Anywhere But Here Challenge

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Gen, 180 words



The Road

The road was blanketed in fog, each streetlight just a vague nimbus of
light hovering above them. He could barely read the road signs
they passed, even the large, well-lit WELCOME TO MICHIGAN billboard
visible only with a squint. Beside him, Ray shifted in his seat,
leaning forward a little as he concentrated. A truck slid out of the
mist towards them, headlights illuminating Ray's face as it rattled
past, every line of fatigue and experience suddenly thrown into harsh
relief. He rubbed his own eyes, gritty with exhaustion.

"Are you all right to keep driving, Ray?" he asked, breaking an hour of silence.

Ray flinched as if he had been struck. "I'm good. I'm fine." Ray
glanced over, then away again.

He waited for the joke about his own driving.

Along the side of the road fences rose and fell, billboards hawked
hamburgers and hotels. The fog thinned, and Ray muttered something
under his breath, accelerating to his usual reckless pace.

The horizon was pink and grey when he saw the first sign for Sault Ste. Marie.

Comments

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

"Are you all right to keep driving, Ray?"

Oooh, echoes of HCL, even!

He waited for the joke about his own driving.

I love the way *we* wait, too, for the joke that never comes. Plus, I adore stories that end with them driving/riding/sledding off into the sunrise.

Nicely done.

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Oooh, echoes of HCL, even!

That's really quite an achievement, given that I've never seen HCL!

Thank you!

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Totally a scene that could have been in the episode!

[calathea.livejournal.com]

I always thought that must have been a terrible drive - probably still mad at each other, tired, and thinking about giving up on one another.

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful! So much in so few words!

You rule!

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I'm starting to think though that I am never going to hit the elusive 1000 word mark.

[qe2.livejournal.com]

I was right there with them, gritty eyes and tired face and eighteen-wheelers and all. Go, you.

Now write the rest of it :-).

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I do think there is a contrasting on-the-way-back story waiting to be written somewhere...

[prudentia.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm ... 'pedal to the metal' indeed.

As for 'journey back' stories, I'm particularly fond of the second part of Bone's 'Layers' series:
http://www.squidge.org/dsa/archive/episode/layerspart.html

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the story where they almost shag in front of cows. One of my favourites too.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Spare and atmospheric, as others have said.

(and one of my favourite 'journey back' stories is Ray Saved From Drowning (http://www.squidge.org/dsa/archive/episode/raysaved1.html) by Denise Raymond.

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And also for the rec, which I very much enjoyed.

[sprat.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was great! Such a vivid little window into that missing scene. I very much liked!

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. Very stark, and the last line just slots it all together. Excellent writing, if of a bit gut-punch.

And the description is so accurate to late night roadtripping in the MidWest. I just recently did both an overnight to Wisconsin and late night into Moose Jaw, SK, and both had exactly that feel.

[calathea.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you found it realistic.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

(if a bit of a gut-punch).