ds_flashfiction | Three Great Lies

A woman I used to work with about 15 years ago told me about the Three Great Lies of the Universe. So, a variation on some themes at 999 words.

Three Lies
by JennyB.

I remember my first job in high school, working in an auto repair shop sweeping the garage and cleaning the tools and stuff. I must’ve been fifteen years old. The old guy that ran the place, Howard, told me about the Three Classic Lies.

1) The check’s in the mail.
2) I’ll call you.
3) I won’t come in your mouth.

We all see those lies come up in our lives at least once. They might have a little twist to them, but they’re there all the same.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

1 – The Check’s In The Mail

“Ray, I thought you said you’d put them in the mail.”

I look down at the folded light blue bundle of papers sitting on my desk. One big disadvantage about me being a cop and Stella being a prosecutor is that we couldn’t get completely away from each other.

“I keep forgetting, Stell. I’m sorry.”

She leans over my desk, really close to my ear and says, “Ray, it’s over and ‘forgetting’ to sign and mail your set of divorce papers is not going to change that. You might as well just do what needs to be done and get it over with. Avoiding the inevitable is not going to stop it from happening.”

My wife stands straight again, looks at me with this sad expression on her face for a minute and then walks away. I pick up a ballpoint pen and pressing hard, sign the damn things. Fold ‘em, shove them in the self-addressed, stamped envelope provided by my lawyer and drop it in the outgoing mail tray.

Now they’re really in the mail and now she’s officially my ex-wife. Shit.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2 – I’ll Call You

I don’t even open my eyes to answer the phone. I just reach for the receiver, grab it and put it to my ear. “Yeah. What do you want?” Who the hell is calling me at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning?

“Good morning, Ray. Did I wake you?”

Of course. Who else would it be? “Fraser, of course you woke me. It’s Saturday morning.” What the hell time was it anyway?

“Oh, dear. Well, actually, Ray, it’s technically Saturday afternoon. It’s five minutes after twelve.”

Shit. Okay, well, I guess I should get my ass out of bed even if it is hungover. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Oh, no! I should apologize. I had no idea you slept so late. Last night I told you I would call and I thought it was important to make certain that I did.”

Wow. He sounds nervous. Wait a sec. Hold the freakin’ phone. “It really happened, didn’t it?”

“Yes, Ray, it did.”

“Oh, thank God.” I was afraid what I’d remembered was just a really great dream. But he really did kiss me good night when he put me to bed.

“Ray, are you all right?”

“I’m just peachy. Got a hangover the size of the lake they call Michigan, but I’m good.” Then it occurs to me that he might not be okay and that’s why he’s calling. “Are you okay, Frase?”

“I will be. Can I bring you some breakfast?”

The touch of smile I hear in his voice makes me smile, too, but then my stomach does a little flip at the thought of the pastry shop along his walk to my apartment. I can’t handle sweets when I’m hungover. “Nah. Thanks. Don’t think I could eat.”

“Oh. Well, then I’ll just….”

“But you could still come over,” I offer pretty quickly, because he’s sounding uncertain and now that I know what I remember isn’t some booze induced fantasy; I don’t want him to be uncertain. “I’ll get my sorry self into the shower so I don’t smell like a distillery when you get here and then we can go out and get greasy diner food.”

“Ernie’s has a breakfast special until two,” he informs me hopefully.

“Ernie’s it is,” I confirm. “Hey, Ben?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“Thanks for calling. I’ll see you in a few.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

3 – I Won’t Come In Your Mouth

“Why not?” I don’t get it. I’m so hungry for him, for him to let loose so I can swallow that little bit of him and he’s so hesitant about it.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes. I want you to.”

Holy fuck. I can’t believe the fire in his eyes when I take him back into my mouth and twisted my tongue over the real sensitive spot on the underside of his cock. Like he wants it really bad, but doesn’t want to inconvenience me or something. Me and the Mountie are going to have a talk about that here real soon. It is not an inconvenience for me to suck him dry, believe you me. People think he has an oral fixation. We’ve only done it a couple of times so far, but he loves to watch me suck him. I love to get him so revved up he can’t watch anymore.

He’s close. He’s making these little humming noises like he’s trying to make it last. Maybe like he’s still a little afraid of the intimacy of us.

Soon enough, though, he blindly gropes for one of my hands to anchor him. He hangs on to my left hand and squeezes hard and his hips come off the bed and suddenly he floods my mouth. Damn, I knew he’d taste good.

I wish I could’ve kept my eyes open to see him come, because as gorgeous as he is, I’d bet money he’s even more gorgeous when he comes. But even if I couldn’t see, I still felt him arch and shake and heard him groan my name.

I gentle him down before I crawl back up his body. “Told you I wanted you to.”

Ben kisses me and gives me some tongue, tasting. Then he grins drowsily. “I’ll never doubt your veracity again.”

“Good. Now go to sleep. I got lots more truths to tell after we get some rest.”