Sink or Swim
Apr. 18th, 2003 02:04 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
millefiori.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionLots of watching going on here! 526 words.
It was sink or swim. That's how Ray had always thought of it, that time in a new romance when the bloom wore away and a woman started to be more like who she really was and less like what Ray wanted her to be. The bloom had lasted a long time with Stella and there were days when Ray though that perhaps the inevitable sink or swim wasn't so inevitable after all.
Then Benny blew back into town with Kowalski attached at the hip and there were statements to be made and reports to be filed and loose ends to be tied up, as well as the constant irritation of reporters hovering around the doorways, shoving and jostling as they shouted their intrusive questions. And at home it had become Ray this and Ray that, Stella's calm voice gone snide and hateful. Almost overnight his lovely Stella had become a hostile, aggressive bitch, and the only Ray on her mind was Kowalski.
And day after day he helplessly watched her watching Kowalski. Watched Benny watching her watching, too. And then one day he watched Kowalski unconsciously moving closer to Benny in the face of Stella's vitriol, consistently evading her attempts to separate them so she could speak to Kowalski alone.
And finally he understood. He should have realized sooner; it was right under his nose, and Ray shook his head at his own stupidity - some detective he was. But deep inside he knew that he hadn't wanted to know, still didn't want to know, even as the truth of it settled in his stomach like lead. Ray Vecchio was sinking like a stone.
That night he made dinner himself, curiously chill and numb as he laid out the candles, wine; a romantic dinner for two. It was a beautiful setting for yet another of Stella's bitter diatribes and this time Ray lost it, erupting in accusations of his own: You're jealous, you can't stand seeing him happy, you didn't want him, but you don't want anyone else to have him. And the worst, the one that twisted his gut with pain: How can you love me when you're still in love with him?
She denied it all, heatedly, viciously, but when her lawyerly arguments finally wound down, Ray could see her shaking, see the panic in her eyes, the desperate fear that Ray was right and then what? She stared at him, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes filling with tears.
Then what indeed.
"Hey," Ray said soothingly, stepping forward and taking her in his arms. She stiffened at first, but he persisted until she melted against him. He held her close, stroking her hair until the trembling stopped. "He'd make anybody crazy. He's a dick; everybody knows that. I don't know how Benny puts up with him."
Stella laughed, a choked sobbing sound muffled against his lapel, then after a moment she tipped her head back to look at him. "I do love you," she whispered hoarsely. "I really do."
Ray smiled, then kissed her forehead. "I love you, too."
And he started thinking maybe they were going to swim.
It was sink or swim. That's how Ray had always thought of it, that time in a new romance when the bloom wore away and a woman started to be more like who she really was and less like what Ray wanted her to be. The bloom had lasted a long time with Stella and there were days when Ray though that perhaps the inevitable sink or swim wasn't so inevitable after all.
Then Benny blew back into town with Kowalski attached at the hip and there were statements to be made and reports to be filed and loose ends to be tied up, as well as the constant irritation of reporters hovering around the doorways, shoving and jostling as they shouted their intrusive questions. And at home it had become Ray this and Ray that, Stella's calm voice gone snide and hateful. Almost overnight his lovely Stella had become a hostile, aggressive bitch, and the only Ray on her mind was Kowalski.
And day after day he helplessly watched her watching Kowalski. Watched Benny watching her watching, too. And then one day he watched Kowalski unconsciously moving closer to Benny in the face of Stella's vitriol, consistently evading her attempts to separate them so she could speak to Kowalski alone.
And finally he understood. He should have realized sooner; it was right under his nose, and Ray shook his head at his own stupidity - some detective he was. But deep inside he knew that he hadn't wanted to know, still didn't want to know, even as the truth of it settled in his stomach like lead. Ray Vecchio was sinking like a stone.
That night he made dinner himself, curiously chill and numb as he laid out the candles, wine; a romantic dinner for two. It was a beautiful setting for yet another of Stella's bitter diatribes and this time Ray lost it, erupting in accusations of his own: You're jealous, you can't stand seeing him happy, you didn't want him, but you don't want anyone else to have him. And the worst, the one that twisted his gut with pain: How can you love me when you're still in love with him?
She denied it all, heatedly, viciously, but when her lawyerly arguments finally wound down, Ray could see her shaking, see the panic in her eyes, the desperate fear that Ray was right and then what? She stared at him, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes filling with tears.
Then what indeed.
"Hey," Ray said soothingly, stepping forward and taking her in his arms. She stiffened at first, but he persisted until she melted against him. He held her close, stroking her hair until the trembling stopped. "He'd make anybody crazy. He's a dick; everybody knows that. I don't know how Benny puts up with him."
Stella laughed, a choked sobbing sound muffled against his lapel, then after a moment she tipped her head back to look at him. "I do love you," she whispered hoarsely. "I really do."
Ray smiled, then kissed her forehead. "I love you, too."
And he started thinking maybe they were going to swim.
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 12:24 pm (UTC)wow!
Date: 2003-04-18 12:25 pm (UTC)And I can so see it being true. Stella meets this new guy and tries to settle in with him. Then her ex comes back and he's different- he's strong and happy and, well, *gay*. That has to be hard. It doesn't make her a bitch, just a woman who's having to deal with a lot.
And Vecchio, he's the man to make her see & also to make her happy. I can believe this pairing in a big way.
Re: wow!
Date: 2003-04-18 12:38 pm (UTC)Ack - I keep wanting to write a damned essay here! I'll stop now and say thanks again!
no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 12:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 12:57 pm (UTC)SHAy
no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-18 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-19 06:35 pm (UTC)