More shoes
Sep. 9th, 2003 08:24 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ds_flashfictionI have no idea where this came from. Bob Fraser needs his own sitcom.
Fraser could hear his father whistling from the closet. He tried to ignore it and concentrated on his paperwork. The whistling grew louder, accompanied by a series of particularly grating thumps. He sighed.
“Dad, is there something I can do for you?”
“Funny you should ask, son. You see, I could use-“
“Uh, Dad?”
“Yes?”
“What on Earth are you wearing?”
“The Serge, same as you. Are you all right, son? You haven’t been smoking anything strange, have you? I’ve always had my suspicions about that Yank.”
“No Dad, on your feet.”
His father looked down. “Oh, those! I bought them off some fellow. They’re quite comfortable, if somewhat inaccurate.”
Fraser decided not to ask where he could have possibly bought anything in the afterlife. He had long since given up trying to understand his father's ways.
"Well, Dad, they're not strictly uniform-"
From his office he could hear Ray calling. “Fraser! You in here? Turnbull thinks you might be in the…” He stumbled into the room. “Closet.”
Well, this was fairly awkward. “Ray, this is my, ah, father.”
“Your father. There’s gotta be some sorta logical explanation for this, right?”
“No, not as such.”
Ray nodded, as if he were expecting that. “Nice place you got here, Mr. Fraser.” He paused. “Are you wearing bunny slippers?”
“They’re rabbits, son. No need to use such an infantile term.”
“Of course. Why not, right? Frase, listen, I think I have a lead on Cabot’s men.”
“Were they in the warehouse we had inspected yesterday? I thought I had detected a trace of cooking fuel.” He turned. “Dad? Do you mind if we go?”
His father leaned back in the chair and put his feet up on a hassock Fraser hadn’t seen before. He smiled fondly at his slippers and wiggled his toes. “Justice always takes first place, son. Remember that.”
“Of course.”
He and Ray exited the closet. Ray stood there tapping foot for a minute, staring at him. “Ok, let’s go.”
“Ray, I know this must be somewhat shocking to you, but-“
“What? What is shocking? I hope you were not going to say the talking to your dead father thing, because that did not happen. It was, like, a delerium or something. Either that, or I smoked one too many joints with Joe Spanowski back in the day.”
“Ah.”
“Do not ‘ah’ me. That was before I was a cop, okay?”
“No, it’s just that my father was correct, as usual. It’s one of his less endearing traits.”
Ray stared at him another minute. “You’re a freak.”
Fraser smiled. “Understood.”
Fraser could hear his father whistling from the closet. He tried to ignore it and concentrated on his paperwork. The whistling grew louder, accompanied by a series of particularly grating thumps. He sighed.
“Dad, is there something I can do for you?”
“Funny you should ask, son. You see, I could use-“
“Uh, Dad?”
“Yes?”
“What on Earth are you wearing?”
“The Serge, same as you. Are you all right, son? You haven’t been smoking anything strange, have you? I’ve always had my suspicions about that Yank.”
“No Dad, on your feet.”
His father looked down. “Oh, those! I bought them off some fellow. They’re quite comfortable, if somewhat inaccurate.”
Fraser decided not to ask where he could have possibly bought anything in the afterlife. He had long since given up trying to understand his father's ways.
"Well, Dad, they're not strictly uniform-"
From his office he could hear Ray calling. “Fraser! You in here? Turnbull thinks you might be in the…” He stumbled into the room. “Closet.”
Well, this was fairly awkward. “Ray, this is my, ah, father.”
“Your father. There’s gotta be some sorta logical explanation for this, right?”
“No, not as such.”
Ray nodded, as if he were expecting that. “Nice place you got here, Mr. Fraser.” He paused. “Are you wearing bunny slippers?”
“They’re rabbits, son. No need to use such an infantile term.”
“Of course. Why not, right? Frase, listen, I think I have a lead on Cabot’s men.”
“Were they in the warehouse we had inspected yesterday? I thought I had detected a trace of cooking fuel.” He turned. “Dad? Do you mind if we go?”
His father leaned back in the chair and put his feet up on a hassock Fraser hadn’t seen before. He smiled fondly at his slippers and wiggled his toes. “Justice always takes first place, son. Remember that.”
“Of course.”
He and Ray exited the closet. Ray stood there tapping foot for a minute, staring at him. “Ok, let’s go.”
“Ray, I know this must be somewhat shocking to you, but-“
“What? What is shocking? I hope you were not going to say the talking to your dead father thing, because that did not happen. It was, like, a delerium or something. Either that, or I smoked one too many joints with Joe Spanowski back in the day.”
“Ah.”
“Do not ‘ah’ me. That was before I was a cop, okay?”
“No, it’s just that my father was correct, as usual. It’s one of his less endearing traits.”
Ray stared at him another minute. “You’re a freak.”
Fraser smiled. “Understood.”
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Date: 2003-09-09 12:30 pm (UTC)Rabbits, indeed. ::snigger::
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Date: 2003-09-10 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 12:52 pm (UTC)Fraser smiled. “Understood.”
Those've always been two of my favourite due South lines. They get me every time.
theirloveissopure
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Date: 2003-09-10 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 01:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 02:23 pm (UTC)Adore the bunny slippers.:)
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Date: 2003-09-09 02:32 pm (UTC)I wub Fraser, Ray, and Fraser Sr.
Thanks for the story!
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Date: 2003-09-09 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 08:43 pm (UTC)I'm in heaven. Lovely!
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Date: 2003-09-09 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 12:28 am (UTC)bunnyrabbit slippers.pour vous...
Date: 2003-09-10 04:12 am (UTC)Re: pour vous...
Date: 2003-09-10 10:45 am (UTC)Re: pour vous...
Date: 2003-09-10 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-09 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-09 03:27 pm (UTC)I'm also working on a dS epic. It's about 1/2 way done.