinating, had to be. The stress must have finally gotten to him. Then, just as improbably, Fraser strode in right behind him. “Benny!”
“Ray!”
“Boy, am I glad to see you here. What the fuck took you so long? I figured you’d have built a rocket out of a tin can and two loafers by now.”
Benny smiled, and damned if that wasn’t the best sight he’d seen in years. He knew what was coming. “Well, technically, Ray…”
“Stow it, Benny. I’m in too good of a mood. So, when do we blow this joint? You met the old man, I see. Talks as much as you do.”
“He is, in fact, my father.”
Ray stopped short. “This fruitbat is your dad? You know, Benny, odd as it may seem, that explains a lot. So that whole ‘trail of your father’s killers’ thing was a big waste of time, huh?”
Fraser looked chagrined. “Apparently so. At any rate, my father has assured me that you will be released in a few hours. In the meantime, I am here to collect a few, ah, supplies.” He blushed, and studied his boots.
“I can tell you, my freedom will not come a moment to soon. Do you see what I am wearing? A silver freakin’ jumpsuit. I can assure you that none of the Vecchio men have ever looked good in silver.”
“It’s quite fetching, Ray.”
The old man interrupted. “Now, I hate to break up this reunion, but we all must be getting back. No need to dawdle.”
“Benny, I will be seeing you again on good old terra firma. I can’t wait to feed that mutt some pastries. “
“Dief has missed you as well. Rest assured that your mother is spoiling him dreadfully in your absence.” He nodded at Ray. “I will see you, as you say, on terra firma.” He turned sharply and headed back down the hallway.
The old man smiled at him. “Well, we should be getting on, then. Are you packed?”
“Are you nuts? Packed? Is there anything I could possibly want from this place? The crappy food? Those probe things? No- never mind, we are not even going to go there. Suffice it to say that I will be wearing a chastity belt for the rest of my natural life.”
“No need to get huffy, I was just being polite.” The old man sniffed. He took out what looked to be a small flashlight. “Besides, you won’t re-“
FLASH
He woke up in a strange room, on a strange floor. There was a tall blond man pacing-dancing-pacing around the room. He looked over, startled “What? Oh. Hey.”
“Who the hell are you? Where am I?”
“I’m you. You know, temporarily.”
“That makes absolutely no sense.” He struggled with his swirling thoughts. “Wait- one more question.”
“Yeah?”
“Who am I, exactly?”
The punk sat on the bed and covered his face in his hands. “Oh, boy.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-08-04 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-04 07:10 pm (UTC)*snicker* Yeah right! I knew he'd be complaining up a storm! Very funny!
Ray stopped short. “This fruitbat is your dad? You know, Benny, odd as it may seem, that explains a lot. So that whole ‘trail of your father’s killers’ thing was a big waste of time, huh?”
*snort* Too good!
no subject
Date: 2003-08-04 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-04 10:50 pm (UTC)Ray in Space
Date: 2003-08-05 10:05 am (UTC)“I’m you. You know, temporarily.”
“That makes absolutely no sense.”
Brava! It makes more sense than anything they tried to explain in BTDH. Good stuff.
Ray in Space
Date: 2003-08-05 10:07 am (UTC)“Who the hell are you? Where am I?”
“I’m you. You know, temporarily.”
“That makes absolutely no sense.”
Sure it does! It makes piles more sense than the explanation they tried to palm off on us in BDTH. Great fun.
Sorries
Date: 2003-08-05 10:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-10 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 02:21 am (UTC)