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Oct. 6th, 2003 09:42 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Dedicated with great affection to
bethbethbeth and inspired by her story Small World (or more accurately, by her comment therein.) Many apologies to all. I couldn't help myself.
Huis Clos
by Speranza
The Valet led him to the end of the richly carpeted corridor, pulled a large, golden key from his pocket, and unlocked the door. Benton Fraser wasn't at all surprised to see that both Rays had gotten here before him and had already entrenched themselves in the room.
"Get your feet off the freakin' sofa," Ray Vecchio said, arms crossed over his chest.
Ray Kowalski was sprawled, loose-limbed, on a large velvet sofa that was, rather shockingly, lime-green. "Are you my mother?" Ray Kowalski asked. "Because you don't look like my mother--"
"I'm not a slob, is what I'm not," Ray Vecchio retorted. "Unlike some people."
Ray Kowalski lifted his motorcycle boots onto the sofa back and crossed them daintily at the ankles. "Bite me hard, style pig."
"Benny!" Ray Vecchio had spotted him now, and his face had lit up with a familiar joy. "Oh, thank God. Hey, it's good to see you, man."
Ray Kowalski quickly propped up himself up on his elbows. "Fraser, hey," he said quietly, and anxiety had crossed his fine features. "I was afraid you weren't coming."
Ray Vecchio glared at Ray Kowalski. "It's nothing to you if he comes or don't; Fraser is my partner, okay? A part of my life, which you're gonna have to get through your thick skull, Stanley. Game over, you're fired, go home."
"Me, I am home," Ray Kowalski said, and while he was talking to Vecchio, his blue eyes were fixed firmly on Fraser. "Home as I'll ever be."
"Get out of my life, get out of my life, get out of my liiiife," Ray Vecchio moaned, like the incantation might suddenly make Ray Kowalski disappear entirely.
Fraser turned to the Valet. "Please," he said, swallowing hard. "Isn't there anywhere else?"
The Valet showed him a thin smile. "I'm afraid not, sir."
Fraser turned around just in time to see Ray Vecchio hauling a surprised Ray Kowalski off the sofa by the collar.
"Ray, don't!" Fraser protested, and not a second too soon. Ray Vecchio had already drawn back his fist, which now hovered, threateningly, a foot in front of Ray Kowalski's face. But Ray Kowalski didn't look afraid; instead, he lifted his chin defiantly.
"Go ahead," Ray Kowalski whispered. "Hit me. You been aching to do that since even before we were dead." His lips twisted into a wry, sexy smile. "You been aching for something, anyway..."
Ray Vecchio's green eyes blazed into Ray Kowalski's blue ones for a long moment, and just as Fraser was despairingly sure that Vecchio was going to release the pent-up tension of that fist and smash it right into Kowalski's face, Vecchio suddenly hauled Kowalski close and kissed him. Kowalski draped his long arms loosely around Vecchio's neck and rubbed the frayed fly of his jeans against the pleated front of Vecchio's Armani pants.
"Please," Fraser begged, turning back to the Valet, "there must be somewhere..."
The Valet shook his head in apparent sympathy. "Terribly sorry, sir, no."
Fraser shot his former partners another glance; Vecchio now seemed to be humping Kowalski up against the wall. Fraser looked away again quickly and fixed his eyes on a sign on the opposite wall. No Smoking, it said, and then beneath, Defense de fumer. Apparently nobody had bothered to inform the Rays, who were now rubbing against each other so hard that flames were doubtless to be expected.
"Victoria Metcalf must be here somewhere," Fraser suggested in some desperation. "Perhaps I could share a room with her, a loaded gun, and a ravenous polar bear?"
"Nice try, sir," the Valet said, ruefully shaking his head.
There was a crash--Ray Vecchio had abruptly sent Kowalski flying into the sideboard, and Kowalski had inadvertently broken a horrible looking pink glass sculpture. Vecchio was panting, and tightly clutching the gold crucifix around his neck in one hand.
"Ah, heck," Kowalski said with a sigh. "Another attack?" He rolled his eyes and looked at Fraser. "He's had three since we got here."
"Attack?" Fraser looked at Ray Vecchio with some concern; he seemed to be gasping violently for air. "Epilepsy? Asthma?"
Kowalski shook his head. "Catholic guilt," he explained.
"It's wrong, I just know it..." Vecchio moaned, clutching the crucifix in his palm. "I can't do this..."
Kowalski shook his head in frustration, then turned around and punched the wall behind him. "What're you gonna do, Vecchio, go to hell?" Ray asked sarcastically, sucking sensuously on his scraped knuckles. "Cause not to break it to you, but--"
"Ray does have a point," Fraser said, hoping to make Ray Vecchio feel better. "Questions of personal morality are now, alas, moot, though I don't see why we shouldn't continue to be courteous toward each other."
Fraser suddenly found himself with an armful of as-yet-sexually-unfulfilled Kowalski. "Oh, I can do courteous," Ray murmured against his mouth. "I can do you any way you want--" and oh dear, but Ray's lips were soft against his, and his kiss was damn near irresistible.
He was brought up short by a wail from Ray Vecchio. "He stole everything from me," Ray Vecchio said in a ragged-sounding voice. "He stole my name and my family and my car. He even stole you, Benny..."
"He even stole you, Benny..." Ray Kowalski mimicked in a small, mean voice.
"Ray, no..." Fraser broke away from Ray Kowalski and went to Ray Vecchio, clasping him heartily on the shoulder. "That's not true, I promise you. People aren't interchangeable like snowmobile parts. No one--no one could ever replace you."
Vecchio pointed savagely at Kowalski. "Tell him that."
"You stole my wife," Kowalski shot back, stabbing a finger at him. "You stole my Stella."
Oh Christ, Fraser thought, feeling his eyes go wide with horror. He'd thought things had gotten as bad as they could possibly get, but now realized that nobody'd yet mentioned the S-word. Stella.
"I didn't steal her," Vecchio protested angrily. "She was free. She left you--"
Kowalski raised his hands to cover his ears. His eyes were bright with unshed tears.
"--which is yet another thing you've got to get through your thick skull, capiche?"
Ray Kowalski, chest hitching for breath, whirled around to face the wall, and Ray Vecchio touched Fraser's arm, taking advantage of the sudden privacy. "He's trouble, Benny; he's a head-case, ain't got no sense of family. We had a good thing, you and me, and that guy there, he ruined it for us." Ray Vecchio leaned in to whisper, and his breath was hot and sweet. "But he ain't worth going to war over, okay? We can ignore him, pretend he never happened," and then Ray's lips were pressing a kiss to Fraser's cheek. Ray's eyes were beautiful, so very green. "It can be like it used to, between us."
"I--" Fraser's throat felt tight; he didn't know what to say. Certainly, he loved Ray Vecchio, the man who had helped him hunt his father's killers, the man who had been his lifeline in Chicago. "Ray, you must know what you mean to me..."
"It's okay," Ray Kowalski's voice was hoarse. "You just go on and choose him. I don't need you. I don't need nobody..."
Fraser's eyes went blurry, and when he could focus again, he saw yet another sign tacked to the wall. No Vacancies, this one said, and underneath that, Complet. Blinking rapidly now, Fraser noticed that another sign was tacked to the lavatory; this one said Out Of Order, and below it, En Panne.
And then Fraser understood, and for the first time since he entered this place, he truly despaired. "Ray!" he said. "Ray!" and they both looked at him, eyes reddened and teary. "Don't you see what this place is? There's no need for fire and brimstone, for red-hot pokers! Hell is--" and here Fraser lifted his hand and pointed at the bilingual sign over the door which read, No Exit /Huis Clos--"in Quebec!"
THE END
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Huis Clos
by Speranza
The Valet led him to the end of the richly carpeted corridor, pulled a large, golden key from his pocket, and unlocked the door. Benton Fraser wasn't at all surprised to see that both Rays had gotten here before him and had already entrenched themselves in the room.
"Get your feet off the freakin' sofa," Ray Vecchio said, arms crossed over his chest.
Ray Kowalski was sprawled, loose-limbed, on a large velvet sofa that was, rather shockingly, lime-green. "Are you my mother?" Ray Kowalski asked. "Because you don't look like my mother--"
"I'm not a slob, is what I'm not," Ray Vecchio retorted. "Unlike some people."
Ray Kowalski lifted his motorcycle boots onto the sofa back and crossed them daintily at the ankles. "Bite me hard, style pig."
"Benny!" Ray Vecchio had spotted him now, and his face had lit up with a familiar joy. "Oh, thank God. Hey, it's good to see you, man."
Ray Kowalski quickly propped up himself up on his elbows. "Fraser, hey," he said quietly, and anxiety had crossed his fine features. "I was afraid you weren't coming."
Ray Vecchio glared at Ray Kowalski. "It's nothing to you if he comes or don't; Fraser is my partner, okay? A part of my life, which you're gonna have to get through your thick skull, Stanley. Game over, you're fired, go home."
"Me, I am home," Ray Kowalski said, and while he was talking to Vecchio, his blue eyes were fixed firmly on Fraser. "Home as I'll ever be."
"Get out of my life, get out of my life, get out of my liiiife," Ray Vecchio moaned, like the incantation might suddenly make Ray Kowalski disappear entirely.
Fraser turned to the Valet. "Please," he said, swallowing hard. "Isn't there anywhere else?"
The Valet showed him a thin smile. "I'm afraid not, sir."
Fraser turned around just in time to see Ray Vecchio hauling a surprised Ray Kowalski off the sofa by the collar.
"Ray, don't!" Fraser protested, and not a second too soon. Ray Vecchio had already drawn back his fist, which now hovered, threateningly, a foot in front of Ray Kowalski's face. But Ray Kowalski didn't look afraid; instead, he lifted his chin defiantly.
"Go ahead," Ray Kowalski whispered. "Hit me. You been aching to do that since even before we were dead." His lips twisted into a wry, sexy smile. "You been aching for something, anyway..."
Ray Vecchio's green eyes blazed into Ray Kowalski's blue ones for a long moment, and just as Fraser was despairingly sure that Vecchio was going to release the pent-up tension of that fist and smash it right into Kowalski's face, Vecchio suddenly hauled Kowalski close and kissed him. Kowalski draped his long arms loosely around Vecchio's neck and rubbed the frayed fly of his jeans against the pleated front of Vecchio's Armani pants.
"Please," Fraser begged, turning back to the Valet, "there must be somewhere..."
The Valet shook his head in apparent sympathy. "Terribly sorry, sir, no."
Fraser shot his former partners another glance; Vecchio now seemed to be humping Kowalski up against the wall. Fraser looked away again quickly and fixed his eyes on a sign on the opposite wall. No Smoking, it said, and then beneath, Defense de fumer. Apparently nobody had bothered to inform the Rays, who were now rubbing against each other so hard that flames were doubtless to be expected.
"Victoria Metcalf must be here somewhere," Fraser suggested in some desperation. "Perhaps I could share a room with her, a loaded gun, and a ravenous polar bear?"
"Nice try, sir," the Valet said, ruefully shaking his head.
There was a crash--Ray Vecchio had abruptly sent Kowalski flying into the sideboard, and Kowalski had inadvertently broken a horrible looking pink glass sculpture. Vecchio was panting, and tightly clutching the gold crucifix around his neck in one hand.
"Ah, heck," Kowalski said with a sigh. "Another attack?" He rolled his eyes and looked at Fraser. "He's had three since we got here."
"Attack?" Fraser looked at Ray Vecchio with some concern; he seemed to be gasping violently for air. "Epilepsy? Asthma?"
Kowalski shook his head. "Catholic guilt," he explained.
"It's wrong, I just know it..." Vecchio moaned, clutching the crucifix in his palm. "I can't do this..."
Kowalski shook his head in frustration, then turned around and punched the wall behind him. "What're you gonna do, Vecchio, go to hell?" Ray asked sarcastically, sucking sensuously on his scraped knuckles. "Cause not to break it to you, but--"
"Ray does have a point," Fraser said, hoping to make Ray Vecchio feel better. "Questions of personal morality are now, alas, moot, though I don't see why we shouldn't continue to be courteous toward each other."
Fraser suddenly found himself with an armful of as-yet-sexually-unfulfilled Kowalski. "Oh, I can do courteous," Ray murmured against his mouth. "I can do you any way you want--" and oh dear, but Ray's lips were soft against his, and his kiss was damn near irresistible.
He was brought up short by a wail from Ray Vecchio. "He stole everything from me," Ray Vecchio said in a ragged-sounding voice. "He stole my name and my family and my car. He even stole you, Benny..."
"He even stole you, Benny..." Ray Kowalski mimicked in a small, mean voice.
"Ray, no..." Fraser broke away from Ray Kowalski and went to Ray Vecchio, clasping him heartily on the shoulder. "That's not true, I promise you. People aren't interchangeable like snowmobile parts. No one--no one could ever replace you."
Vecchio pointed savagely at Kowalski. "Tell him that."
"You stole my wife," Kowalski shot back, stabbing a finger at him. "You stole my Stella."
Oh Christ, Fraser thought, feeling his eyes go wide with horror. He'd thought things had gotten as bad as they could possibly get, but now realized that nobody'd yet mentioned the S-word. Stella.
"I didn't steal her," Vecchio protested angrily. "She was free. She left you--"
Kowalski raised his hands to cover his ears. His eyes were bright with unshed tears.
"--which is yet another thing you've got to get through your thick skull, capiche?"
Ray Kowalski, chest hitching for breath, whirled around to face the wall, and Ray Vecchio touched Fraser's arm, taking advantage of the sudden privacy. "He's trouble, Benny; he's a head-case, ain't got no sense of family. We had a good thing, you and me, and that guy there, he ruined it for us." Ray Vecchio leaned in to whisper, and his breath was hot and sweet. "But he ain't worth going to war over, okay? We can ignore him, pretend he never happened," and then Ray's lips were pressing a kiss to Fraser's cheek. Ray's eyes were beautiful, so very green. "It can be like it used to, between us."
"I--" Fraser's throat felt tight; he didn't know what to say. Certainly, he loved Ray Vecchio, the man who had helped him hunt his father's killers, the man who had been his lifeline in Chicago. "Ray, you must know what you mean to me..."
"It's okay," Ray Kowalski's voice was hoarse. "You just go on and choose him. I don't need you. I don't need nobody..."
Fraser's eyes went blurry, and when he could focus again, he saw yet another sign tacked to the wall. No Vacancies, this one said, and underneath that, Complet. Blinking rapidly now, Fraser noticed that another sign was tacked to the lavatory; this one said Out Of Order, and below it, En Panne.
And then Fraser understood, and for the first time since he entered this place, he truly despaired. "Ray!" he said. "Ray!" and they both looked at him, eyes reddened and teary. "Don't you see what this place is? There's no need for fire and brimstone, for red-hot pokers! Hell is--" and here Fraser lifted his hand and pointed at the bilingual sign over the door which read, No Exit /Huis Clos--"in Quebec!"
THE END
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:40 am (UTC)::prostrates self::
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:45 pm (UTC)(So glad you liked!)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:41 am (UTC)"Nice try, sir," the Valet said, ruefully shaking his head.
Priceless, absolutely priceless.
Having spent a day trapped at the railway station there, and not meaning any insult to residents, I can't help but agree.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:47 pm (UTC)?? Do you mean Victoria Station? Or Quebec? *g*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:48 am (UTC)::::stretches arms out as far as they'll go::::
...this much!!
Because..."Victoria Metcalf must be here somewhere," Fraser suggested in some desperation. "Perhaps I could share a room with her, a loaded gun, and a ravenous polar bear?"
and
"Attack?" Fraser looked at Ray Vecchio with some concern; he seemed to be gasping violently for air. "Epilepsy? Asthma?"
Kowalski shook his head. "Catholic guilt," he explained.
Hee.
Tres bien!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:51 pm (UTC)Well, I had to have them kiss--the whole premise of No Exit is the constantly shifting triangle, which is so perfectly DS with it's F/V, F/K, V/K nightmare. (Not to mention the nightmare of the fandom's history--fandom, like history, is the nightmare from which we can not awaken, eh? *g*)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:52 am (UTC)Oh, dear god, this is so funny.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:52 pm (UTC)And consider this my gift to you--from one drama queen to another! SMOOCH!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 04:13 am (UTC)This is why you're my hero.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 04:33 am (UTC)Fell out of my chair. Not even kidding. Maybe some things are funnier when you actually grow up Catholic, but I'm betting this is universally amusing.^^
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:55 pm (UTC)Having been brought up Catholic myself, I wouldn't know. It was fuckin' funny to me, though. *g*
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:Hella good ^^
Date: 2003-10-07 07:15 am (UTC)Re: Hella good ^^
Date: 2003-10-07 05:58 pm (UTC)Re: Hella good ^^
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 11:04 am (UTC)Oh, and thank you for this phrase:
an armful of as-yet-sexually-unfulfilled Kowalski
Mmmmm.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 11:44 am (UTC)I haven't read Huis Clos since high school, but you just brought it all right back.
Somehow, I don't remember it being this hysterically funny... :-)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:01 pm (UTC)Either that, or maybe I'm older and wiser and horror looks funnier to me now. *g*
Thanks for commenting!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 12:56 pm (UTC)Oh, lord, I think I hurt myself...
Only you, Ces, could pull off something *this* perverse.
I bow in your general direction.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:03 pm (UTC)But we knew that already. *g*
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:04 pm (UTC)(And thank you!)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 03:18 pm (UTC)That said, though ... the hellish situation they're in? It was quite funny, but it also twisted me up. This little thing definitely packed more of a punch than I was expecting.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:08 pm (UTC)That's the Sartre coming through. I was just going to establish the situation of No Exit, but then I decided to actually show the hellishess of the triangle--in Sartre, each alliance between two characters is explored and falls apart, and we understanding that hell is going to be this network of constantly shifting alliances. Same here: these guys are going to be cycling through the F/V, the F/K and the V/K for all eternity.
Though the solution, obviously, is a threesome. *g*
Calling cmshaw! Come in, cmshaw!! We need youuuuuuuu....
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:09 pm (UTC)LOL!! Wrong fandom!!!
(And thanks for liking!)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:09 pm (UTC)Fabulous.
-mercy
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 05:31 pm (UTC)Brilliant!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:14 pm (UTC)Also, I did have a moment's thought about Diefenbaker, but something deep inside me is 100 percent sure that Dief's in heaven, man. *g*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 08:39 pm (UTC)As for the story itself, haha, fucking hilarious. Only worth half a Speranza story credit though cause of the V/K kiss. Or...er...maybe three/quarters cause of the F/K moment. [cough]
Anyhow the Catholic guilt thing was great. [grin] As was Fraser's dismayed distress. Poor Fraser.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 01:20 am (UTC)But . . . it was God-awfully funny. :)
"Get out of my life, get out of my life, get out of my liiiife," Ray Vecchio moaned
For some reason, I got this vision of Vecchio as The Ghost Of Due South Past, rattling chains as he walks . . .
no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 03:10 am (UTC)This is how flashfiction starts. *g* Actually, I do have a Literary Parody Challenge down there on the list--if we ever get there, you know what to do!