Scars Challenge
Jul. 6th, 2004 02:56 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
estrella30.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionMy contribution to the scars challenge. Probably the first thing I've ever written - ever - which actually falls under the word count. No spoliers. Featuring adolescent Ray and Stella.
Super-sized THANK YOU to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
brooklinegirl for the Beta On Demand. You rock, dear.
Scars
Ray sat Indian-style on the light pink rug in Stella's bedroom. Stella's parent's had air conditioning in the whole house, so her room was always cold and mostly smelled like flowers. He tried not to look down too much; tried not too notice how old his jeans were, or how every time he moved, dirt from the knees of his jeans puffed off, leaving a trail of dust all over that cold, pink rug.
"Ok. Ready. Gimme your finger."
He looked up just in time to see Stella flipping her long, blonde hair over her shoulder. She sat down in front of him, crossing her legs so that her knees touched his.
Ray rolled his eyes. "God, Stel. This is so lame."
"It is not," Stella huffed, taking his hand in hers and flipping it over, palm side up. Her fingers, long and slender, curled around his, her skin soft and very white next to his own. "We're going to be going to different schools on Monday and -"
"And we go to different schools now," Ray argued for what felt like the millionth time in two days. "It's not like, now I see you all the time and next week I won't see you at all. It'll be just the same."
Stella's eyes were wide and her bottom lip trembled. "But we're going to new schools - new middle schools - and we'll both be meeting new people and doing new things, and I just..." she trailed off and bit her lip as she looked off to the side. "I just don't want you to forget about me," she finished softly, and Ray turned his hand over and laced his fingers with hers.
"Hey," he said, squeezing her hand until she turned her head back to look at him. "I'm not gonna forget you, I could never. You're my Stella."
And when she asked him for his hand again, he said yes. He knew with Stella he would always say yes.
She pressed the pin against the pad of his finger. It hurt - just for a split second - and when she pulled the pin away a dark drop of blood welled up where she had stuck him. He squeezed the middle of his finger with his other hand, forcing the blood to come out more, turning the tip of his finger a funny shade of purple.
Stella said she was ready, so he looked over and saw her doing the same thing, squeezing her finger, forcing out the blood. The pin was lying on the rug next to her knees, the tip leaving a faint streak of red on the pale, pink carpet.
Ray reached out his hand and pressed the tip of his finger to hers, watching their two drops of blood smoosh together, some of it dripping down, seeping deep into the rug.
He held his finger against hers and looked into her eyes until he could feel the beat of his heart match hers through their fingertips. Until he couldn't feel the difference between where his skin ended and hers began. Until the stain set into the carpet and dried, leaving a mark that would never come out.
Super-sized THANK YOU to
brooklinegirl for the Beta On Demand. You rock, dear. Scars
Ray sat Indian-style on the light pink rug in Stella's bedroom. Stella's parent's had air conditioning in the whole house, so her room was always cold and mostly smelled like flowers. He tried not to look down too much; tried not too notice how old his jeans were, or how every time he moved, dirt from the knees of his jeans puffed off, leaving a trail of dust all over that cold, pink rug.
"Ok. Ready. Gimme your finger."
He looked up just in time to see Stella flipping her long, blonde hair over her shoulder. She sat down in front of him, crossing her legs so that her knees touched his.
Ray rolled his eyes. "God, Stel. This is so lame."
"It is not," Stella huffed, taking his hand in hers and flipping it over, palm side up. Her fingers, long and slender, curled around his, her skin soft and very white next to his own. "We're going to be going to different schools on Monday and -"
"And we go to different schools now," Ray argued for what felt like the millionth time in two days. "It's not like, now I see you all the time and next week I won't see you at all. It'll be just the same."
Stella's eyes were wide and her bottom lip trembled. "But we're going to new schools - new middle schools - and we'll both be meeting new people and doing new things, and I just..." she trailed off and bit her lip as she looked off to the side. "I just don't want you to forget about me," she finished softly, and Ray turned his hand over and laced his fingers with hers.
"Hey," he said, squeezing her hand until she turned her head back to look at him. "I'm not gonna forget you, I could never. You're my Stella."
And when she asked him for his hand again, he said yes. He knew with Stella he would always say yes.
She pressed the pin against the pad of his finger. It hurt - just for a split second - and when she pulled the pin away a dark drop of blood welled up where she had stuck him. He squeezed the middle of his finger with his other hand, forcing the blood to come out more, turning the tip of his finger a funny shade of purple.
Stella said she was ready, so he looked over and saw her doing the same thing, squeezing her finger, forcing out the blood. The pin was lying on the rug next to her knees, the tip leaving a faint streak of red on the pale, pink carpet.
Ray reached out his hand and pressed the tip of his finger to hers, watching their two drops of blood smoosh together, some of it dripping down, seeping deep into the rug.
He held his finger against hers and looked into her eyes until he could feel the beat of his heart match hers through their fingertips. Until he couldn't feel the difference between where his skin ended and hers began. Until the stain set into the carpet and dried, leaving a mark that would never come out.
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Date: 2004-07-06 12:21 pm (UTC)Lovely detail!
And when she asked him for his hand again, he said yes. He knew with Stella he would always say yes.
Aww.
Ray reached out his hand and pressed the tip of his finger to hers, watching their two drops of blood smoosh together, some of it dripping down, seeping deep into the rug.
I like "smoosh" there. It's not a word I would ordinarily imagine Ray using, but Ray at eleven or twelve might've used it, yeah. :-)
And I love the ending. Nice work!
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:17 pm (UTC)I swear, the one thing I was the most unsure about in the whole fic, was the smoosh! It's hard to think like a 12 year old boy, lol.
Thanks again for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2004-07-06 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:18 pm (UTC)Thank you kindly! You're too good to me!
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Date: 2004-07-06 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 01:07 pm (UTC)yeah. oh yeah. what a perfect angle on it! ::adores::
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:20 pm (UTC)*adores you right back*
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Date: 2004-07-06 01:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:21 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2004-07-06 01:29 pm (UTC)"Hey," he said, squeezing her hand until she turned her head back to look at him. "I'm not gonna forget you, I could never. You're my Stella."
This is so incredibly sweet. What girl wouldn't love having Teen!Ray for a boyfriend? *g*
You rock!
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:22 pm (UTC)Oh god, I know I sure as hell would have *g*
Thanks so much, iulia! I really appreciate your comments!
*hugs iulia*
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Date: 2004-07-06 02:12 pm (UTC)That line breaks my heart. Ray loves with his whole heart.
The whole story made me nostalgic for the times when life was less complicated--not that I'd go through adolescence again for any amount of money.
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:23 pm (UTC)Sigh. God, he really does. And that's why we love him *g*
(And FWIW? I'm with you on the 'No more adolescence' thing *g*)
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Date: 2004-07-06 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:24 pm (UTC)eee! Thank you so much for your wonderfuol comments! I really appreciate it!
*licks byob again*
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Date: 2004-07-06 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:24 pm (UTC)*kisses rowan right back*
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Date: 2004-07-06 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:25 pm (UTC)Thanks for letting me know, dear!
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Date: 2004-07-06 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:27 pm (UTC)Yes! You so totally can! They were doomed! Doomed I say! *g*
And that last line is just fucking perfect.
*beams*
Thank you!
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Date: 2004-07-06 05:22 pm (UTC)Gorgeous job!
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:31 pm (UTC)Thank you, dear!
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Date: 2004-07-06 05:39 pm (UTC)Thanks for posting - it was great.
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:32 pm (UTC)ooo! I love this line!
And thank YOU for the terrific comments!
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:35 pm (UTC)Yep. You totally can. Different schools, etc seem like the biggest world disaster.
And the fact that we know how it turns out, that they'll grow up and inflict scars on each other that will make becoming bloodkin seem like the child's play it is, only adds to the beauty and sadness
Wow. Thanks so much for the terrific comments. This is exactly what I was going for, so thank you!
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Date: 2004-07-06 06:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 07:36 pm (UTC)Thank you, miriam!!
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Date: 2004-07-06 07:04 pm (UTC)[snif]
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:37 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it and thanks so much for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2004-07-06 07:40 pm (UTC)"I'm not gonna forget you, I could never. You're my Stella.
So very poignant and so very Ray. You nailed it, chica. :)
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:38 pm (UTC)Thank you! Even at 12 Ray was very much Ray, lol.
*hugs you tight*
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Date: 2004-07-07 04:29 am (UTC)I like that it was Stella who was trying to hold on; it's a complete 180 from what we see later, but it makes her a little more human to me.
Sigh. Young love.
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:40 pm (UTC)Hee. Wow. That doesn't have nearly the same ring to it, now does it.
Glad that you liked the Stella in this. She's by no means my favorite person, but I'm sure she's not completely evil like I like to think of her as.
Thanks for reading and commenting, babe!
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Date: 2004-07-07 09:20 am (UTC)This in particular just reached in and squeezed my heart. "I just don't want you to forget about me," she finished softly, and Ray turned his hand over and laced his fingers with hers.
"Hey," he said, squeezing her hand until she turned her head back to look at him. "I'm not gonna forget you, I could never. You're my Stella."
The imagery and the scene painting is really wonderful, sweetie. Great job!!
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:41 pm (UTC)*drags jen to the closet and locks the door*
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Date: 2004-07-07 05:11 pm (UTC)Absolutely lovely details as well; I could literally see every bit of this scene in my head.
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Date: 2004-07-07 07:42 pm (UTC)Yes, but - he has Fraser now! So it's all ok!
Thanks for reading and commenting, zira. I appreciate it!
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Date: 2004-07-17 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-29 12:17 pm (UTC)