In the still of the night
Aug. 16th, 2004 10:24 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jenboo.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionsometimes things don't stay still...
866 words, post-Ladies Man, spoilery for that episode.
Fault Lines
by JennyB.
I roll over in bed, groggy, feeling every ache in my sorry-assed body. When I stop rolling, my stomach keeps going, reminding me that 2/3 of a bottle of Belvedere is too much on an empty stomach.
My eyelids feel like someone put sandpaper inside them while I was asleep. My mouth feels like it's been stuffed with socks. Smelly ones. After-boxing socks.
The thought makes me heave a little and suddenly I'm wide awake and rushing for the bathroom. Without my glasses on I don't see too good, but I know my apartment like the back of my hand, so I hurry in the dark with my eyes only about half open, not running, but damn close, to the john.
And smack into a closed door.
"Ray?"
"Fraser?!"
The surprise doesn't do much for the need to hurl. I fumble blindly for the doorknob, but as soon as I get a grip on it the door falls away from me. I fall forward, right into a warm body. A warm, solid Fraser body. Which is a real shame because I'm too freaked about getting my head over the toilet right now to give a damn.
I squirm away from the arms trying to hold me up, afraid to open my mouth because I might lose it and I don't want to barf all over my best friend. I cried all over him last night. That was enough humiliation for one twenty-four hour period.
He's trying to help, trying to hold me up, but he finally gets the message that he just needs to let go when I elbow him in the ribs. His arms and his warmth disappear and my way is clear to sink to my knees and let it all go.
While I'm on my knees on the cool tile floor it all comes back to me. Why I got drunk, why I cried in front of Fraser, why he's here now. My stomach keeps twisting until I'm doing nothing but dry-heaving, which has to be just about the worst feeling in the world. Except maybe for being responsible for an innocent woman's death, but I guess I just missed really finding out what that feels like.
I don't know how long I'm there on the bathroom floor. I think I fell asleep because the next thing I know, Fraser's got a glass of cold water and a few crackers in his hand. The water tastes good, but the saltines make my insides want to heave again, so I push them away.
"She's still alive, Ray. She has her life back. You did that. You've made amends for your mistake. No one could ask any more of you than that."
I let out a long, slow breath, taste the bile at the back of my throat and reach one hand up to grab the toothpaste from the side of the sink. Put a little on my finger and rub it over my tongue and teeth. Take another sip of water to wash the minty taste to the back and down.
"I know, Frase. But it hasn't sunk in yet. Just don't push me."
"All right."
I finally have myself together enough to look at him and he's sitting on the tile next to me, cross-legged, hands in his lap, leaning forward a little and just watching me.
"What?"
"I'm just concerned, Ray. I've never seen you like this."
I consider laughing, but I don't think my stomach would take it too good. "You weren't around for the end of my marriage."
"No. But I am here now."
My stomach is settling and I down the rest of the water. My whole body hurts like I’ve been beat up. My skin is clammy from having thrown up. I lay my head back down on the cool porcelain and close my eyes, breathing away the last of the nausea.
"Because this is such a party. You must be having a blast."
"I wouldn't call this fun, Ray, but I felt the need to make sure you were all right."
"I don't need you to take care of me, Fraser. Been doing it for a long time on my own."
"Do you want me to leave?"
I open one eye to check him out and he's still sitting on the floor in the same position, patiently waiting for me to make a move. I close my eye and see him on the back of my eyelids with both eyes, waiting for me to make a move. And all of a sudden, I get it. I breathe deep and warmth fills my chest.
I'm too out of it still to do anything but hug the toilet. I'm not ready to move yet. But I can talk.
"No, Fraser. I don't want you to leave. Just give me a few here by myself? I'll be out when I can stand up again."
"As you wish, Ray."
Fraser gets up, fills my water glass from the tap and sets it on the floor beside me and leaves me on the bathroom floor. But I know he's there, waiting, and if I need him, all I have to do is call.
~end~
866 words, post-Ladies Man, spoilery for that episode.
Fault Lines
by JennyB.
I roll over in bed, groggy, feeling every ache in my sorry-assed body. When I stop rolling, my stomach keeps going, reminding me that 2/3 of a bottle of Belvedere is too much on an empty stomach.
My eyelids feel like someone put sandpaper inside them while I was asleep. My mouth feels like it's been stuffed with socks. Smelly ones. After-boxing socks.
The thought makes me heave a little and suddenly I'm wide awake and rushing for the bathroom. Without my glasses on I don't see too good, but I know my apartment like the back of my hand, so I hurry in the dark with my eyes only about half open, not running, but damn close, to the john.
And smack into a closed door.
"Ray?"
"Fraser?!"
The surprise doesn't do much for the need to hurl. I fumble blindly for the doorknob, but as soon as I get a grip on it the door falls away from me. I fall forward, right into a warm body. A warm, solid Fraser body. Which is a real shame because I'm too freaked about getting my head over the toilet right now to give a damn.
I squirm away from the arms trying to hold me up, afraid to open my mouth because I might lose it and I don't want to barf all over my best friend. I cried all over him last night. That was enough humiliation for one twenty-four hour period.
He's trying to help, trying to hold me up, but he finally gets the message that he just needs to let go when I elbow him in the ribs. His arms and his warmth disappear and my way is clear to sink to my knees and let it all go.
While I'm on my knees on the cool tile floor it all comes back to me. Why I got drunk, why I cried in front of Fraser, why he's here now. My stomach keeps twisting until I'm doing nothing but dry-heaving, which has to be just about the worst feeling in the world. Except maybe for being responsible for an innocent woman's death, but I guess I just missed really finding out what that feels like.
I don't know how long I'm there on the bathroom floor. I think I fell asleep because the next thing I know, Fraser's got a glass of cold water and a few crackers in his hand. The water tastes good, but the saltines make my insides want to heave again, so I push them away.
"She's still alive, Ray. She has her life back. You did that. You've made amends for your mistake. No one could ask any more of you than that."
I let out a long, slow breath, taste the bile at the back of my throat and reach one hand up to grab the toothpaste from the side of the sink. Put a little on my finger and rub it over my tongue and teeth. Take another sip of water to wash the minty taste to the back and down.
"I know, Frase. But it hasn't sunk in yet. Just don't push me."
"All right."
I finally have myself together enough to look at him and he's sitting on the tile next to me, cross-legged, hands in his lap, leaning forward a little and just watching me.
"What?"
"I'm just concerned, Ray. I've never seen you like this."
I consider laughing, but I don't think my stomach would take it too good. "You weren't around for the end of my marriage."
"No. But I am here now."
My stomach is settling and I down the rest of the water. My whole body hurts like I’ve been beat up. My skin is clammy from having thrown up. I lay my head back down on the cool porcelain and close my eyes, breathing away the last of the nausea.
"Because this is such a party. You must be having a blast."
"I wouldn't call this fun, Ray, but I felt the need to make sure you were all right."
"I don't need you to take care of me, Fraser. Been doing it for a long time on my own."
"Do you want me to leave?"
I open one eye to check him out and he's still sitting on the floor in the same position, patiently waiting for me to make a move. I close my eye and see him on the back of my eyelids with both eyes, waiting for me to make a move. And all of a sudden, I get it. I breathe deep and warmth fills my chest.
I'm too out of it still to do anything but hug the toilet. I'm not ready to move yet. But I can talk.
"No, Fraser. I don't want you to leave. Just give me a few here by myself? I'll be out when I can stand up again."
"As you wish, Ray."
Fraser gets up, fills my water glass from the tap and sets it on the floor beside me and leaves me on the bathroom floor. But I know he's there, waiting, and if I need him, all I have to do is call.
~end~
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 10:39 am (UTC)Too funny, I just rewatched Odds and Ladies Man the other night so I've have them both in my head for a few days. What a wonderful story, Jen. I can completely see this, and the voices are wonderful!
*nibbles your ear*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 11:14 am (UTC)Fraser gets up, fills my water glass from the tap and sets it on the floor beside me and leaves me on the bathroom floor. But I know he's there, waiting, and if I need him, all I have to do is call.
Wonderful story! Thanx!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 03:09 pm (UTC)Awwwww. Nice and comforting.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-16 06:14 pm (UTC)"I don't need you to take care of me, Fraser. Been doing it for a long time on my own."
But now you don't have to do it on your own, Ray. Fraser has the right touch - close, but not smotheringly so.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-17 07:00 pm (UTC)"I'm just concerned, Ray. I've never seen you like this."
I consider laughing, but I don't think my stomach would take it too good. "You weren't around for the end of my marriage."
You really gave me a picture of how Ray must have been then. Great story altogether, but this part really got me.