For the Dead Bob challenge
Mar. 29th, 2004 05:12 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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sihayab said it was good to go, so it must be true.
Conversations
"I can't imagine what the boy was thinking."
The gull cocked its head at the ghost, who opted to interpret that as interest. He was an optimist that way.
"You'd think he'd appreciate a little fatherly advice."
The gull pecked at the sand.
"I had a lot of years on this mortal coil, you know. And I spent most of them in the line of duty. Chasing down malfeasants. Serving truth, justice, and the Canadian way."
The gull dug a few millimeters down, pulled out a flake of mussel shell, and discarded it.
"I know what I'm talking about, especially in these matters. And with all the flak he gives me for not having been around -- don't think I don't hear it, just because he leaves the words unspoken -- you might think he'd be glad I'm helping now."
The gull didn't do a damn thing. Bob kept talking.
"'Those handcuffs are meant for official police use, son,' I said. 'It's a perversion of the office to make use of them otherwise.' I was *going* to add, 'They'll abrade your wrists, you can do better, they make them lined with that faux-fur now, and I'll tell you, while the leopard-print is admittedly reprehensible, you'll feel a lot better about in the morning when your skin isn't chafed.' But would he listen?" Bob sniffed. "'Shove off, Dad,' he says. Is that any way to speak to your own father's ghost?"
The gull shoved off and flew away.
Bob sighed and skipped a ghostly pebble across the lake.
Suddenly he brightened. "Maybe the Yank will see reason," he said, to no one in particular.
And vanished.
A thousand miles away, in a Chicago apartment, Ray Kowalski screamed.
(286 words)
sihayab said it was good to go, so it must be true. Conversations
"I can't imagine what the boy was thinking."
The gull cocked its head at the ghost, who opted to interpret that as interest. He was an optimist that way.
"You'd think he'd appreciate a little fatherly advice."
The gull pecked at the sand.
"I had a lot of years on this mortal coil, you know. And I spent most of them in the line of duty. Chasing down malfeasants. Serving truth, justice, and the Canadian way."
The gull dug a few millimeters down, pulled out a flake of mussel shell, and discarded it.
"I know what I'm talking about, especially in these matters. And with all the flak he gives me for not having been around -- don't think I don't hear it, just because he leaves the words unspoken -- you might think he'd be glad I'm helping now."
The gull didn't do a damn thing. Bob kept talking.
"'Those handcuffs are meant for official police use, son,' I said. 'It's a perversion of the office to make use of them otherwise.' I was *going* to add, 'They'll abrade your wrists, you can do better, they make them lined with that faux-fur now, and I'll tell you, while the leopard-print is admittedly reprehensible, you'll feel a lot better about in the morning when your skin isn't chafed.' But would he listen?" Bob sniffed. "'Shove off, Dad,' he says. Is that any way to speak to your own father's ghost?"
The gull shoved off and flew away.
Bob sighed and skipped a ghostly pebble across the lake.
Suddenly he brightened. "Maybe the Yank will see reason," he said, to no one in particular.
And vanished.
A thousand miles away, in a Chicago apartment, Ray Kowalski screamed.
(286 words)
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Date: 2004-03-29 02:18 pm (UTC)Oops. I'm at work, I'd better do that more quietly. ;-D
Priceless!
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 02:31 pm (UTC)BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Thank you.
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2004-03-29 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 04:08 pm (UTC)Excellent Bob icon you've got there, btw.
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Date: 2004-03-29 02:52 pm (UTC)Oh my goodness, I laughed so loud I scared the cat. Beautiful.
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 03:08 pm (UTC)And that last line. . .priceless.
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 04:14 pm (UTC)Your icon is hilarious, btw.
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Date: 2004-03-29 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 04:38 pm (UTC)Aieeeeeee! Hee! LOL!
*g*
That's my Bob!
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Date: 2004-03-29 06:33 pm (UTC)This little snippet cracked me right up, so I'm glad to see that everyone else is having the same reaction -- it suggests I'm not totally sick. Or if I am, at least I'm not alone. ;-)
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Date: 2004-03-29 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-03-29 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 06:38 pm (UTC)Glad you liked the snippet!
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Date: 2004-03-29 06:50 pm (UTC)And yeah -- I have a pretty entertaining mental image of what Bob said to Ray and how the scene went from there... ;-)
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Date: 2004-03-29 08:02 pm (UTC)I mean, there's supportive parenting and then there's, um, Bob. *g*
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Date: 2004-03-30 05:06 am (UTC)Bob's just such amazing comedic fodder...
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Date: 2004-03-29 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-30 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 09:11 pm (UTC)Thank you for the welcome cheer (on a Monday).
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Date: 2004-03-30 05:10 am (UTC)Hee
Date: 2004-03-29 09:36 pm (UTC)Re: Hee
Date: 2004-03-30 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-29 09:41 pm (UTC)Now *that's* fricking funny.
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Date: 2004-03-30 05:12 am (UTC)I'm so glad it worked for you!
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Date: 2004-03-29 10:35 pm (UTC)*water goes EVERYWHERE*
you are ebil.
I find that sexy.
Really.
*g*
B
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Date: 2004-03-30 05:14 am (UTC)Thank you most kindly!
;-)
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Date: 2004-03-30 09:26 am (UTC)