[identity profile] pearl-o.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] ds_flashfiction
For [livejournal.com profile] estrella30; thank you to [livejournal.com profile] lynnmonster for beta. About 700 words.

*****

The house was dark and quiet when Ray got home. The first thing he did was head to the bathroom and throw up.

He thought about taking a shower, but his parents were both asleep already, so he skipped it and just brushed his teeth and washed out his mouth and walked down the hall as quietly as he could. In his bedroom, he stripped off his jacket and boots and jeans in the dark and then slipped under the covers and closed his eyes.

After a minute or so he got out of bed and groped around on the floor till he found his jacket. The ring was right there in the right hand pocket, just like it had been for the last week.

Ray lay down on his back on the bed and held it above his head and looked at it. There was enough light coming in from the window to see it. Even if there hadn't been, he had all the details of it memorized anyway.

Maybe Stella'd been right after all, about the two of them. Maybe she was right in saying no. She was right about practically everything else. Why not this?

Except, no, that wasn't it, because this was him and Stella. They were meant to be together. If Ray knew anything, he knew that.

Ray lowered his hand back down to his chest, tightening his fist around the ring. It was pointy and sharp against his palm. It'd felt the same way when Stella had put it in his hand and curled his fingers in around it.

Ray swallowed suddenly. He thought he could maybe still taste the bile in his throat. For a couple of seconds he wondered if he was going to throw up again, but then it went away.

He wasn't sure if it was the barfing or just everything else, but he was feeling pretty sober now.

Not that being drunk tonight had been an excuse, anyway. He had still known what he was doing. He'd known it was Jim's hand on his dick, and he hadn't even thought about Stella then, just went along with it because it felt good.

Ray *loved* Stella. Ray hadn't done anything else *but* think about Stella all week, ever since she said no and dumped him. Ray wanted her to change her mind, Ray was going to manage to convince her they should be together forever, Ray didn't have a single thing in his life half as precious and perfect and fine as Stella, but apparently none of that was enough to stop him from getting on his knees and sucking another guy's dick.

He didn't even *like* Jim that much. Most of the time the guy was kind of an asshole. Ray didn't even know why they were friends; he was one of those guys you just hung out with because they were around. Which was enough to explain why Ray was drinking himself blind in Jim's basement tonight, but not the rest of it.

The only thing that explained *that* was that Ray was really and truly fucked-up.

Ray's whole body felt jumpy, like it was coiled up tight. There was no way he was going to get to sleep tonight, so he got up and set the ring on the nightstand and got dressed again.

He hesitated for a couple of seconds, staring at the ring just sitting there, and then he reached out and jammed it in his jeans pocket.

Maybe he'd go to Stella's. Throw rocks at her window and tell her to come out and dance with him on the lawn. But Stella was probably asleep already. Even if she wasn't, she was more likely to think that he was being a jerk than that he was being romantic.

He'd go and find her tomorrow, then, find her and talk to her and show her what they both needed. Show her they should be together.

There was a pack of cigarettes hidden in the Goat. Ray fumbled around the glovebox till he got a hold of it. He sat in the garage and smoked, not thinking about anything, till he finished the cigarette. Then he stood up and shook out his limbs, got back in and started up the car again.

Maybe he'd find something to hit tonight instead.

Date: 2004-09-08 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lynnmonster.livejournal.com
Ray lowered his hand back down to his chest, tightening his fist around the ring. It was pointy and sharp against his palm. It'd felt the same way when Stella had put it in his hand and curled his fingers in around it.

Oh, Ray.

none of that was enough to stop him from getting on his knees and sucking another guy's dick

That's almost disturbingly hot.

*fans self*

Maybe he'd go to Stella's. Throw rocks at her window and tell her to come out and dance with him on the lawn.

::heart::

This is just a *wonderful* portrait of wee!conflicted!Ray!

Date: 2004-09-08 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estrella30.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU TIMES INFINITY!!!

Omg. Seriously - I said wee!ray - and you gave me wee!fucking!ray!!!

Maybe Stella'd been right after all, about the two of them. Maybe she was right in saying no. She was right about practically everything else. Why not this?

Except, no, that wasn't it, because this was him and Stella. They were meant to be together. If Ray knew anything, he knew that.


sigh. What a sign of things to come. Poor Ray!

Maybe he'd go to Stella's. Throw rocks at her window and tell her to come out and dance with him on the lawn. But Stella was probably asleep already. Even if she wasn't, she was more likely to think that he was being a jerk than that he was being romantic.

Aww - woobie!Ray!

And the last line - gah! Perfect!

*loves you*

Date: 2004-09-08 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brooklinegirl.livejournal.com
this means you have to write boot!kink!porn.

You know that. Right?

Date: 2004-09-09 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estrella30.livejournal.com
Actually, no.

According to pearl, somehow I already promised her boot!kink!porn for...well, I really don't know what reason. Because she's cute, apparently?

Payment for *this* is somewhere along the lines of what you're writing right now, only with F/K because Ray/Ray makes pearl cry sometimes.

*nodsnods*

Date: 2004-09-08 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brooklinegirl.livejournal.com
serious, deep, meaningful love for teenage, fucked-up Ray. More tomorrow, but - so. much. LOVE.

Date: 2004-09-08 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com
Oh. Poor Ray! I liked this very very much.

Date: 2004-09-08 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raveninthewind.livejournal.com
Oh, the angst--it hurts so good. *loves the pain*

Date: 2004-09-08 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erika-sanely.livejournal.com
Wow, that first paragraph is amazing, but my most favourite line is The only thing that explained *that* was that Ray was really and truly fucked-up. because that's Ray. He's really fucked-up, but that's what makes him so great.

And I can completely believe Stella turned Ray down the first time. It explains so much about the two of them.

As usual, a wonderful fic from you!

Date: 2004-09-09 05:07 am (UTC)
ext_8892: (cal smoke (rusty))
From: [identity profile] beledibabe.livejournal.com
Oh, man, way to get inside Ray's fucked up head! Seriously, he's such a *guy* in this, full of incoherent emotional rampages, utterly confused about life and himself, and grasping onto a dream as a lifeline.

Whoa. Excellent.

Date: 2004-09-09 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

This is fantastic.

Date: 2004-09-09 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misanthrope7842.livejournal.com
Wow. amazing. Really, truly painfully lovely.

Date: 2004-09-09 06:52 am (UTC)
ext_12460: acquired from fanpop.com (Whacked by Theodosia & jodie_mouse)
From: [identity profile] akite.livejournal.com
Poor woobie!Ray. I want to shake him (after he sobers up, don't want him to puke on me) and tell him to forget Stella.

Date: 2004-09-09 07:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
That was just stellar, yes. *pun not intended*

Date: 2004-09-09 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chickwriter.livejournal.com
Oh, wow - this was so wonderfully angsty-fucked-up teen Ray. You did it again!!

Loved it!

Profile

ds_flashfiction: (Default)
Due South Flashfiction Community

July 2025

S M T W T F S
   12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 29th, 2025 04:41 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios