(no subject)

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

[cough] So yeah. Uh. Hi. New member to the community. This is just a short [297 words] drabble I spun in my head while riding my bike [er, a bit of a non sequitur there] and so happens to be the first thing I've written in the dS fandom. F/K, if you cross your eyes and squint a bit.

Oh, and it's unbetaed cause I, ah, don't really know anyone [although I am a big fan of many of the authors in this community]. If anyone wants to rip it apart, be my guest, it would flatter me a great deal.



-so he hadn’t had it planned or anything, he’d just been laying there in the oppressing darkness, observing the ceiling and running over the day’s events when suddenly, quietly, (and rather sneakily) the thought had entered his mind. Well, to be accurate, quite a number of thoughts, but that was hardly the point. It was like coming into an unknown hallway, endless, endless, doors left and right, waiting to be opened, explored, scrutinized in minute detail. He’d hesitated, hesitated; hand on the knob, should he go? Should he stay? Should he, should he, should he…then, he jerked, like he’d been shocked with an electric pulse, twisted the handle and pushed the door open-

And he was there, there, there, breathless; it was like sledding, really, a lot like sledding, with the adrenaline rush, chemicals pumping though his body, wind whipping in his face, gasping for air, but it didn’t matter because he felt so alive, so alive, nothing mattered, not the fact he might fall at any moment, be wounded, hurt, or killed for that matter; no, god no, it didn’t matter, but then-

Then-

Then.

A strangled noise came up from the deep recess of his throat, one word, a name. And it was over, over, nothing left but blood pounding in his ears and sweat drying on his skin, making his clothes stick to him uncomfortably. He lay there, quietly, facing the ceiling but with his eyes closed, and another door, one that had gone unnoticed, swung completely open and flashes of soft gold and constant movement vividly danced upon the darkness of his eyelids. His eyes snapped open, and his body jerked, in shock. He’d never…never thought…

Cheeks burning in humiliation, he turned on to his side and curled into a fetal position.

And the door closed, gently, quietly.

Comments

[akite.livejournal.com]

Aww...poor Fraser. I wanted to yell at him, "Don't let that door close!" Welcome, Amberle.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Fraser's being sad and stubborn in my head, so ya know...

Anyhow, thanks for commenting. [grin]

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

I really do like this, even though it's more of a little nibble of an hors d'oevres than a meal. I want more - what happens after. What came before. Or I want you to tackle a longer piece. What you do with prose is lovely, evoking the senses, starting in the middle of a thought (a technique I love) and now my essential greediness is engaged and I want MORE. NOW.

Feed me!

SHAY
(er, I'm not always this demanding. Welcome!)

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you so kindly for your comments. [feels all warm and flattered and such inside] I'll try to write a longer piece, but lengthy stories are the bane of my existence so...er...it might be awhile before I work up the courage to tackle one.

[oh, and I really, really loved your 180 degrees challenge story. Heh, I thought I'd just throw that out in randomness]

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Thank you. The weird thing about it was, the "180 degrees" challenge was my suggestion, and then I couldn't think of a damn thing to write for it until virtually the last minute, and I just kinda burbled it out. I find that the less I think about stories, the better they turn out sometimes.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I totally get that. Most of the time I do my best writing when I'm just jotting stuff down that comes off the top of my head. Shows how organized a person I am, but hey, at least it works, which is all that really matters sometimes.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you muchly. And yes, Fraser, being his usual self, is stupidly stubborn and blind to how Ray wants his hot sexy body! [cough] Uh, just ignore that. But yeah, gotta write something that has them together and whatnot.

[ardent-muses.livejournal.com]

Ooh! I like this. Lyrical, and a very poetic way to narrate the action. Shay said it better but, like her, I want more. Lovely.

Welcome!

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly, for your welcome and your comments. And will try to come up with more if possible.

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

My, that's nice - how frightening it would be to discover you want to walk through a door that would change your life so drasticly, particularly when you'd had no previous clue of that door's existence.

Welcome, and feel free to wander through our door on a regular basis.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly for your warm welcome. [smiles]

And yeah, the whole walk-through-door was an oblique reference to masturbation. Heh. I wonder how many people picked up on it since various people I've shown it to interpret it rather differently. I didn't intentionally mean for it to be so obscure, but I actually like the ambiguity of it now.

[cough] Anyway, thanks again for your comments.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

mmmmmmmm Feels just like a dream. Add me to the list of those who want more.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Heh, will do. [The pressure is escalating for me to crank out more. Gah]

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was wonderful! You get into Fraser's head so well. He's so bad at allowing himself to let go, to do precisely what he wants to do. That desperate yearning, a thought he'd never allowed himself to have, the moment of bliss, then he shuts it all off...it's the saddest damn thing. You did a beautiful job of it. Can't wait to see more from you.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you. I'm going into a gigantic overload of fuzzy warmness from all the comments I'm getting. And yours is high praise indeed as one of the most flattering things someone could tell me is that I was able to get into Fraser's head and speak [or, rather, write] in his words. Thanks you again so much.

[(Anonymous)]

I like the use of language here-- it really sounds like the way Fraser would think. Lovely work.

As for a title... "Door Number Two" suggests itself. ;-D

--Kellie

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Haha, thanks for the title suggestion. And of course, for your comments. [grin]

[ozsaur.livejournal.com]

Welcome! What a lovely story to start off your debut in DS. Lyrical and angsty. Great Fraser POV.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[rowanfairchild.livejournal.com]

Oh, love this! The immediacy and flow, just gorgeous. And subtle. What a lovely debut, add me to the list of people who'd love to see you spend more time here.

-R

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

[blushes] Thank you. I'm working on a longer story right now, but I need to see if I can somehow incorporate a door in it. :)

[wildmachinery.livejournal.com]

Ohh, the language, the imagery, the emotion ... so beautiful. Please keep writing here.

-mercy

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) I shall endeavor to continue to post here, as I have a bad habit of dabbling in a community and then disappearing off the face of the earth.

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

I think this is lovely--and welcome! Next time, I want a happy ending from you! Speranza waves the happy ending stick menacingly!

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Haha, I shall try my best. Happy endings tend to elude me. And thank you. [grin]