The Make Up Challenge

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

I've been enjoying reading all the different responses to the various challenges posted in this community. It was never my intention to actually post anything here, but (there's always a but) this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So there you go.

It's 144 words (a dodecal).

A word of warning: it's a death fic (major character). I apologize for that right now. I have no idea what prompted me to write this.

FURTHER SOUTH

Everyone said he looked good, that the make-up the mortician had applied made him look natural, but Benton Fraiser could find nothing natural about his partner lying in a casket.

Dief whimpered, nudging his hand with his nose as if trying to diffuse his growing rage.

He had come to Chicago on the trail of his father’s killers. He had found them because of the man lying so silently before him. He had known Ray’s undercover assignment was dangerous, but he had never expected this. Not this. Not now, when all the loose strings were supposedly tied up and sealed tight.

“They’re going down,” Kowalski vowed quietly from his side.

Benton looked up, startled.

“I owe it to Ma and the family.”

“We owe it.”

“No one messes with family and survives.”

Benton met the fierce gaze of his partner and nodded. “No one.”

~End~

Comments

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

yo, pooky!

what a way to start out! you couldn't kill off, say, dewey or someone, and then work your way up? ::snerk::

depressing as it was, i think the emotions were very true. good job!

ps- write kowalski, not stanley

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

what a way to start out! you couldn't kill off, say, dewey or someone, and then work your way up? ::snerk::

You know me, I'm an overachiever.

*weg*

And thanks for the kowalski comment. I'll go back and edit.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Have happy, happy images of The Vecchios doing a Godfather-style thing, with Ma Vecchio being the Godmother and Frannie as the up-and-coming heir to the throne and hitgal in the meantime.

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

The "family" would be a force to be reckoned with (if not in the traditional way...at least in their own way *weg*), wouldn't they?

Heh

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Although I still can't believe I killed RayV. I adore RayV.

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

While I adore RayV and was sad to see him in the coffin, I love the idea of Ben and RayK going all mafia revenge and hunting down whoever killed our beloved Ray Vecchio. Sad, but a very good snippet!

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement. But I can't believe I killed RayV...I love RayV. *g* Damn muse.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Tight little story. Nice.

On an unrelated note, I like your icon very much. Many animated icons seem too flashy to me, or like they're animated simply for the sake of animation; the cat poking its head into the frame, in contrast, cracks me up. :-)

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

::sniff:: I like my CKR animated gifs, mainly because they're CKR.

I love your cat icon too.

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I love it too. It was a gift from a friend.

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Frostdoll made it for me because I'm always telling stories about my crazy cat. It cracks me up too. *g*

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

A word of warning: it's a death fic (major character). I apologize for that right now. I have no idea what prompted me to write this.

Isn't it funny how something just comes out like that? I intended to write my little snippet from one point of view and another voice started talking. Um, should I worry about a voice making me write something?

I love your icon too. I like Kass' too. I should make an icon of my cat, get away from this CKR rut. ;)

Oh, and yes, never write Stanley. Please :)

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

DOH

Very nice snippet, well-written and concise and makes you feel the anger/rage.

::kikala wanders off muttering "comment on the story, idiot, that's what feedback is for"::

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh...

Hey, I'm just thrilled that you read it *g*

Death fic scares a lot of people off.

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

I was quite shocked by this little drabble. It came through LOUD AND CLEAR. While I enjoy reading DS, I've never had any intention of writing in this fandom. Go figure. *g*

Regarding the Stanley, a friend gave me the head's up. It should be changed now (I did a fast edit last night).

Thank you for the feedback.

[ntamara.livejournal.com]

Um, wow?

Like everybody else, I really like the two last sentences. Good one!

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really appreciate your giving a death drabble a chance. *g*

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Well, shiver. That's a kind of makeup that I confess I hadn't anticipated. You might have out-ghoulished Jodie Louise. ; )

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

Believe it or not, I freaked myself out with this one as well. (1) While I read DS, I don't write it; (2) I don't do death stories; and (3) I adore RayV (as I haven't actually seen any of the shows with RayK in them). I have no idea where this idea came from, but when it came, it came loud and insistent. But hey, everyone should have one ghoulish story under their belt, right? *gulp*

I'll go back to the shadows now.