Shoe!

[helvirago]

Okay, technically I missed the deadline, but I figure if Ces hasn't posted it yet...

Oh dear, with this warning no one will read it. Here goes: Kowalski/Stella, Vecchio/Stella. There is no gay sex in here at ALL! I'm as appalled as the rest of you. I'd say... R rated. If that. PG-13, if your 13-year-olds are anything like I was at 13. 392 words. Created by writing until Stella was done talking to me, then ruthlessly cutting 75% of it, so if it feels disjointed that would explain it. Actually, let me know; I'm still working on the fine line between killing all your darlings and destroying the flow of a piece.



I would have exiled Ray's motorcycle boots from our closet for fear they'd shed their constant dirt on my work shoes, except they never made it to the closet; generally, he'd just toe them off and kick them into a corner. In the years we lived together, I tripped over those boots probably twenty times. I spilled my coffee, got runs in my hose, stubbed my toes -- I swear those things lurked, just waiting for me to show up. I was sure they hated me.

Ray is sitting on my side of the church, way in the back to avoid having to interact with my parents in any way, and fidgeting. He's wearing a suit, which means he's probably wearing his dancing shoes, which are probably almost identical to the ones he bought at fifteen when he decided to join my ballroom dance class.

I haven't thought about this in years, but suddenly I remember a Friday night in the early 80s, and a family party I never should have dragged Ray to. After an evening of splinter-sharp digs at Ray's clothes and accent and job, I lost my temper and slapped my cousin John as hard as I could. By the time we reached our hotel room, I was mortified, certain I had embarrassed Ray. I was preparing an apology for his no doubt wounded pride, but instead I found myself pushed against the nearest wall and devoured, finally kicking off my shoes and standing on Ray's boots to get the height to reach him. He brought me off like that, his hand down inside my underwear and my toes squeaking on his beat-up boots as I shifted and trembled and cried into his mouth and tried to retain some balance while he drove me up and over.

Ray Vecchio loves that I don't fluster easily, that I keep my cool, that I understand the value of a well-placed accessory. He's amazed and grateful that I can simultaneously dress well and laugh at his jokes, and I'm amazed and grateful that he manages to be passionately devoted to me and still wholly a separate person.

And I hope, with a sudden force that squeezes my heart inside my chest, that Ray Kowalski will find someone with unsophisticated taste in footwear who will stand up for him from the very beginning.

Comments

[sociofemme.livejournal.com]

that Ray Kowalski will find someone with unsophisticated taste in footwear who will stand up for him from the very beginning.
How can you say there's no Fraser?!

I liked this very, very much. Rather sweet; says a lot about all three (four) characters...

*swoons with love for this story*

[helvirago]

Well... admittedly, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool F/K-er romantic, so if Ray's not fucking him yet he will be soon. Just, you know, Stella doesn't know about it.

Thank you! I'm really glad something story-like survived the editing process.

[sociofemme.livejournal.com]

Oh, huh. I saw Stella with kind of a beginnings of an awareness that Fraser would be perfect for Ray...maybe not *know* exactly, but be able to look back and be like, "how could i have missed it!"

Yep, I'm also a dyed in the wool F/K-er! woo!

yay!

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Glad this one got in under the wire! (Always glad to see a nice Stella piece here.)

Re: yay!

[helvirago]

Anything to put off getting the sleep I so desperately need! Yes, I am crazy, why do you ask?

I'm glad you liked it. Now stop pulling my hair!

Re: yay!

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Would you believe that I was possessed by the spirit of an unshriven Joe Dick? ::big innocent puppy eyes::

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

All i know about Stella is from her brief appearance in COTW and fan fiction. I would only have needed to read this story to understand her, even if I still don't like her!

[helvirago]

I don't know what my deal with Stella is; maybe it's that I don't click with any of the other female characters, or maybe it's just that she's blonde. Heck, maybe it's the fact that she comes off as a bitch a lot of the time. Mostly, I think, it's the last half of "Strange Bedfellows", which is really good for human!Stella, rather than just ExWife!Stella.

But that's a hella nice thing to say! Thank you!

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Man, that last line made me tear up.

[helvirago]

Thank god! I was worried "unsophisticated footwear" was just too clunky for the sentence to have any punch behind it.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

I really love stories that manage to make Stella three-dimensional like this. Wonderful job.

(Also, you don't actually *say,* but -- if they're in church, and Ray's on Stella's "side," well, it just gave me the feeling of a wedding. And I was going to ask where Fraser was, but it's obvious he'd be Vecchio's best man. And since we all know what happens at wedding receptions, I think the hook-up isn't too far off...)

[helvirago]

Bless you! All of that was in my background thinking, and I'm so glad it made it through!

Okay, yes, I confess. It's an F/K story, really. I can't help it. I love happy endings.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

This was so very good (though I clicked with trepadition after your warning...). This is one fandom that I'm always pretty much okay with a before-they-were-in-love story, because I think Ray is such a goddamn fascinating character, and his history is just as interesting as his present (his present consisting of all the mountie-love, of course).

I love all the little glimpses of Ray here, through Stella's eyes: fidgeting in church, wearing his dancing shoes (his only "grown-up" shoes, I bet), being the butt of her families jokes, and taking Stella up against a wall, hot because she had the balls to stand up for him.

Very, very nice indeed.

[helvirago]

You know, I hate using any warnings at all (for one thing, this is an F/K story! Uh, sort of) because it gives things away, but I really appreciate them on other people's stories, so I try to be as honest as possible. Besides, what am I, Agatha Christie? "Gasp! Unsophisticated footwear! I never would have guessed!"

I'm very glad you liked it. Thank you.

[ardent-muses.livejournal.com]

Lovely, with a very powerful last sentence.

I would love to see more of this. Maybe not all 75 percent that you cut, but at least another 25 percent? *G* Not because it doesn't flow, but because it's good.

[helvirago]

I don't seem to have saved all of it. Thing is, originally I thought this was going to be very very short, and then it just kept growing! There was a paragraph about Vecchio's shoes and clothes, and the paragraph about the slapping was much longer with irrelevant crap -- I kept trying to figure out how to set it up as quickly as possible, so it went through about seven iterations. There used to be another first paragraph, in which she said he treated his dancing shoes like he treated her, and his boots like he treated himself. Mostly it was sort of background, and nothing important got said in any of it that isn't implied in the rest -- I hope. But that's always the tricky part.

Anyway, thank you! That's quite a compliment.

[helvirago]

That's what I see in them, too -- a neediness that can ruin other relationships, but which just maybe finds its perfect match in the other.

See my reply to Rowan for some of the stuff that was cut. Thinking back on it, none of it really said anything that isn't in there, so I'm glad I managed the butchering!

I had kind of a hard time, actually, with the Vecchio and Stella thing. In COTW, their attraction is played for laughs, and seems to consist mostly of being impressed by the other's worry.

And wanting to see more? Best praise there is! Thank you.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

This is outstanding work, and not disjointed at all. I'm a big fan of the "murder your darlings" theory -- less is more, especially here. I'd call this a success!

[helvirago]

So glad it worked. Thank you!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was lovely. I liked Stella here -- and I liked her understanding that maybe the things she didn't like about Ray could be different if he were with someone other than her.

[helvirago]

I am full-up with contented gratitude and out of things to say. I love that you liked it. Thank you.

(Mind you, Stella's a better person than I. I'm sure I'd be thinking, "May he find someone perfect for him... but maybe not quite as smart as me." I'm a bad person.)

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Wow. There's a lot of insight in these 392 words. Super.

[helvirago]

That's a terribly nice thing to say. Thank you!

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Oh, I really liked this too--and I think you were right to cut, because this story is so striking to me for all the things it doesn't say. It doesn't say that Ray's going to be with Fraser, or how Ray feels, fidgeting, in that church, or even exactly what Ray is feeling that day when he takes Stella up against the wall, but it gives us enough for us to be able to draw our own conclusions. Brava!

[helvirago]

Ach! Praise from the master. Thank you!

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

The way you do short points me in the right directions instead of leaving a big blank all the way around it. That's the difference between really good short and really annoying short.*g*

[helvirago]

You can't see it (because I'm wearing a mask), but I'm doing a little dance of I-did-it-right over here. That's exactly what I was going for but I didn't know if I'd gotten it. Thank you very kindly.

[ozsaur.livejournal.com]

I enjoy stories that make me like Stella. Or at least understand her better. You did both. Wonderful!

[helvirago]

Sweet! I feel kind of a bond with Stella (like you couldn't have guessed that), so it's always nice to hear I've made her accessible.

Deidre

[(Anonymous)]

Hi. Thought you might like a message from someone in the audience.

I really liked this because it's the only story I've seen dealing with Kowalski and Stella's past where Vecchio isn't thrown the scraps. Usually, Stella's going on about how much she still loves RayK and how RayV is second best. Sorry, but RayV gets my vote every time, and I think a well-dressed, mature career woman like Stella would feel she'd truly met her soul-mate with Vecchio. I think Stella out-grew RayK a LONG time ago. (The bad boy in the leather jacket loses his appeal when we get to 21!).

Re: Deidre

[helvirago]

(The bad boy in the leather jacket loses his appeal when we get to 21!).

Well... not for all of us (I just say that because I think one of my earlier flashfiction stories was largely about it not losing its appeal), but if all of us liked the same thing... we'd fight a lot more. And not have enough rice pudding to go around.

RayK's my favorite, and I am still trying to get a grip on the whole Vecchio/Stella romance (because what we saw in COTW wasn't a lot to work on), but he's a great guy. And, Orsini aside, Stella's a smart woman. If she marries Vecchio, it's because she thinks he's right for her.

Ces's Kowalski is Bleeding is the main story I think of for Vecchio-Stella, in terms of real respect for the characters and their attraction. Also, it's by Ces, so I highly recommend it.

Okay, I'm rambling. Basically, what I wanted to say was, Thank you! I like Vecchio, but I don't feel the character the way I feel Kowalski's, so I find writing him a little awkward. Which makes praise from a Vecchio fan high praise indeed! Makes me feel like I'm doing something right!

Now it just occurs to me that if you don't have a lj, you may not ever see this reply. Oh well, more effusive gratitude flung out into the ether...

Deidre

[(Anonymous)]

Hi - I did get to see this.

Apologies - didn't mean to upset all you Kowalski fans out there. I don't dislike him, and I think CKR is a great actor. Truth is, I thought the whole plot of Season 3 was highly ludicrous. Ray V going off to the Mob and someone who didn't look or act a jot like him taking his place - and no-one ever said "Hey, you're not Vecchio!"

The start of Season 3 could have said goodbye to RayV in a much better way, and then introduced RayK as his own person.

Sorry, I'm rambling now. Just wanted to say - I really liked your story.

Re: Deidre

[helvirago]

Oh, you didn't upset me! I just wanted to give my defense for adult leather-jacket-bad-boy fans. Yeah, the switch was... well, anyway.

So no, in no way upset. I like RayK and RayV but find K more compelling insofar as writing the character goes. But that's just a matter of taste (not bad or good, you understand, just... oh, heck. Peace on earth! Goodwill to all Rays!).

In any case, I highly appreciated your comment. Thank you.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

Loved this for many of the reasons others mentioned - what's not said that points us in the right direction. Am a fan of deciphering Stella and thought this was excellent, as were many of your replies to comments about the comparative Stella/RayK and Stella/RayV dynamics. Thanks.

[helvirago]

Very cool. Thank you!