To Make a Long Story Short

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

I was experimenting with how much story I could tell in as few words as possible since I’m typing one handed at the moment. Since I don’t do haiku, this one comes in at 441 words.



After Muldoon had been nailed, after the paperwork (more than one tree died for that bastard), after the trial (which was practically biblical), after the sentencing (life in a maximum security prison in solitary without parole, which almost made up for the trees, but didn’t come close to making up for what he did to Fraser’s mom), I had spent so much time in Canada that I decided to stay.

It wasn’t a hard decision. Fraser finally drummed up the courage to tell me he loved me. My - umm - enthusiastic response to the announcement left no doubt in Fraser’s mind that the feeling was mutual (Fraser sat on his hip for a week). So really, I didn’t even consider returning to Chicago.

The decision to stay was the easy part. Passing the word to everyone in Chicago - that was gonna be hard. I had to come up with a likely cover story, ‘cause no one was going to believe that two men going on a quest that would endanger their lives in wildly bizarre ways were spending six months huddled in a tent playing dominoes.

I tried a couple out on Fraser - I thought some of them were pretty creative. Yeah, the one about the top secret mission to infiltrate a rogue band of caribou herders was pretty lame, and Fraser explained that tracking the migration routes of the rare Northern Arctic royal penguin was a task for trained naturalists, or, more likely, science fiction writers. Still, I liked the one I finally came up with. And it only took six days for me to talk Fraser into lying to our family and friends. He was disappointed, but I think he understood.

So three months of legal bullshit, one weekend of great sex, six days of convincing which also included great sex (hey, never underestimate the value of a perfectly timed blowjob - at one point I could have convinced Ben to invade London and kidnap the Queen), and I finally found myself standing in Inuvik’s post office with telephone in hand.

I think it took forever for Mom and Dad to pick up the phone. and every time the phone rang, I thought about Fraser, about how much I loved him, about how much he loved me. And I finally realized he loved me enough to lie for me, and I loved him enough not to. So When Mom got Dad on the phone, I told them I was in love, and I was staying in Canada. Yeah, it hurt when they hung up on me, but that’s OK. I’ve disappointed them before. I promised myself I’d never disappoint Ben again.

Comments

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

You've said a lot with a few words. Wonderful job!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

Thanks - and I LOVE your icon!

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I believe Lanning made it.

[ozsaur.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm impressed with how creative you can be with just one hand. ;) Nice work!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

thanks, but all the credit belongs to the nuns who told me good catholics don't write w/ their left hand. narrowmindedness has made me ambidextrous, but has not improved my typing!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

you know, there's a kinky story in that line somewhere - maybe a companion piece to sandy steiner's "helping hands" : )

[bluster.livejournal.com]

I just love this. It's so perfect, and it just sounds so much like Ray.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

thank you - i will admit to having serious doubts. thought maybe i'd trimmed it too much.

[wildmachinery.livejournal.com]

So When Mom got Dad on the phone, I told them I was in love, and I was staying in Canada. Yeah, it hurt when they hung up on me, but that’s OK. I’ve disappointed them before.

That line made me sniffle. This was great. Thanks.

-mercy

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

i was trying to make the story a phone call to welsh, but somehow it got away from me - most of my stories do...

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

warm fuzzies are good - particularly now that the temp outside has dropped below boiling. glad you liked it.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

(hey, never underestimate the value of a perfectly timed blowjob - at one point I could have convinced Ben to invade London and kidnap the Queen)

::snerk::

And the ending? *sadhappysigh* A story about lies ends with a lesson on the value of truth. Nice.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

a song from "little mary sunshine' describes forest rangers as friendly thoughtful, courteous, and kind, reverant and brave, cheerful, honest, thrifty, and obedient etc. Fraser is kinda like that, and i wanted ray to realize fraser would disregard all of it to make him happy.

that's a lot of power to have over someone...

[halimede.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant! :)

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

thank you so much!

[sihayab.livejournal.com]

It's harder to make every word count than to just ramble on until you get your point across -- and you succeeded! Brava!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

it started out as more than 3000 words - realizing i had to make it a full length novel or a drabble, i reduced it to an outline, and you know, it read pretty well that way so I left it.

i may return to this someday and make it back into an epic, but i'm glad it works as is.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Concisely and beautifully done~!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

ds_slash concentrate. just add water and you get all the dajectives and adverbs back!

[byob-kenobi.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous, as always! What a range of emotions in such a short story!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

my dad's war stories are like the expanded version - three hours of amazing stuff, then 5 minutes of summary. each summary is preceded by him leaning back in his chair, taking a deep breath, and then "well, to make a long story short..."

thanks!

[akite.livejournal.com]

I'd love to read the epic, if you ever decide to go for it, but this was nice too. I could make some kind of dirty joke about what amazing things people can do with one hand, but I'll let it pass. ;)

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

see, that's precisely what i mean - dirty joke or not, it's a story just begging to be written. I guess i'll have to do it...

[stinkybubbles.livejournal.com]

Please put the rogue band of caribou herders in your epic. I'd love to see exactly what that is.
Well done.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking these stories have to be a mix of maxwell smart and ferris bueller. writing them will probably be as fun as writing the rest of the story. Thanks!

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

Funny and poignant. Damn good for 441 words!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

thank you - some day i'll actually get down to a drabble : )

[askye.livejournal.com]

This is really great, feels a lot like the show and sounds like Ray. I like the parenthetical asides and Ray's realization at the end.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

so glad you enjoyed it. once i can type again, i'll get to work on the rest of the story.

the parenthetical asides were level 2 outline structures. all that good catholic education and i'm using it to outline man on man porn - i can hear the nuns spinning from here!