Items Challenge: Loony

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

I haven't been writing much for ds_flashfiction lately. But I got inspired today and for the items challenge, I give you 236 words of looniness:



The entire plane was dark. People snored and snorted and shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Ray was seating up, investigating a coin that he held up before his eyes. It glinted under the dim reading light, the loon on its face staring impassively at him.

Loony. Described him and the coin perfectly. He had palmed it out of Benny's hat a few days before the Mountie had left for Canada. A premonition, mebbe. Or just cause he and Benny hadn't been apart for more than a day or so for the past two years, and that was damn weird, partners or not.

Could be a long time now 'fore Ray saw him again. Could be forever, if he really fucked up.

Ray rolled the loony 'round and 'round in his hand. The metal became warm, soothing against his gun calluses. It was strangely comforting, to be holding a bit of his past as the plane sped through the night towards Las Vegas. He wondered then, what Benny had thought of his last phone call, what he would think when he got back to the 27th and found some other guy in Ray's place. If he would count his coins, and find one missing, and know.

It was long ride from Chicago and he should be sleeping, preparing for tomorrow. Ray slipped the loony into his pocket and switched off the reading light. He'd said his goodbyes.

Comments

[akite.livejournal.com]

Oh! That was lovely. I'll confess, I have a kink for stories about RayV that revolve around his undercover assignment. I love to read about what he was thinking. Whether it's on his way, while he's there, when he gets back, doesn't matter. Thanks for posting this.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you! And I think fandom is sorely lacking in undercover!RayV stories - so I'm glad you liked mine!

[ellenvl.livejournal.com]

that was wonderful. I too enjoy Ray V undercover glimpses.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Thank you! Undercover!RayV really intrigues me...

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Great! Very poignant. I particularly like He'd said his goodbyes. It's as if with that line we see Langoustini beginning to close over Ray like a veil.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And I'm really glad you liked the last line - it seemed to sum up the story for me.

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this. It's wonderfully CONCRETE and full of all sorts of believable details (physical and emotional.) Incredibly vivid for so few words (and honestly, I almost didn't click because I thought, bah, 236 words, but lately the short fic around here has been dy-na-mite!)

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Wow. Thank you! For some resona, I usually write short in this fandom, so I'm very glad you clicked on it. (Though I'm thinking of expanding this one...)

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

It's the wondering whether the missing coin would be noticed that really slayed me.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

I'm really putting Ray though the wringer here, ne? I'm glad it had such an effect on you, though. ^_^

[sam80853.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! Just 236 words but perfect!

If he would count his coins, and find one missing, and know.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you!

[whitepuppy.livejournal.com]

I'm all weepy. This is really great! Well done. Thanks so much for writing and posting!

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

*hands you a Mountie hankerchief* Thank you!

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. The opening lines draw me right in, and I like the description of Ray sitting on the darkened plane fiddling with the loony coin.

You do a nice job of letting me know who's POV we're in, too.

And the ending is sweet and sad...

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

I like the description of Ray sitting on the darkened plane fiddling with the loony coin.

That's the image that inspired this ficlet - I'm glad you like it. ^_^