more Fraser whomping challenge

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Because, really. Can you ever have enough Fraser whomping?

Thank you to liviapenn for read-through. About 400 words.

*****

It was early, but Fraser was already awake; he had not slept at all that night, in fact. There were so few hours left.

He lay still, watching her in the predawn light. Her body was warm against his, warm and flowing with life, and he could still not quite grasp the surprise and joy of that fact.

Victoria awoke slowly, shifting in his arms and murmuring softly to herself.

*Her voice*, Fraser thought, *her voice*, and the thought wracked him with pain.

Her face, when she turned it up to him, was pale, so pale, contrasted against the black of her eyes and hair. Like a ghost; like an angel.

She stared at him for a long moment. She could see into his soul, Fraser thought -- she knew everything about him--

"You're not going to let me go," she said.

"I can't. I'm sorry--"

"You can, Ben. You *won't*."

"Victoria," Fraser said, and he closed his eyes tight. He heard a noise like a choked sob, then she shifted in his arms again, pulling away from his embrace.

"You bastard," she hissed in his ear. He opened his eyes and she was above him, fierce and pained and lovely, and he wasn't surprised when she shoved him, shoved him onto his back and struck her fists against his arms and chest. It wasn't much. He could take it. He could--

She stopped suddenly, another noise escaping her, as she rested her weight forward on Fraser's chest.

"Victoria," Fraser said again, and this time she turned her face towards his, and they kissed, hungrily, eagerly.

Fraser was hardening beneath all his layers; Victoria's hands were suddenly between them, adjusting things, arranging things. "I want you to remember me," she whispered, moving herself on top of him.

"Yes," Fraser gasped. She didn't need to ask -- it would be written on him, tattooed somewhere deep inside, where he would never be free of it.

"Think of *this*," she said; he was caught beneath her gaze, and he tried to hold himself still beneath her, and take exactly what she would give him. "Every day. Promise me--"

"I promise," Fraser said, and she closed her eyes as she sank down onto his erection. The pleasure was so fierce it was almost pain, and Fraser gripped her tightly, trying to grasp the shape of her body as best he could, and then he closed his eyes as well.

Comments

[laylee.livejournal.com]

Ouch, sweet and painful all at the same time. Nice.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think you broke me ...


::sniff::


Just lovely and sad and painful.

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. This is, like, a death story where no one dies.

Wow.

[tyk.livejournal.com]

physical and emotional whomping on our Fraser -- and it fits into canon so beautifully:
it would be written on him, tattooed somewhere deep inside, where he would never be free of it.

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

Oh my. This is just...I'm speechless.

This is probably one of the most beautifully written things I've read. I have to agree with Lynn; it is a death story where no one dies. Freaking amazing.

[chickwriter.livejournal.com]

This really hurt. A lot.

Of course, this is a mark of excellent writing. :)

Count me in on the death-without-death-fic contigent.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

Dear god. This is gorgeous. Just - heart-rending, and upsetting, and so fucking gorgeous. In a real painful way. I just - yeah. Victoria = of the bad, but Fraser = of the fucked-up, and the issues, man, the sheer issues involved...

Christ. Well. Okay. Very, very good. So enormously glad you're writing DS.

[akite.livejournal.com]

Oh, my goodness! That was wonderful. Uh, darn, that's all I can think to say.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Ow!!!

Oh, man, that hurts, but it's a good kind of hurt.

Nice work.

[originalkitsune.livejournal.com]

This is good. You almost scared me with the ending. I thought she was going to leave um...more permanent sort of marks on him.

[uselessplayback.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I'm with lynnmonster on this one.

Excellent. ^_^

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think you broke me ...

But only a little, right? Because, um. Other people are posting happy things! And smut! Those are good for fixing.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heh. When Livia was reading through the rough draft, she was all "You know what this needs? It needs to hurt more." And I went "....Okay!"

Thanks!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much -- I'm glad you liked it.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Nooo, I like the broke-ness sometimes. Bittersweet chocolate's my fave.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heh. Pain! Pain for everyone!

And thank you!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, your comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy -- thank you so much!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'm glad you liked it!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And, yeah, I don't think Fraser's necessarily fated to be forever-doomed!boy.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Huh, I wouldn't have thought of that -- it's their heads that are fucked-up, not their bodies, I guess.

Thank you for commenting!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's okay, then.

[hellespont.livejournal.com]

You know, someone should tell Fraser he might not get hurt so much if he wasn't so damn wonderful at it. But I suppose that's mostly your doing this time, eh? Makes me want to poke him with a stick, just to soak up all that lovely pain. Bravisima, angst mistress.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

He does take whomping rather well, really.

Thank you very much for your comment!

[sihayab.livejournal.com]

Dittoing on the ows and the angst. It's one of the few explanations of their totally fucked up relationship that make sense to me.

Brava!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much!

[chesamus.livejournal.com]

That's a perfect toothache of a story.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you!